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I believe a guy should make the actual first move but I would like to make my interest known. How does a woman do that without it turning into making the first move. I have thought about suggesting lunch to a coworker. Is that making my interest known that I want to talk to him, or is that asking him out? Are there any specific things I can say to let him know I am interested in him?
It seems that he is interested but perhaps isn't sure if I am so I thought suggesting he let me know if he would like to do lunch sometime would show interest but put the ball in his court to make the move. The signs I get from him is nervousness, looking at me but looking away quickly, and some attempts to be helpful even when I didn't ask him about something. The problem is I get nervous too. I have literally walked into a room where he was and not said anything. However, I am friendly and conversate easily and we have talked. I just don't want to send mixed signals. I would like to get to know him better. I understand this is hard because everyone fears rejection so I am trying to do my part. Thanks for the suggestions.
Lunch is a good place to start, no pressure, casual setting, & no anxiety about making the first move (). BTW, this is the 21st century and you are allowed to make the first move.
I think I have been conditioned to watch out for being too forward. In the past I felt embarassed by my attempts to show interest because of the reaction I got. I really don't even know what constitutes making the first move. If suggesting lunch isn't making a move what is, suggesting dinner?
What else can I say to indicate my interest or can it be completely nonverbal?
Is the guy shy? he might be terrified of making the first move and might not know what to do. Try being a little flirty with him and see how he reacts. If he is shy he might be sending wrong signals so you have to tell him straight up.
Most guys fall into one of two categories - horn-dogs or shrinking violets. Depending upon which one you're dealing with here will determine how you make your next move. Since he doesn't sound like a horn-dog to this point, lunch sounds good to me.
That, or throw him down on the desk and have your way with him, but that might be a little over-the-top for both of you...
It's NOT a good idea to look for relationships with coworkers. Some businesses even have rules against it but in general it never works out very well. Maybe he knows this and is trying to avoid the situation. It's something you might think about. Good luck.
Most guys fall into one of two categories - horn-dogs or shrinking violets. Depending upon which one you're dealing with here will determine how you make your next move. Since he doesn't sound like a horn-dog to this point, lunch sounds good to me.
There's a third category. Guy who normally doesn't shrink from what he wants, but doesn't want to make things awkward at work. As for this outdated notion that a woman making the first move will cause the man to think she's easy, give me a break. If a woman made the first move, I would not only be flattered, but also think better of her. Why? Because it tells me that she's a confident person and confidence is a very attractive trait.
I made the first move in my last relationship, but I had the benefit of knowing he had a crush on me, beforehand. We were chatting one night, and he was awkwardly wording something that sounded like he was trying to gauge my interest in him (English was also not his first language). I interrupted and said "Are you asking me if I'm interested?" He blurted "Yes yes, I'm sorry, but yes!" and I said "I'm interested.".
We went on from there.
If I didn't know about the crush, it would have been a lot harder, and I wouldn't be quite so smooth. The only other time I recall being anything close to "forward", was when I had a crush on a dj. It was after the bar had closed, and the dj was standing at the bar, talking to the bartender. My friends were egging me on to go say something to him, so I decided I needed to use the little girls' room. Conveniently, in order to get to the Ladies' Room, I had to walk past the bar, where the dj was standing. I walked past him, but the bathrooms were flooded, so I had to go right back out. He smiled at me when I passed him, and I said nothing. NOTHING. Perfect opportunity, and I screwed it up. I just smiled back, and rushed back to the table with my friends. After banging my head on the table for being so shy, I noticed him glancing over in my direction, again. I told my friends "You know what? I'm going for it." And I went over, introduced myself, and we shook hands and chatted for a bit. Then I ran across the street to the Exxon station because I really DID have to use the ladies room!
Totally ignore him...that usually piques their interest.
Or he'll just move on. Playing mind games rarely works.
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). BTW, this is the 21st century and you are allowed to make the first move.
