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If sex is so "amazing" and "one of the best ways for people to bond," then why do so many one night stands, turn into nothing? Why do so many people in successful marriages, talk about everything else, but sex?
That's actually easy to answer, IMO. Relationships require a lot more than just good sex. Bonding is a process that occurs over time, and is not going to happen if there are too many negatives in the relationship. And many people in successful marriages don't talk about sex outside the relationship, just like many don't talk about their finances with strangers. Besides, what is a "successful" marriage, and how can you tell from outside if it is, unless the couple shares that information with you? By many standards and from what anyone could have seen from the outside, my first marriage was successful - it lasted over 25 years, we raised a wonderful son, we had good financial and social circumstances, but on the inside it was hollow, unhappy, and unfulfilling, and not just because of the lack of sex and affection.
Now I'm in a truly successful and happy marriage, and there is plenty of sex and affection and bonding - and it's ALL amazing. There is a great deal of compatibility in all areas of our lives, including sex.
Maybe the "quest for sex" is overrated but actual sex ranks right up there above food for me. Going without food doesn't make me grouchy but going without sex???? I'm a bear. Everyone is different but I just happen to know what I like. As with anything, gotta divvy up your time with what works best for you.
That's actually easy to answer, IMO. Relationships require a lot more than just good sex. Bonding is a process that occurs over time, and is not going to happen if there are too many negatives in the relationship. And many people in successful marriages don't talk about sex outside the relationship, just like many don't talk about their finances with strangers. Besides, what is a "successful" marriage, and how can you tell from outside if it is, unless the couple shares that information with you? By many standards and from what anyone could have seen from the outside, my first marriage was successful - it lasted over 25 years, we raised a wonderful son, we had good financial and social circumstances, but on the inside it was hollow, unhappy, and unfulfilling, and not just because of the lack of sex and affection.
Now I'm in a truly successful and happy marriage, and there is plenty of sex and affection and bonding - and it's ALL amazing. There is a great deal of compatibility in all areas of our lives, including sex.
I'll rep you for the response, as it was well thought out and worded. However, I just simply don't get it. It is going to be one of those things, I will just die, without understanding.
Other things I just don't get:
Facebook
Starbucks
Wine
Popularity of McDonalds and Budweiser
Voting Republican OR Democrat
Believing Kennedy wasn't killed by the CIA
NFL not being able to do any wrong...
etc etc
(Also, I think sex is simply being over romanticized. All the bad stuff is being left out: STDs, cheating, promiscuous sex, unwanted pregnancies.....)
Last edited by JSizzle225; 10-27-2010 at 01:05 PM..
"Now I'm in a truly successful and happy marriage, and there is plenty of sex and affection and bonding - and it's ALL amazing. There is a great deal of compatibility in all areas of our lives, including sex."
Let me guess. The first few years into the first marriage were happy and filled with sex?
I suspect the second marriage is going to become like the first one, eventually.
"Now I'm in a truly successful and happy marriage, and there is plenty of sex and affection and bonding - and it's ALL amazing. There is a great deal of compatibility in all areas of our lives, including sex."
Let me guess. The first few years into the first marriage were happy and filled with sex?
I suspect the second marriage is going to become like the first one, eventually.
LOL Oh, you are SO cynical! It's been over 10 years now, and we're still madly in love and sex is about as abundant now as at the beginning. Unless 10+ times a week is a dearth by your standards?
(FYI, the first marriage fell into sexual drought afer the "I do".)
LOL Oh, you are SO cynical! It's been over 10 years now, and we're still madly in love and sex is about as abundant now as at the beginning. Unless 10+ times a week is a dearth by your standards?
(FYI, the first marriage fell into sexual drought afer the "I do".)
That's the thing. It's too random. You either luck out and get a good wife/husband and life from now on keeps on getting better, or you end up like most people and get a bad deal. Glad it turned out fine for you.
I'll rep you for the response, as it was well thought out and worded. However, I just simply don't get it. It is going to be one of those things, I will just die, without understanding.
Other things I just don't get:
Facebook
Starbucks
Wine
Popularity of McDonalds and Budweiser
Voting Republican OR Democrat
Believing Kennedy wasn't killed by the CIA
NFL not being able to do any wrong...
etc etc
(Also, I think sex is simply being over romanticized. All the bad stuff is being left out: STDs, cheating, promiscuous sex, unwanted pregnancies.....)
I think most people who practice sex these days (especially the younger generation) minimize risk to STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Cheating doesn't have to involve sex. Although than increased risk of STDs, there is nothing wrong with promiscuous sex as long as everyone involved is in agreement.
Your list of things that you don't get are all things which make you unique among the general public. There is nothing wrong with that.
Facebook - it's just a communication platform not too different than a forum, but allows you to target just people you know with discussions rather than the entire internet. Starbucks - They make good drinks... I know more people who dislike the pricing rather than the actual product. I go to Starbucks once or twice a day, so definately a favorite of mine (I drink tea, not coffee). Wine - It's an aquired taste like good chocolate. Popularity of McDonalds - Cheap salads and great french fries. Budweiser - Yea, this one is overrated Voting Republican OR Democrat - This is another thread on it's own Believing Kennedy wasn't killed by the CIA - It's just like believing in god. People just want something random to believe so stuff makes sense. Silly, yes. NFL not being able to do any wrong... - If you accept that there is a social hierarchy (celebs > upper wealth > lower wealth > upper middle class > lower middle class > ...), it all makes sense.
I would like to add to your list... I think money is overrated. It's a renewable resource and still people make a bid deal out of it.
I think most people who practice sex these days (especially the younger generation) minimize risk to STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Cheating doesn't have to involve sex. Although than increased risk of STDs, there is nothing wrong with promiscuous sex as long as everyone involved is in agreement.
Your list of things that you don't get are all things which make you unique among the general public. There is nothing wrong with that.
Facebook - it's just a communication platform not too different than a forum, but allows you to target just people you know with discussions rather than the entire internet. Starbucks - They make good drinks... I know more people who dislike the pricing rather than the actual product. I go to Starbucks once or twice a day, so definately a favorite of mine (I drink tea, not coffee). Wine - It's an aquired taste like good chocolate. Popularity of McDonalds - Cheap salads and great french fries. Budweiser - Yea, this one is overrated Voting Republican OR Democrat - This is another thread on it's own Believing Kennedy wasn't killed by the CIA - It's just like believing in god. People just want something random to believe so stuff makes sense. Silly, yes. NFL not being able to do any wrong... - If you accept that there is a social hierarchy (celebs > upper wealth > lower wealth > upper middle class > lower middle class > ...), it all makes sense.
I would like to add to your list... I think money is overrated. It's a renewable resource and still people make a bid deal out of it.
Welcome to the ignore list, if you are going to be all liberal.
I think most people who practice sex these days (especially the younger generation) minimize risk to STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Cheating doesn't have to involve sex. Although than increased risk of STDs, there is nothing wrong with promiscuous sex as long as everyone involved is in agreement.
Your list of things that you don't get are all things which make you unique among the general public. There is nothing wrong with that.
Facebook - it's just a communication platform not too different than a forum, but allows you to target just people you know with discussions rather than the entire internet. Starbucks - They make good drinks... I know more people who dislike the pricing rather than the actual product. I go to Starbucks once or twice a day, so definately a favorite of mine (I drink tea, not coffee). Wine - It's an aquired taste like good chocolate. Popularity of McDonalds - Cheap salads and great french fries. Budweiser - Yea, this one is overrated Voting Republican OR Democrat - This is another thread on it's own Believing Kennedy wasn't killed by the CIA - It's just like believing in god. People just want something random to believe so stuff makes sense. Silly, yes. NFL not being able to do any wrong... - If you accept that there is a social hierarchy (celebs > upper wealth > lower wealth > upper middle class > lower middle class > ...), it all makes sense.
I would like to add to your list... I think money is overrated. It's a renewable resource and still people make a bid deal out of it.
ick starbucks. Worst coffee. Ever.
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