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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,028,976 times
Reputation: 2304
OK y'all so this afternoon he messages me saying "If you want, we could still try and talk and you could get to know me better." and I said "Why do you want to compromise now?" and he didn't respond like the WHOLE ENTIRE DAY from like 8am until 5:30pm. So I messaged him (around 5) telling him "Guess it doesn't matter. Just lose my number then." and then he says "I was saying I want to communicate like you wanted to, no kissing/handholding/physical stuff." and I said "But we just said we weren't talking anymore." and he said "I still like you."
SO I said, "Didn't you say I wasn't interesting enough for you to find things to talk about with? Because that hurt." and he said "I said if you felt like we weren't communicating enough, maybe you weren't telling me enough." (TOTAL LIES) and then he said "You said some hurtful things too." and then he said "Do you not want to just talk? Or are you already over me?" and I said:
"All I told you is that I felt like it was getting physical too early and if you could wait for me sexually and if you could communicate with me more. You said you didn't want to wait and that you're not a talkative guy. I also repeated multiple times that it was not my intent to hurt/attack you and I apologized if you took it as such. So I respect that. I don't like to go back and forth, I'm not a girl who plays games."
and he said "And you think I'm playing games?" and I said "I don't know, I wanted to talk to you still, we had a disagreement and I didn't see compromise on your end so if we can't even talk/compromise, then why bother? I'm sexual, but I gotta know what I'm getting into first. That doesn't happen for me with a few phone conversations/dates."
and he said "I'm telling you I'm willing to compromise. What I need to know is, do you want that?"
and I ended my reply saying, "I don't think we're good for each other. I wasn't even trying to hurt your feelings but the way you handled my honest communication hurt me and tells me a lot about you as a person. I was being emotionally vulnerable with you but you did not see it that way. So I hope you find what you're looking for."
then he RUDELY replied with:
"Ok, if you feel that way. That actually tells me a lot about you too. One small miscommunication and everything falls apart. I don't want to build a relationship on that foundation. I want someone I can marry and love for the rest of my life. I'll just lose your number like you asked."
What an ass, he's clearly upset about me rejecting him. I just wanna know why he messaged me when we said it was over! Damn, I am NOT a revolving door & sex isn't a SMALL miscommunication to me! UGH!
The chicken or the egg...? Well, these statements are actually true and yes, men's judgment is clouded BEFORE whereas women's judgment is clouded AFTER.
So true! My past relationships could have turned out differently if I had only understood this.
The chicken or the egg...? Well, these statements are actually true and yes, men's judgment is clouded BEFORE whereas women's judgment is clouded AFTER.
It seems like there's a trend lately among many people (men and women) refusing to acknowledge the differences between the genders. Men bond through sex! Like it or not, that's the way it is! That's why they leave sexless marriages, too. The thing is the marriage becomes sexless not because women don't want to do it, but because they want to feel loved, appreciated, heard, helped, etc. first before having sex and men wait to have sex before they feel more emotionally connected and do anything else the women desire. Get my drift? The situation gets to a stalemate, neither one wants to budge, and they get a divorce, even though in reality they might've had a decent marriage had somebody told them this simple truth on time. I think deep down we all know it, but we just prefer being stubborn and stick to our pride and ego instead of solving the problem.
Here are some sources, just in case you think I'm the only one of this strange opinion. You can look for more.
Men bond through being physically connected. The act of making love is how a man feels that you love him. Withhold this, and you are withholding your love, to a man. Men want to connect with the physical act, because the act of release during sex is how a man most feels connected to you. It is the "feeling of being connected" he most seeks.
Remember, men want consistent, frequent, and passionate sex. Know that men bond through being physically connected. As such, the act of making love is how a man feels that you love him and feels connected.
What Men Want In Women (http://hubpages.com/hub/What-Men-Want-In-Women - broken link)
Now, can he be an as@hole who cares only about sex? A sound yes! That's one of the risks of the game!
This is just my general opinion. As far as this dude in particular, you've made the right decision to dump his sorry as@ because of the statement below.
I agree with this cos it's def true however a woman has to learn when this logic applies and when it doesn't. In THIS case this notion doesn't apply because the guy is starting out pressuring you for sex which equals a lack of respect. When a man needs to 'connect' with you physically, he's not going to pressure you into it because he's going to want you to want it naturally just as he does and your actions will show him if you want it or not without him having to bring it up.
This guy knows you don't want to be intimate with him so he's trying to say and do whatever he can to get you to cave. Like I stated a guy who wants to 'connect' with you with the right intentions will not pressure you because that would cheapen the experience but for a guy who just wants to get laid, he doesn't care about your experience only his. Definitely end all contact with this creep and great job in standing up for yourself
Wow, LOL, this is the best thread on here EVER. Mostly because a person actually followed their heart and played things out well and everybody else in here is in agreement that the person that the OP was going out with was a douche! LOL Love it! I'm glad you handled it the way you did OP when he called back. Some guys are something else. I think I am going through something like this right now, I told him what I had to tell him and if he really wants to get to know me, he will actually try.
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