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Old 10-09-2010, 07:35 AM
 
4,721 posts, read 5,310,183 times
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I do think men should follow the woman's lead in this instance. She will find a way to let you know, if she enjoys this kind of thing. Most women don't until they get to know a guy, and even then there is a way to hint and talk about it without being crass.
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Old 10-09-2010, 01:50 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,297,497 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Guys are either too pushy or not pushy enough.

However, if he's hot, who cares? You cannot afford to be picky then!
The guy in question was attractive. Hot or not, if you act like an idiot, I'm not going to be interested
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Old 10-09-2010, 01:52 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,297,497 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Women call it "confidence" but basically what they are looking for is a guy who has options and therefore treats them with something approaching contempt. Then they are scared that their g/fs will give them a hard time if he slips through their fingers too easily. So they are the pushy one.
Huh?
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Old 10-09-2010, 02:00 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,194 posts, read 52,629,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
Some women want men to talk about sex right away...and if they don't they think the guy is "strange".

Some women don't want to talk about sex right away.

Everyone is different.

I'm with you on this subject.....a guy who rants on and on about sex is a big turn-off for me.

And, lol, some who brag the most, have the least to offer.
I was seeing a girl one time, trying to be respectful and not rush things along to fast. I think she dumped me because of it. LOL

I know it wasn't because of my lack of charm, wit and sophistication.
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Old 10-09-2010, 02:10 PM
 
8,679 posts, read 15,263,675 times
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That was one thing I could not stand way back when I tried online dating. I ran across a lot of people who would bring that stuff up in their profiles, initial emails, or IMs. It was ridiculous, really. You haven't even met someone yet and you are talking about how you like "sensuous massage" and "long bubble baths."

Yuck. Just yuck.
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Old 10-09-2010, 02:40 PM
 
8,862 posts, read 17,477,939 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
I do think men should follow the woman's lead in this instance. She will find a way to let you know, if she enjoys this kind of thing. Most women don't until they get to know a guy, and even then there is a way to hint and talk about it without being crass.
I agree. It's the eternal dance. If the 'S' word is brought up by a guy and the woman responds positively--he might then think less of her and decide to find a more challenging woman. If the woman doesn't respond then some would say she has 'issues'.

Sex is a good thing and therefore care must be taken by both parties.
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Old 10-09-2010, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,681,324 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
I do think men should follow the woman's lead in this instance. She will find a way to let you know, if she enjoys this kind of thing. Most women don't until they get to know a guy, and even then there is a way to hint and talk about it without being crass.
Exactly. A man who is paying attention will pick up on her signals and know when she's receptive and ready to move things forward. Men who are unable to "read" a woman, wouldn't be a good lover for her anyway, as it's this very ability that makes or breaks the whole experience for a woman. My two cents.

In other words, the very fact that he was unable (or ignored) my signals is an immediate indicator that he's not worth bothering with. I will swat him away like a fly.
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Old 10-09-2010, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,394 posts, read 15,687,113 times
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We just can't win can we? We're either too pushy or too much of a doormat
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Old 10-11-2010, 09:16 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,719,635 times
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how would we know where the boundaries were, if we didn't push them?

i like to take what i'm given, and run with it. i have learned that women who are interested will respond positively to innuendo and sex talk, and that the more reticent they are, the more i'm actually wasting my time in the first place.

if the person i'm talking to won't even hint at anything sexual, then that's a very good indicator that she's not attracted, just soaking up attention. there's nothing wrong with that, but it definitely changes the dynamic, in the sense that now she has to work if she wants to keep my interest, too.

Last edited by le roi; 10-11-2010 at 09:40 AM..
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Old 10-11-2010, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,737 posts, read 34,357,220 times
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I was just talking to a friend who went on a first date with a guy she met on a dating site over the weekend. Apparently during drinks he began waxing poetic about how much he enjoys performing oral sex out of nowhere, and my friend said she went from having a promising date to "OMG how soon can I get out of here?" real fast.
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