Vanna and Chuckle's Story (man, cheater, sex, advice)
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My worry is, if I leave him, I'd just end up with some other douchebag with some other set of problems. I've never had a smooth-sailing, cozy relationship. The next guy will be a workaholic, or verbally abusive, or still hung up on his ex, I mean why trade one set of problems for another?
No you shouldn't leave, you're not ready.
Maybe it'll take finding him with another women or on another website.
Wow, talk about right between the eyes. Its appreciated though. Maybe I do need therapy to heal myself, not him or "us".
My worry is, if I leave him, I'd just end up with some other douchebag with some other set of problems. I've never had a smooth-sailing, cozy relationship. The next guy will be a workaholic, or verbally abusive, or still hung up on his ex, I mean why trade one set of problems for another? I don't think there really is a happy ending. Just a level of tolerance.
If all you do is attract losers like this, then the person with the biggest problem is YOU. There are plenty of decent, respectable, loving men out there who aren't abusive and don't trawl sites like AFF. Either you are attracted to men for the wrong reasons, or there is something about you the repels the good ones. It's up to you to figure out the answer and do something about it.
If all you do is attract losers like this, then the person with the biggest problem is YOU. There are plenty of decent, respectable, loving men out there who aren't abusive and don't trawl sites like AFF. Either you are attracted to men for the wrong reasons, or there is something about you the repels the good ones. It's up to you to figure out the answer and do something about it.
I get your point. And I will contemplate the advice I've gotten here from these posters. My problem is, when I moved here without Chuckles, for two years I dated different men with a completely open mind. One was great! But he couldn't hold a job and lived with his mother. Another was fantastic! But he was a recovering alcoholic that liked to play mind games. These men came in nice packages, good at their jobs, polite, good in bed, funny, the whole nine. Until you dig a little and find the truth. I guess you can find "the truth" if you dug a little with anyone. This is what I'm saying - spend 3-6 months dating someone and you'll get the real deal. Then it's decision time. Years of drama with Chuckles and I still love him. That's gotta count for something. No I'm not addicted to him, no I'm not in denial. I love him. I'm trying to be an adult and work through our problems. I still get the urge to flee when things get tough, like lately.
Isn't that what "for better or for worse" means? You're not supposed to leave. Unless there's danger, or infidelity. Even with infidelity you can work through it if you want to. ugh go ahead, fire away
I get your point. And I will contemplate the advice I've gotten here from these posters. My problem is, when I moved here without Chuckles, for two years I dated different men with a completely open mind. One was great! But he couldn't hold a job and lived with his mother. Another was fantastic! But he was a recovering alcoholic that liked to play mind games. These men came in nice packages, good at their jobs, polite, good in bed, funny, the whole nine. Until you dig a little and find the truth. I guess you can find "the truth" if you dug a little with anyone. This is what I'm saying - spend 3-6 months dating someone and you'll get the real deal. Then it's decision time. Years of drama with Chuckles and I still love him. That's gotta count for something. No I'm not addicted to him, no I'm not in denial. I love him. I'm trying to be an adult and work through our problems. I still get the urge to flee when things get tough, like lately.
Isn't that what "for better or for worse" means? You're not supposed to leave. Unless there's danger, or infidelity. Even with infidelity you can work through it if you want to. ugh go ahead, fire away
Well since you aren't married to the guy "for better or worse" does not apply. Stop pretending this is a marriage when it clearly isn't.
As for the rest of your post, you need stop becoming emotionally invested in men so quickly. If it takes you 3+ months before you can evaluate a man's character - which is reasonable in my mind - then stop jumping into a relationship prior to the 3 month point. Why would you commit to a guy any sooner? That doesn't make any sense.
Stay with Chuckles for longer if you want. Personally I think you are way too old to be acting so stupid, but it's your life. Eventually he'll likely dump you for someone else, or will caught in the act cheating which will lead you to be even more of a doormat than you already are.
If all you do is attract losers like this, then the person with the biggest problem is YOU. There are plenty of decent, respectable, loving men out there who aren't abusive and don't trawl sites like AFF. Either you are attracted to men for the wrong reasons, or there is something about you the repels the good ones. It's up to you to figure out the answer and do something about it.
And one more thing, these "decent, respectable, loving men" - so you dated them? You know what they're like behind closed doors? I can recommend friends to date one another, but that's as far as it goes. You really don't know someone until you date them and get close to them.
My ex husband was the epitomal decent, respectable, loving man. Born and raised on a farm, simplistic tastes, funny, easygoing, guys at work liked him, family was ok, he was cute enough, smart enough, anything on paper you could ask for in a husband. My mother LOVED him. But he had sexual issues. Vanilla sex couldn't do anything for him. If I wasn't wrapped in saran wrap or dangled from the ceiling it wouldn't work for him. He had hidden anger issues with women. Normally I would never had spoken about that but it goes to my point. You just never know.
I get your point. And I will contemplate the advice I've gotten here from these posters. My problem is, when I moved here without Chuckles, for two years I dated different men with a completely open mind. One was great! But he couldn't hold a job and lived with his mother. Another was fantastic! But he was a recovering alcoholic that liked to play mind games. These men came in nice packages, good at their jobs, polite, good in bed, funny, the whole nine. Until you dig a little and find the truth. I guess you can find "the truth" if you dug a little with anyone. This is what I'm saying - spend 3-6 months dating someone and you'll get the real deal. Then it's decision time. Years of drama with Chuckles and I still love him. That's gotta count for something. No I'm not addicted to him, no I'm not in denial. I love him. I'm trying to be an adult and work through our problems. I still get the urge to flee when things get tough, like lately.
Isn't that what "for better or for worse" means? You're not supposed to leave. Unless there's danger, or infidelity. Even with infidelity you can work through it if you want to. ugh go ahead, fire away
Of course you are addicted to him....you keep on going back.
Last edited by paganmama80; 10-23-2010 at 02:28 PM..
And one more thing, these "decent, respectable, loving men" - so you dated them? You know what they're like behind closed doors? I can recommend friends to date one another, but that's as far as it goes. You really don't know someone until you date them and get close to them.
My ex husband was the epitomal decent, respectable, loving man. Born and raised on a farm, simplistic tastes, funny, easygoing, guys at work liked him, family was ok, he was cute enough, smart enough, anything on paper you could ask for in a husband. My mother LOVED him. But he had sexual issues. Vanilla sex couldn't do anything for him. If I wasn't wrapped in saran wrap or dangled from the ceiling it wouldn't work for him. He had hidden anger issues with women. Normally I would never had spoken about that but it goes to my point. You just never know.
I think it's obvious that your mind is made up about men in general. Perhaps you are right: Chuckles really is the best you can do. Good luck.
My ex husband was the epitomal decent, respectable, loving man. Born and raised on a farm, simplistic tastes, funny, easygoing, guys at work liked him, family was ok, he was cute enough, smart enough, anything on paper you could ask for in a husband. My mother LOVED him. But he had sexual issues. Vanilla sex couldn't do anything for him. If I wasn't wrapped in saran wrap or dangled from the ceiling it wouldn't work for him. He had hidden anger issues with women. Normally I would never had spoken about that but it goes to my point. You just never know.
I'm quite shocked! I would've never thought a man with this description would be so kinky.
Main article: Child's Play
When being chased by Detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon), serial killer and voodoo practitioner Charles Lee "Chucky" Ray (Brad Dourif), is shot and mortally wounded. Before dying in his human body, Ray takes cover inside a toy store, finding boxes of "Good Guy dolls", and uses a voodoo ritual to transfer his soul into one of them.
After reading your post, are you really thinking about staying with this guy? And wanting a future? What I think is that you are in love with the "picture" you have painted, and the fantasy relationship that you want. You are not really looking at the cold, hard, reality of what an a$$hole he is...This relationship will just continue to make you unhappy. Be alone. You don't need a man or a relationship to have a happy life. Get a dog or a cat, you will be much happier.
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