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That's a bad analogy. If you leave your job because something better comes along, is that cheating on your employer? Of course it's not.
If you have an affair, is that cheating? Of course it is.
Employment and dating should not be compared. Employment is pretty much a necessity once you reach a certain age. Dating is not a necessity. A paycheck is more important than a date.
I'm just saying that it sounds like modern dating has the stress of being in a relationship but you're labelled as being single. Worst of both worlds. It sounds like the success rate with modern dating is low.
It's only a bad analogy if you believe multi-dating is "cheating". I don't see it that way, especially with someone I've only been on one or two dates with.
It's unreasonable to expect devotion and commitment from someone after the first date. I mean, why would someone commit themselves to another person who they barely know? Seems illogical to me.
If you want to take a woman off the market, there are these things called engagement rings which were designed exclusively for that purpose.
If you're not ready to put a ring on her finger, you have no right to expect exclusivity/commitment, in my opinion.
It's only a bad analogy if you believe multi-dating is "cheating". I don't see it that way, especially with someone I've only been on one or two dates with.
It's unreasonable to expect devotion and commitment from someone after the first date. I mean, why would someone commit themselves to another person who they barely know? Seems illogical to me.
If you want to take a woman off the market, there are these things called engagement rings which were designed exclusively for that purpose.
If you're not ready to put a ring on her finger, you have no right to expect exclusivity/commitment, in my opinion.
I'm never getting married.
And it sounds like there might be a communication gap between me and some of the other posters. In my mind, I'm picturing a couple that started out as friends then became more than friends. It sounds like in your mind, you're picturing someone going on a date with someone they just met. In that case, if they just met, then it would be different. But if you start out as friends then decide to become more than friends, it's obvious that you're interested in each other. The first date is the beginning of the 2 of you being more than friends (in other words, a relationship).
Here's a hypothetical for you, boodhabunny. You're in a relationship with someone but you're not engaged or married. She has sex with another man. Are you saying you wouldn't mind because she's on the market?
Lets say a few people from the office to to a bar after work for a drink. There are introductions between 3 guys and two gals. After three people leave, there is just a guy and a gal still there, who have jut met, and they order one more drink. Is it a date now?
He looks at his watch, and says he was plannng to go to an art film, and she says she loves art films and wanted to see it, so he says it starts at 7, are you free to go now? They get something to eat afterwards. Is that a date?
It turns out that they are both naturalists, and the nature society is having a field trip this weekend, so they plan to both go. Now are they dating?
Later this month, there is a weekend birdwatching trip to the coast, and they can double up and get a cheaper rate. They share the same room. Now are they dating?
She says she love to go birdwatching, but she never has anyone to go with, so they start getting together to go on birding trips. Now are they dating?
Even if they don't have any romantic interest in each other at all?
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Among backpackers, it is generally understood that if a guy and a gal are both going in the same direction and travel together, it's OK to share a double room to keep their costs down. Nothing is implied, nothing is expected. It is purely an economic relationship of convenience, between friends, the same as if two people of the same sex meet on the road and travel together.
Why is there a presumption that if a male and a female agree to do something together, just because they don't like to do it alone, it is a date?
Think of a date as an interview after sending in your application or resume( first encounter then leave a phone number). She/he call you back or you call them to schedule an appointment. You're able to get a schedule interview and one step in getting the Job(relationship). Like an interview, you bring your A game. You succeeded and now have the job. Stay in their long enough you become tenured(marriage) and you went from a job to a career.
Last edited by Chicagoland60426; 10-17-2010 at 01:07 AM..
Here's a hypothetical for you, boodhabunny. You're in a relationship with someone but you're not engaged or married. She has sex with another man. Are you saying you wouldn't mind because she's on the market?
I would consider it cheating only if there was a mutual understanding of exclusivity between the two people involved. Otherwise, I'd assume first date sex to be nothing more than a fling and not anything to be taken seriously.
I, for one, would never want or expect exclusivity after date one, or two, or three. I wouldn't until it was mutually agreed upon.
Usually guys who like me just straight up ask me if I want to be their girlfriend, or, some even just let me know that I am. A date would be when we go out anywhere after that. As you can see, the concept of dating is vague and unnappealing to me.
Usually guys who like me just straight up ask me if I want to be their girlfriend, or, some even just let me know that I am. A date would be when we go out anywhere after that. As you can see, the concept of dating is vague and unnappealing to me.
That's not as vague as some other definitions for dating. In fact, your definition is one of the clearest definitions on this thread.
Think of a date as an interview after sending in your application or resume( first encounter then leave a phone number). She/he call you back or you call them to schedule an appointment. You're able to get a schedule interview and one step in getting the Job(relationship). Like an interview, you bring your A game. You succeeded and now have the job. Stay in their long enough you become tenured(marriage) and you went from a job to a career.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny
I would consider it cheating only if there was a mutual understanding of exclusivity between the two people involved. Otherwise, I'd assume first date sex to be nothing more than a fling and not anything to be taken seriously.
I, for one, would never want or expect exclusivity after date one, or two, or three. I wouldn't until it was mutually agreed upon.
I agree with some of the points you're trying to make if the people just met. But like I said earlier, in my mind, I'm picturing 2 friends that became more than friends. If I dated, that's how I would want to go about it. I would rather start out as friends and I would use that time to judge whether or not we were compatible. By the time the dating started, it would be implied that we were a couple because we wanted to take our friendship further and be more than friends.
It sounds like you like to find out if you're compatible after the dating begins, while I prefer to find out prior to the dating. Some of the definitions of dating people gave on this thread sound more like a one night stand to me.
To go along with Chicagoland60426's post: I would prefer to have the interview before the dating begins. If we start out as friends, the interview would be the time period when we were just friends and we (or at least I) were judging whether or not we were compatible. By the time the dating started, I would already have the job. I like to view the dating as the job and everything before the dating as the interview. If marriage is tenure, then I don't want tenure.
Or here's another way to put it. You get hired to be a friend and then you get a promotion to be more than friends.
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