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Have you noticed that men who don't have or didn't have good relationships with their Dads are really immature, petty, and non-committed?
I mean my Dad wasn't the nicest person to me but I don't go around not wanting to grow up and be mature just because of that....that is just what I see around a lot.
I don't think that relationship defines the person's future as much as the relationship with the dad and the daughter. My brother used to hate my dad when we were younger. In the past few years though, my brother has turned into an outstanding person. Then again, one of my best friends is almost 22, graduating about 2 years late because of academic failure (he's too lazy, not too stupid), smokes pot everyday and drinks when he can, only had two consistent jobs (both of which he quit within a few months of working), et cetera. Now, if we're talking about how that relationship defines the boy (as opposed to the man) then I may agree more.
My boyfriend had a crappy relationship with his dad. His dad is an alcoholic and would verbally and physically abuse his family. My boyfriend turned out mature, kind and bighearted. He also is a very moderate drinker. But his mom is a great woman and he has two sisters.
One of the things that my boyfriend and I have in common is that we both have a parent that we abhor... and refuse to become like. We see how awful they are as people and make it a point not to be like them. We made a conscious effort to learn from the error of our parents' ways.
I'm just calling it as it is and what I've seen.....guys hold onto all these issues and then suddenly it comes out of nowhere "oh my dad was never there for me he left us when I was 2" etc.etc.etc. all these stories and I am like ughhhh. I am not your therapist.
Most of my friends grew up in single mother homes, and frankly, they are all on the low end of society. No dad, no motivation to be a man.
we are a nation of men raised by women. A woman has no idea what it takes to be a man, which they all think is so easy. A man raised without a father has to figure it all out on his own, which can be really hard. When I "came of age" all I knew about manhood was that men are evil - which is what my mom (bless her heart), my sisters and the other single moms in my mom's family told me.
I'll do whatever it takes so my two sons have a better idea of manhood.
good for you. if family members brain wash you to think that all men are evil then you are going to carry that negative belief and throw away any good that comes your way. It is great you want to model what manhood is to your two sons. That is great!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jefetio
we are a nation of men raised by women. A woman has no idea what it takes to be a man, which they all think is so easy. A man raised without a father has to figure it all out on his own, which can be really hard. When I "came of age" all I knew about manhood was that men are evil - which is what my mom (bless her heart), my sisters and the other single moms in my mom's family told me.
I'll do whatever it takes so my two sons have a better idea of manhood.
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