Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-21-2010, 07:20 AM
 
981 posts, read 1,620,369 times
Reputation: 1150

Advertisements

While vacationing, I met this girl from another state and we instantly connected with each other. She has the exact personality that I like and a body and face to die for. The problem is that we met the very night before I had to leave to return home. She also had to return to her home as well, which is a large distance from where I live.

The biggest problem for me is that I already feel very deeply 'attached' to her. It has been eight years since I was last in a 'serious' relationship and six years since I even last touched a girl romantically. And it certainly does not help that I live in a backwards, homogeneous community in which I stick out somewhat because of the way I look and talk. And there is nothing around here for people of my age, so opportunities for meeting and making connections with people are limited.

I have this intense yearning to see her again and to leave this place once and for all. I had already made plans to travel to the state she lives in because I have a friend that lives there that has told me to come many times now. And having been on this vacation has really opened my eyes to what I am missing here. It is my hope that she will want to see me again and to continue what we had going. But things rarely work out that way for me so I am feeling kind of depressed about the whole thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-21-2010, 07:29 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,466,473 times
Reputation: 10809
Look on the bright side. She does want to see you. You'll get to see if there IS something between you that you can develop, or you'll learn that there is not, freeing you to move on. That sounds like a good opportunity, so make the most of it but don't get obsessive about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 07:34 AM
 
4,897 posts, read 18,487,108 times
Reputation: 3885
this could be the love of both of your lives. dont disregard strong feelings just because of distance or you THINK it wont work out. how will you know unless you try??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 07:42 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,677,756 times
Reputation: 22474
If you want to leave where you are, then do it for that reason, but don't move "for her" in any way. That would put pressure on her, and if she thinks you just met her and now want to move to be near her, she might resent that kind of pressure.

Or else just communicate with her by phone, email, and text and see if there's really a connection. If you decide to move to a location near her, make it more about "just friends" for now. And if things work between you and her, fine, but you mainly want to be relocated to a place you fit in better.

It really might be where you're living.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 11:32 AM
 
2,068 posts, read 4,335,608 times
Reputation: 1992
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadJuju View Post
While vacationing, I met this girl from another state and we instantly connected with each other. She has the exact personality that I like and a body and face to die for. The problem is that we met the very night before I had to leave to return home. She also had to return to her home as well, which is a large distance from where I live.

The biggest problem for me is that I already feel very deeply 'attached' to her. It has been eight years since I was last in a 'serious' relationship and six years since I even last touched a girl romantically. And it certainly does not help that I live in a backwards, homogeneous community in which I stick out somewhat because of the way I look and talk. And there is nothing around here for people of my age, so opportunities for meeting and making connections with people are limited.

I have this intense yearning to see her again and to leave this place once and for all. I had already made plans to travel to the state she lives in because I have a friend that lives there that has told me to come many times now. And having been on this vacation has really opened my eyes to what I am missing here. It is my hope that she will want to see me again and to continue what we had going. But things rarely work out that way for me so I am feeling kind of depressed about the whole thing.
You seem a little bit desperate shug. And I guess it's understandable if you haven't had intimacy for years. Let a fling be your doorway out of your rut and not a tormenting experience that would have you abandoning everything in a foolish pursuit of someone you barely know and who has most likely moved on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,694,379 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadJuju View Post
While vacationing, I met this girl from another state and we instantly connected with each other. She has the exact personality that I like and a body and face to die for. The problem is that we met the very night before I had to leave to return home. She also had to return to her home as well, which is a large distance from where I live.

The biggest problem for me is that I already feel very deeply 'attached' to her. It has been eight years since I was last in a 'serious' relationship and six years since I even last touched a girl romantically. And it certainly does not help that I live in a backwards, homogeneous community in which I stick out somewhat because of the way I look and talk. And there is nothing around here for people of my age, so opportunities for meeting and making connections with people are limited.

I have this intense yearning to see her again and to leave this place once and for all. I had already made plans to travel to the state she lives in because I have a friend that lives there that has told me to come many times now. And having been on this vacation has really opened my eyes to what I am missing here. It is my hope that she will want to see me again and to continue what we had going. But things rarely work out that way for me so I am feeling kind of depressed about the whole thing.

Don't be your own worst enemy

You should be feeling excited about the possibilities, not depressed over the obstacles.

All that self-defeating talk has a way of manifesting itself into reality - STOP IT.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 02:18 PM
 
981 posts, read 1,620,369 times
Reputation: 1150
Thanks for the replies. I realize that I come across as a fair bit desperate, and well, I do feel a fair bit desperate in my situation. I know that I shouldn't feel desperate, but having gone so long without any intimacy has definitely impacted me mentally. I suppose it is all compounded by the fact I have returned to this dreadful city. If I were still in NYC, I would be living it up and going out to find people every night, but you simply cannot do that here. There is nothing in this place, which is why I am going to California as soon as possible.

In any case, I need to snap out of it. I simply do not know how I should handle this situation with the girl. I really do like her and I want to see her again, but she is in California and the earliest I'll be able to go there is in January. I just don't know how I should handle it from here since I have never done anything like this.

Does anyone have any tips? Should I try to keep the intimacy up or keep it casual until I travel out there in January? I am not traveling there solely for her. I have a friend that lives there that has wanted me to move there for a year now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,694,379 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadJuju View Post
Thanks for the replies. I realize that I come across as a fair bit desperate, and well, I do feel a fair bit desperate in my situation. I know that I shouldn't feel desperate, but having gone so long without any intimacy has definitely impacted me mentally. I suppose it is all compounded by the fact I have returned to this dreadful city. If I were still in NYC, I would be living it up and going out to find people every night, but you simply cannot do that here. There is nothing in this place, which is why I am going to California as soon as possible.

In any case, I need to snap out of it. I simply do not know how I should handle this situation with the girl. I really do like her and I want to see her again, but she is in California and the earliest I'll be able to go there is in January. I just don't know how I should handle it from here since I have never done anything like this.

Does anyone have any tips? Should I try to keep the intimacy up or keep it casual until I travel out there in January? I am not traveling there solely for her. I have a friend that lives there that has wanted me to move there for a year now.

January is not that far away

Use your time between now and then to try to get to know each other better.

Start sending her emails and get some conversation going.

Then call her occassionally as your friendship grows. Don't tell her right off the bat that you are coming to California, just give it some time to see if your interest in each other continues. THEN you can tell her you have a trip planned to see your friend. But do share with her your interest in getting away from your currrent state and how you've always liked California
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 02:30 PM
 
981 posts, read 1,620,369 times
Reputation: 1150
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
January is not that far away

Use your time between now and then to try to get to know each other better.

Start sending her emails and get some conversation going.

Then call her occassionally as your friendship grows. Don't tell her right off the bat that you are coming to California, just give it some time to see if your interest in each other continues. THEN you can tell her you have a trip planned to see your friend. But do share with her your interest in getting away from your currrent state and how you've always liked California

Thanks!

Unfortunately, I kind of already told her. I'll just tell her how much I loathing it back here and how I need to get away and that my friend has a standing offer. Which is all true.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2010, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,694,379 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadJuju View Post
Thanks!

Unfortunately, I kind of already told her. I'll just tell her how much I loathing it back here and how I need to get away and that my friend has a standing offer. Which is all true.
Just don't let her think you're coming just for her this quickly, it might scare her off a little But keep the interest up by emailing regularly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top