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Yes he is a loser. Like I said in my original post, I was YOUNG and DUMB. I'm not looking for validation of me being stupid....I already know it. But what matters is that I'm wising up now.....
I appreciate all the feedback....
I live in Nebraska....I don't believe there is common law marriage. He does watch children while I work during the day and do household things. I'm not concerned about daycare, with the money I'll save without him, I'll be better off.
I know what I have to do. It's just going to be a big mess to do it.... But thats life I guess.
Thanks again
Good luck! Consult with an attorney if you need to.
OP, sorry you are faced with such a difficult decision. It's never easy to leave someone whom you've loved and built a life with. You have come to the conclusion you deserve to be happier and live a better life without this man. Some people spend their whole life "contemplating" and never make a move...kudos to you for having the guts to make a decision one way or the other.
My first suggestion would be to talk to him and tell him of your plans, be direct and if you are truly serious, don't back down. Secondly, both of you need to talk to the kids and tell them you still love them, you will be there for them and things will be different but they will be loved and cared for by mom and dad.
If your husband is serious about getting things back on track with you, he will respect your decision....even if it's short-term or to give him the opportunity to prove himself to you. Either way, sounds like the two of you may need a break from each other. The time apart will either give the two of you a renewed commitment or be the final curtain call to the marriage.
Whatever you decide, I wish you and the children the best.
I've made the decision to end it. But how do I go about it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by xo.stevers.xo
"Women with my attitude" ???
First off, EVERYTHING is in my name. The house, the bills, the car, etc.
Second, not only is it in MY name, I'M the only one who pays for it.
He helps with groceries and puts gas in his own car. That's all he does.
And last but not least...he has NEVER supported me financially. He has never been able to and I have never asked him to. Not when I was pregnant, not before that, and not now. And we are not married.
I stuck it out because at one point I was happy and in love, but that was long ago. I stuck it out because I wanted to try.
So what gives me the right to kick him out is that it is my house.
You are certainly right to assume that. But, if you were a man and he was a woman, you would have to give him half of everything. Since that is not the case, maybe all you will have to give him is the boot.
Having children involved always makes the difference, I suggest you re-read seeniorita's post above. Her advice is always good. Even if you file for divorce, this man will not be out of your life, he may demand and get spousal support until he can find a job. He may even end up with the house and the kids, since he is the one who has been caring for them and you are the breadwinner. That is how it works if your genders were reversed. Strange things happen in divorce court and sometimes the best liar comes out ahead, but nobody wins in divorce court. There are only losers, and it's usually the kids.
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 10-08-2010 at 12:26 PM..
I've made the decision to end it. But how do I go about it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by xo.stevers.xo
we're not married. but thanks again.
Sorry, I read your post more than once. Just didn't sink in I guess. When I see kids are involved that is the first thing I think about, but that was my mistake. Sorry...
I knew a young couple had pretty much the same scenario, What the woman did was get a good friend or family member to watch the kids take them out for diner, movies and have them prepared to spend the night. You and the guy and maybe a family member ( in this case it was an aunt) hash it out with the guy pack him up and tell him you want to go it alone. Before he leaves bring the kids back and let them know dad and mom will still be dad and mom but will not live in the same house anymore.
Seek the advice of an attorney before you do or say anything. You'll need it.
Is he listed as the father of your children on their birth certificates? If not, you'll need to establish paternity before child support issues can be addressed. And as other posters have said, you may end up paying him support depending upon the state you live in.
If someone is in a abusive relationship you cant hug it away and you should not stay because of the children if you want out Get Out if that is what you want to do. Thinking of the children in a abusive relationship is not staying.
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I've made the decision to end it. But how do I go about it?
