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I`m not sure...I just filled out like a 6 page letter... To be honest, I was scared to turn it in...i figured it would be totally out of my hands then...
I`m not sure...I just filled out like a 6 page letter... To be honest, I was scared to turn it in...i figured it would be totally out of my hands then...
It will be, but in a GOOD way don't you see?
Now he'll have to pay them and they'll send you a monthly check.
Even if he WANTS to tell you all his troubles it won't do any good - he has to find a way to fulfill his financial obligation without manipulating you or taking advantage of your soft spot for him.
Now he'll have to pay them and they'll send you a monthly check.
Even if he WANTS to tell you all his troubles it won't do any good - he has to find a way to fulfill his financial obligation without manipulating you or taking advantage of your soft spot for him.
Yes.....I hear you loud and clear girl.....I know.... I`ll do it!!!
You would still have to go to court I'm afraid. But the CSE lawyer would do all the talking for you most likely. The judge will ask your ex questions and he'll have to provide some info then the judge will set an amount. You won't have to ask for a thing really. Every state has guidelines for what is considered acceptable support. It's all based on a formula that makes things go quickly once you get into the court room. But again, the CSE lawyer is there for you, so you won't have to be scared
But once that amount is established he has to pay up no ifs, ands or buts. There will be no use in giving you sob stories because it will be out of your hands to change what he pays anyway. He'll have to explain to the court why he's not paying if he doesn't.
Described to the T... Turn in your papers, you will feel a lot of relief.
Hi, Yankee, sorry about your situation. It seems you have a great deal of compassion for your ex-husband and that is very good for both of you. He is not a bad guy, as you said already, and there is no reason to hate him, especially since your son loves him. However, if you think about it, it's not going to leave him broke if he helps out financially. And if it does, I hardly think that is because he is sending a percentage of his check to help support his son. He must be bad at managing money, which is not your fault. Every father has to do it, and so does he. It might be true he can barely pay for food, but if he can't he needs to tell the court why or why not. And perhaps get another job if he is unable to pay the bills with just one job. It is his duty as a father to make sure his child is taken care of. It is every parent's duty to make sure their child is taken care of. You don't mean to cause him harm, you just want your child to be better off. And that is your duty as a mom.
OK.. I have freakin` had it. I need to vent this out before I blow up!
The last two and ahalf yrs. I have been very patient, with my ex, and his child support payments! I know that he has had a round of bad luck, so I haven`t ask him for nothing for our child. No clothes, no lunch money, nothing... he lost his business, and went bankrupt. He found another job pretty quickly after that, but I never ask him for a dime, because I knew that he had his own problems, and yes, I felt sorry for him.
Then, awhile later, he lost his house! More time, and sob stories...I was allowing him to try to get his life back before I ask him for money for our son.
The time just never seemed to be right. I would hear how broke he was, etc..
OK..Here awhile back..he sold a house he had, and got at least 5 grand.. his sister told me about it. I thought, well good....he can at least help pay for the school supplies and clothes that the boy needs... he is 11, and outgrowing everything..I ask him for help. He gives me a hundred dollars! Sigh......
I get furious about it, and go to the child support place to fill out papers on him....but haven`t turned them in yet..
He has given me 40 bucks last month, only because I ask him when he was going to start paying to help..
Today....he pulls up in my driveway driving a 2008 toyota selica!!
I called him and said,"A new car huh?" He went on to tell me how much money he will save with the diffrence in gas milieage, blah , blah!
He tells me that he don`t have enough money to pay his rent some months, or buy food, but this??
Hit me!!! I`m ready for ya!
I`m gonna add, that I`m not sure what will happen to him, once I turn these child support papers in...I don`t want to see him go to jail, or even payback the back child support...I just want him to make his payments weekly, so I can support him(our son) the way he needs to be.
I will answer this part... NOTHING!!!
I have been in the courts and they will do nothing in our area. Jail is full but even if they weren't they wouldn't because they think he has to be out there making money to support and can't do that in jail.
There was a guy who was warned that he better have a job and paying money owned by the time they meet in 3 month or he will go to jail. Guess what? He came walking into the court house without a job or money and the referee just told him he needs to pay back the money. That's it.
He was pulled over in another county with child support warrant and they wouldn't take him in cause it was an hour drive to that county.
Oh and the money he got...ha! This guy was in a car accident and got over $100,000. Never saw a penny.
I`m gonna add, that I`m not sure what will happen to him, once I turn these child support papers in...I don`t want to see him go to jail, or even payback the back child support...I just want him to make his payments weekly, so I can support him(our son) the way he needs to be.
I agree he needs to be paying support. But dont state you dont want to see him jailed or pay back support because that is exactly what is going to happen.
Of course it depends on the state and county court but most likely the court will charge him the 2 yrs. arrears. Then depending on his income will assess an amount. Possibly the lowest would be 30% of 40 hrs a week at minimum wage weather he earns that amount or not. If he hasnt made his payments in 3 months he will go to court. Maybe the judge will accept his excuse maybe not. In another three months, court. this will go on for awhile, then the judge will most likely put him in jail 30 days, next time 60 days, next time 90. If he is still not caught up 5 months. And so on.
So if he is just not paying, this may teach him he must pay.
If he honestly dosent have enough money, he will just continually go to jail, loose his DL and any other business license and any job at the time. Of course it does depend on the judge.
It was nice of you to be so patient and understanding when he was going thru such tough times, but your child still needs to eat. He still needs clothes. It is not your problem that dad is having tough times. I'm sure he loves your son but he does not have him as his first priority, the way you do. And at this point he is taking advantage of your kindness.
I hear ya, Yankeegirl. I was married to the same type. Patient while he got himself together because he had an aversion to employment, blah blah blah. It never ends. There's always a story. I got divorced when my daughter was 8, and the judge ordered him to pay only $50 a week because he was unemployed. Then he became employed, and after a few years was doing much better--he's a building super, so he gets free housing, utilities, etc., plus a salary. When she hit high school, I told him he needed to upgrade. His excuse was that he paid for a cell phone for her, so that and the $50 he gave me sometimes should be fine. I finally took him back to court when she was 16, and what I ended up getting from that time until she turned 18 was almost exactly what the lawyer cost me.
SO, I am telling you, don't wait. The fact of the matter is that a) he probably sees the money as going to YOU, and b) he has no friggin' clue how much a kid costs.
Mine's in college now, and Mr. Cheapo is still coming up with excuses as to why he can't pay for this or that or the other thing (like a bus ticket for her to come home for the weekend) yet he eats dinner in restaurants four or five nights a week and drinks at bars 7 nights a week. Free three-bedroom apartment in an expensive co-op building, phone paid for, utilities paid for plus a $65K salary, but when she asks for a $50 bus ticket, he still says "I don't have it, ask your mother."
And continue to do the right thing--don't disparage your kid's father to your kid. They figure it out on their own all in good time.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 10-08-2010 at 08:52 AM..
My philosophy is this. If he is your ex HUSBAND, then he should be responsible for 1/2 of the child support.
<snip>
20yrsinBranson
Yours or anyone's else's "philosophy" doesn't mean jack. Unless a detailed form is submitted outlining unusual expenses, the states have a set amount that they have determined it costs to raise a child. The cost is split along the same percentage lines as the combination of the income of the two parents. Therefore, if Mom makes $60K a year and Dad makes $40K a year (to use easy round numbers) and the state-determined amount for the cost of the child is $1200 a month, and the mother has primary custody, Dad pays $480 a month.
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I`ll do it!!!
Sigh......
