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Old 10-14-2010, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,920,671 times
Reputation: 22814

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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
It's a good way to prevent some nookie.
That it IS!
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Old 10-14-2010, 10:45 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,537,980 times
Reputation: 2167
Quote:
Originally Posted by pitt_transplant View Post
Uh...I would not trust a stranger that was "excited" to see my kid. Its not really emotionally healthy for the child either to have a revolving door daddy. She probably is just happy that she did not get rejected for already having a kid. I would advise her to really keep her eye on anyone that takes fast interest in her kids. If they are a pedo-freak thats how they start out. Then they "groom" the child to trust them and yadda yadda yadda...20 years of therapy for the kid.
Exactly. Many things are wrong here but my biggest concern is their safety above everything else. I don't find his "excitement" to see the child a normal behaviour.

She has been talking to the "date" online (Match or Chemistry.com, I guess) for a month now and says that she feels very comfortable with him.(!)
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Old 10-14-2010, 10:47 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,537,980 times
Reputation: 2167
The kid is actually a toddler, 14 months.
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Old 10-14-2010, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 18,423,957 times
Reputation: 10148
If I found out that one of my daughters took one of my grandkids on a first date with them there would be hell to pay. This is wrong on so many levels!
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Old 10-14-2010, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Clayton, MO
1,159 posts, read 1,832,743 times
Reputation: 1549
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
It's a good way to prevent some nookie.
Dear God let's HOPE
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Old 10-14-2010, 10:56 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,593,142 times
Reputation: 7711
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLucky View Post
How would you feel about this? Let's say she asks you if it's okay to bring her child with her, what would you say? Assuming you like her a lot and you've already clicked very well in so many areas.
I would prefer she not bring her child on a first date, but it's not always easy to say. I also would be very surprised that any mother would want to bring their child. Most single mothers I know prefer to keep their dating life separate from their kids. Most would cancel rather than ask if they could bring them. I did have one first date though where the woman's babysitter had to cancel at the last minute. At first I thought she was testing me to see how I'd react. But rather than make an issue out of it, I simply asked if she wanted to reschedule. But we had already spent a lot of time rescheduling just to get to that point. I was really interested in her and I knew she was interested in me, given that she was the one who asked me out. So finally I suggested the three of us just go a pizza joint nearby. It wasn't my ideal place for a first date, but it actually worked out well. We got to talk and get to know each other while her kid played with some other kids she met there. But in general, no I would not want a woman to bring her child, certainly not on a first date.
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Old 10-14-2010, 10:57 AM
 
8,411 posts, read 39,167,545 times
Reputation: 6366
Ugh....I think that makes it even worse (online meeting). Who knows if he was shopping for mom's with kids for bad reasons?! I hope Darwinism does not take its course for the toddler's sake.
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Old 10-14-2010, 11:29 AM
 
1,135 posts, read 2,182,569 times
Reputation: 1581
Wrong! Who would allow someone to meet their child on a first date???? Maybe 6 months into it when you get a grasp on the person and also find out if he will be around at all. You can't drag dates in/out of a child's life. (well, I can't)
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Old 10-14-2010, 11:29 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,537,980 times
Reputation: 2167
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
I would prefer she not bring her child on a first date, but it's not always easy to say. I also would be very surprised that any mother would want to bring their child. Most single mothers I know prefer to keep their dating life separate from their kids. Most would cancel rather than ask if they could bring them. I did have one first date though where the woman's babysitter had to cancel at the last minute. At first I thought she was testing me to see how I'd react. But rather than make an issue out of it, I simply asked if she wanted to reschedule. But we had already spent a lot of time rescheduling just to get to that point. I was really interested in her and I knew she was interested in me, given that she was the one who asked me out. So finally I suggested the three of us just go a pizza joint nearby. It wasn't my ideal place for a first date, but it actually worked out well. We got to talk and get to know each other while her kid played with some other kids she met there. But in general, no I would not want a woman to bring her child, certainly not on a first date.
That may not be the ideal situation but it's understandable. I think it's wonderful that you tried accomodated her schedule, however my friend has a full-time nanny at home so there's no excuse to bring her child along to a date. She's typically one of those people who are totally obsessed with their kids and what I think is that she probably wants to see if the guy connects to the child and from there she will determine if he's worth keeping or not.
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Old 10-14-2010, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,915 posts, read 18,575,553 times
Reputation: 5524
I got to know a woman in a class I was taking and it so happened that my sister and her family were having this barbecue and they invited me to come over. I asked if I could bring a date and she said sure so I asked the woman if she'd like to go with me. She mentioned the fact that she wouldn't know what to do with her son who I believe was about 9 or 10 at the time so I was the one who suggested to bring him along. Now of course this wasn't a typical date situation but it worked out just fine. I do think it would be much different if you asked a woman out to dinner and it would just be the two of you and then she asks if she can bring her child. That would seem very awkward although I'm sure I'd do it if that ever happened to me.
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