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So I'm just wondering ... do any of you find that you look back on some people you dated a long, long time ago and feel relieved you got off at that particular stop more often than not?
Haha, absolutely!
In high school I had a crush on this guy who was just gorgeous. We recently found each other on Facebook, and he is now disgustingly overweight, with a child from a previous relationship and he is on terrible terms with the mother of his child. Hates her, as he put it. He is also a massive racist. Maybe he always was, I just didn’t notice?
My ex of 3 years is now married. He married a girl who said she would pay him for it so she could stay in the country. All class.
It’s so hard to believe that at one stage, these people meant the world to me!
So I'm just wondering ... do any of you find that you look back on some people you dated a long, long time ago and feel relieved you got off at that particular stop more often than not?
So I'm just wondering ... do any of you find that you look back on some people you dated a long, long time ago and feel relieved you got off at that particular stop more often than not?
I stopped doing this, looking up old flames and seeing what they look like today and what kind of lives they're leading.
The last time? Relief turned to uncontrollable excitement. I impulsively jumped for joy, soaring thru both the first and second-floor ceilings and landing headfirst into the backyard barbecue pit!
It’s so hard to believe that at one stage, these people meant the world to me!
Isn't it, though? Chalk it up to being a teenager, I guess.
I've read many books and articles that state people change then most during their 20s, becoming completely unlike who they were before. I think that's what happened with all of the old flames. Neither they nor I had become who we were supposed to become.
The pie-in-the-sky guy's outcome wasn't too surprising. But I still do wonder about the conspiracy theorist. We had a few email conversations. He has a conspiracy theory for everything. Some of the stuff he believes is so far out in left field, it escapes gravity, e.g., "there was no Auschwitz." He also believes he has special mental powers that allow him to look inside other people's thoughts. Jeepers, creepers ...
I read posts on this forum about people who find old flames on Failbook who reconnect thinking that everything is going to be happy and grand.
Weirdly, I've had just the opposite experience. I looked up my first true love, and he didn't turn out to be anything like I assumed. Not that he's an evil person; but he's turned into a rabid 9-11 "Truther" who's paranoid about everything, as well as strongly anti-Jewish. Has some strange ideas about Mother Earth and her people. I wonder what caused him to be like that.
Another old flame with whom I chatted briefly has been struggling financially over the years, as in, couch surfing between freelance gigs. I used to love that he was a "free spirit," untethered to the 9-to-5 grind. He was going to be the "next Bono." I was also still in college and didn't know sh*t from shinola about what it took to be self-sustaining.
These were men I dated before age 24, when I really didn't know much about relationships and marriage. So I have my wet-behind-the-ears excuse, I guess.
So I'm just wondering ... do any of you find that you look back on some people you dated a long, long time ago and feel relieved you got off at that particular stop more often than not?
I don't really look at old friends that way. I don't like to judge people on where they end up in life because who really knows where the wind will blow us, right?
Maybe your "Truther" friend ended up where he was because he no longer had you as a fellow guide post of sanity? You don't know.
Sometimes people become vulnerable to untruths not because it is all their fault but because they are missing the right people in their lives.
I'm totally on board with zoomzoom3's response. The past is in the past and IF (that is a big if) someone were able to find me on FB - it's as easy as clicking the deny button. I don't ever feel like I dodged the proverbial bullet because I feel like I've made good choices about who I keep and don't keep in my life. Ya know? I think too that anyone I had a past relationship with and however their lives turned out was what was best for them.
Oh yes...the guy I nearly married scares me with some of the stuff he's up to now.
His poor wife today is just as abused by his mother as I was when we were dating, and he still puts up with it and doesn't defend her. They're both military, and he has girls on the side while she's deployed. His financial habits don't jive with mine at all either, which isn't a bad thing I guess...just more proof we were wrong for each other.
We have dozens of mutual friends from high school, so when I go home for the holidays it's inevitable that his name gets brought up or we end up at the same get together, so he'll always be a very minor part of my life, I guess. I will tell my children not to date in high school
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I'm pretty sure you were saying you've been with your current BF for 9 years.
I think too that anyone I had a past relationship with and however their lives turned out was what was best for them.
