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I have been talking to this woman for the past 2 years and its been hot and its been not so hot. I had feeling she is interested in some other guy, and down the road i was right there were like three other guys that she is interested in. Now she is just into one of them who is a cop. At first I thought crap I cant beat that I'm just a nerd. As a couple months have past she releases some information about the guy. The complete opposite of what i thought, He has 2 kids by two different women, with a boat load of drama, one raping his check and life and the other thinks the guy is her boyfriend. The whole thing sounds like a soap opera.
But anyway, every 13th of the month she reminds me of when we first met and everything, i dont know if this is supposed to mean something or not. She goes on by saying I make her laugh, she enjoys my company, she likes my humor, she likes my family.
I do like her, she has pretty much everything I'm looking for. Intellect, goal-oriented, and to top it all off she looks fantastic. But, my gut says sorry bro not happening.
Any insight would be great.
We have been out, but I think it has been more causal than a date. I think I will just keep on going until she decides what she wants to do. I guess I will just be nice and myself till something happeneds. So woman is bond to like me.
I have been talking to this woman for the past 2 years and its been hot and its been not so hot. I had feeling she is interested in some other guy, and down the road i was right there were like three other guys that she is interested in. Now she is just into one of them who is a cop. At first I thought crap I cant beat that I'm just a nerd. As a couple months have past she releases some information about the guy. The complete opposite of what i thought, He has 2 kids by two different women, with a boat load of drama, one raping his check and life and the other thinks the guy is her boyfriend. The whole thing sounds like a soap opera.
But anyway, every 13th of the month she reminds me of when we first met and everything, i dont know if this is supposed to mean something or not. She goes on by saying I make her laugh, she enjoys my company, she likes my humor, she likes my family.
I do like her, she has pretty much everything I'm looking for. Intellect, goal-oriented, and to top it all off she looks fantastic. But, my gut says sorry bro not happening.
Any insight would be great.
Thanks
Here is MY insight. She shows a history of making bad choices and being wishy-washy. Are you telling me this is the only game in town? I'd move on and run now. She sounds like the type of woman that enjoys attention from different men, plays games and will hurt you without a moments notice. She's goal oriented alright. Stick with your gut feeling, it's called INTUITION and it's rarely wrong.
Talking to her for 2 years (online or in person?)...either way, sounds as though you've been friend zoned. Not impossible to take it outside the platonic but odds aren't in your favor after this much time, especially if you're carrying around a self-defeatist attitude that you're "just a nerd" and you can't compete with the loser's she's attracted to.
Talking to her for 2 years (online or in person?)...either way, sounds as though you've been friend zoned. Not impossible to take it outside the platonic but odds aren't in your favor after this much time, especially if you're carrying around a self-defeatist attitude that you're "just a nerd" and you can't compete with the loser's she's attracted to.
Its not that I feel defeated, just I have high standards and others I have meet and dated seemed to not meet those standards.
But the major problem is when I try to spread some distance she gets angry then calls. So I don't know what she wants me do. I tell I'm working late, either she will show up or call to see if I'm there.
How about if you figure out what you want to do instead ? Don't be a doormat in this life, because some people are going to trample all over you.
Here's the deal. You need to make a firm decision ... either you want to be her boyfriend or you don't. It sounds to me like the emotional issues between you preclude you guys being "just friends" any longer. That's causing you too much emotional pain.
So I think you need to make this firm decision. Based on this decision you would then either clearly break up with her and clearly let her know that you don't want her to contact you any more, or you would clearly tell her that you want to date her and you want to be her boyfriend.
Others in this thread have accused her of being wishy washy. My perspective is that 2 years have been far long enough of you being wishy washy. You refuse to make a decision about what you want, and you refuse to act decisively. That is the definition of wishy washy. Believe me, I know. I am the same way.
It sounds like you could benefit from therapy to help with your self esteem issues. There are many women out there who would love you and not treat you like an object to be manipulated. Perhaps this woman is one of them. Perhaps she is not. But the only way you're going to find out is by telling her exactly how you feel and stop being a wishy washy doormat.
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