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Old 10-25-2010, 04:15 PM
 
43 posts, read 111,703 times
Reputation: 23

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If a woman in her early 20's has no source of income, no near future goals, isn't attending school, can't transport herself to and from your home because she does not have a car, which leaves the hour & a half drive (one way....) always up to you....

is it really necessary to even consider her girlfriend material? Or am I being WAY too critical/judgmental?

Background: My boyfriends roommate is constantly falling for that girl in one way or another, is always disappointed and comes to me to explain to him in simple terms why the relationship failed... If I can see it plain as day, why can't these seemingly normal 24 year old males see it!?

Last edited by Loolee; 10-25-2010 at 04:27 PM..
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,333,105 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loolee View Post
If a women in her early 20's has no source of income, no near future goals, isn't attending school, can't transport herself to and from your home because she does not have a car, which leaves the hour & a half drive (one way....) always up to you....

is it really necessary to even consider her girlfriend material? Or am I being WAY too critical/judgmental?

Background: My boyfriends roommate is constantly falling for that girl in one way or another, is always disappointed and comes to me to explain to him in simple terms why the relationship failed... If I can see it plain as day, why can't these seemingly normal 24 year old males see it!?
Those who refuse to study history are destined to repeat it .

He's obviously making these kinds of choices for a reason. I would encourage him to ask himself some very tough questions as to "why" he finds these kinds of women attractive.
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,583,463 times
Reputation: 24104
Where is he meeting these same type of girls, over and over..etc?
We usually live and learn...
First time, shame on you
Second time, shame on me. Tell him to wake up!
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Old 10-25-2010, 05:01 PM
 
6,536 posts, read 7,253,215 times
Reputation: 3805
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loolee View Post
If a woman in her early 20's has no source of income, no near future goals, isn't attending school, can't transport herself to and from your home because she does not have a car, which leaves the hour & a half drive (one way....) always up to you....

is it really necessary to even consider her girlfriend material? Or am I being WAY too critical/judgmental?
Guys can be totally fine hooking up with a girl with the characteristics you mentioned as long as she is attractive to his eyes, nice to hang out with, etc. Besides, it's quite normal to expect a guy to take care of a girl so I don't see how that would hold a girl from having a guy take her out and so on.

Have it the other way around and its tough luck for the guy. Sure, there may be exceptions but its just that, exceptions. As you might remember from past threads, women do prefer to be with a man who is in a "higher level" or settle with one who is on the "same level". But below that is just not THAT common.
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Old 10-25-2010, 06:37 PM
 
Location: GA
1,241 posts, read 1,888,764 times
Reputation: 1280
Loolee, I hear ya. I have a lot of male friends who choose women and I'm like, What the heck? Why are you even talking to her? Sometimes men have such small ego's and need to feel needed that they will mess with a "bobble head" so they can feel like the man. Some guys don't look under the hood of the car, they just take the car. I say some, not all men, are like this but I hear you on feeling confused as to how/why he would think this interaction would work. LOL
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:17 PM
 
30,856 posts, read 36,760,641 times
Reputation: 34394
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loolee View Post
If a woman in her early 20's has no source of income, no near future goals, isn't attending school, can't transport herself to and from your home because she does not have a car, which leaves the hour & a half drive (one way....) always up to you....

is it really necessary to even consider her girlfriend material? Or am I being WAY too critical/judgmental?

Background: My boyfriends roommate is constantly falling for that girl in one way or another, is always disappointed and comes to me to explain to him in simple terms why the relationship failed... If I can see it plain as day, why can't these seemingly normal 24 year old males see it!?
He's obviously getting some kind of emotional payoff from this kind of behavoir. Maybe he's afraid of committment so he doesn't go for girls who are available. Maybe he's not confident he can find someone who'd be good for him, etc. Heck, maybe he's gay and in denial about it and this is his way of going through the motions without having to admit it. There are a million other possible scenarios......but the bottom line is, he IS getting something out of this kind of irrational behavior.

Maybe you should ask him what he's getting out of it the next time he talks about it. If/when he responds with "Nothing!" then call him on it and say "Yes you are. Take 30 seconds to think about it and tell me again".

You might be surprised at the answer you get back.
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Old 10-25-2010, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,933,531 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Guys can be totally fine hooking up with a girl with the characteristics you mentioned as long as she is attractive to his eyes, nice to hang out with, etc. Besides, it's quite normal to expect a guy to take care of a girl so I don't see how that would hold a girl from having a guy take her out and so on.

Have it the other way around and its tough luck for the guy. Sure, there may be exceptions but its just that, exceptions. As you might remember from past threads, women do prefer to be with a man who is in a "higher level" or settle with one who is on the "same level". But below that is just not THAT common.
Yep, onihC has learned!

This kind of setting may appeal to the savior and controlling types mainly, though.
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Old 10-25-2010, 10:23 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,904 posts, read 52,278,409 times
Reputation: 52340
I'm not marriage material.... I laugh too hard at my own politically incorrect jokes...... I like beer too much....and a plethora of other things....
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Old 10-26-2010, 02:16 PM
 
1,413 posts, read 3,039,682 times
Reputation: 1367
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loolee View Post
If I can see it plain as day, why can't these seemingly normal 24 year old males see it!?
Maybe because he's only 24? Other than that, who knows. Maybe he needs a dad or mentor in his life to pull him to the side and explain a few things.

When I was young I was just as oblivious. I thought it was acceptable or understandable for a woman to have absolutely no ambition in life. I actually got a sort of good feeling from "taking care" of a woman. What was I thinking? It would take a long time to explain but it boils down to - I just didn't know any better.
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Old 10-26-2010, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 4,220,660 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loolee View Post
If a woman in her early 20's has no source of income, no near future goals, isn't attending school, can't transport herself to and from your home because she does not have a car, which leaves the hour & a half drive (one way....) always up to you....

is it really necessary to even consider her girlfriend material? Or am I being WAY too critical/judgmental?

Background: My boyfriends roommate is constantly falling for that girl in one way or another, is always disappointed and comes to me to explain to him in simple terms why the relationship failed... If I can see it plain as day, why can't these seemingly normal 24 year old males see it!?
His biggest mistake is thinking that women like that are even appreciative. The more a woman is not capable of supporting herself, the more entitled she feels to be given everything. They aren't grateful for it, so they are entitled, so he likely gets cheated on a lot, doesn't he?
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