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People tend to throw that bi-polar word around a lot and not really understand what it is - what this guy is may not be bi-polar but just one hot mess!
He's lying, a lot, to you and is projecting by making you the bad person, you're this, you're that, f-you this, f-you that, diverts his own guilt and from you asking more questions. The business and house - in three days - OH PLEASE! His behavior is OUTRAGEOUS and is a smoke screen for other things he's covering.
Run, don't walk, to your nearest exist on this one.
P.S. I don't get the relevence of the title to this thread to the issue in it. This has nothing to do with a younger woman and an older man.
People tend to throw that bi-polar word around a lot and not really understand what it is - what this guy is may not be bi-polar but just one hot mess!
He's lying, a lot, to you and is projecting by making you the bad person, you're this, you're that, f-you this, f-you that, diverts his own guilt and from you asking more questions. The business and house - in three days - OH PLEASE! His behavior is OUTRAGEOUS and is a smoke screen for other things he's covering.
Run, don't walk, to your nearest exist on this one.
P.S. I don't get the relevence of the title to this thread to the issue in it. This has nothing to do with a younger woman and an older man.
> I don't really understand why people take so many posts seriously, literally and often times out of context, in forums.
I apologize that the headline doesn't grasp everyone's attention, obviously it grasped yours enough to respond. Thank you for responding. It's good advice. But does it matter? I'll do my best to use catchy headlines going forward.
...Can someone please disect this and offer some advice? I don't know if I should allow him back in my life after what happened and if I decide to, do I only on certain terms and with clear boundaries in place?
Minimal dissection required. He's a punk. End the relationship.
I'm sorry, but this guy sounds very unstable. If he's showing this sort of hostility now, imagine what you'd be subjected to if you were stuck living together. I agree with the other posters that age isn't a factor here. I date younger and older, and anyone who behaves this way wouldn't see me again.
You've gotten some good advice from other people about the man in question.
But here's something that struck me as a bit of a red flag:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sondae
I am bothered by a situation that recently occured in my life.
I have been dating an older man (late 30's) for the last two months and I was under the impression that for once I found stable man. A generous guy, with a great moral compass. An honest guy with solid religious beliefs and a thirst for knowledge. He was always reading, seeking ways to become a better person. I thought I was dating a man who is traditional in the treatment of his partner. The man that opens the door for a woman and lets her go first. Who serves her dinner plate to her before he places his own before him. The one that NEVER complains. The kind, thoughtful man who was so evidently romantic. I thought this guy was wonderful, and would be hard to find again.
Well..out of the blue he tells me that things aren't going well with one of his companies and he needs some time to get things situated. After all, we had been dating non-stop (5 days a week) since we met. Things just naturally progressed on their own and one day I woke up and realized I was in a healthy relationship, finally!
There may be some folks who disagree with me, but honestly, I think seeing someone five days a week from the day you meet is not healthy. It is too much, too quickly. It is certainly not the stuff of a real relationship. It's the stuff of infatuation and hormones.
Which means that despite the amount of hours you have spent together, two months is not long enough to determine what kind of man he is--other than a bit obsessive, maybe.
You don't say how old you are, but my advice is this: Slow down next time. Give yourself some room to step back and look at the person's life and lifestyle, and formulate your decisions based on what you observe, not what he says or how gallant he makes himself appear to be.
Yes, it can be difficult if there's a lot of physical attraction and you hit it off very well. But do it for your own sake, not only for your safety, but to avoid sabotaging your own good judgment and your faith in yourself. Nothing will make you doubt yourself faster than letting yourself get caught up in what appears to be a dream come true, only to find that it's a nightmare.
You've gotten some good advice from other people about the man in question.
But here's something that struck me as a bit of a red flag:
There may be some folks who disagree with me, but honestly, I think seeing someone five days a week from the day you meet is not healthy. It is too much, too quickly. It is certainly not the stuff of a real relationship. It's the stuff of infatuation and hormones.
>>This sounds both cynical and skeptical. I had both the flexibility in my schedule and the desire to see him whenever I could. I work a lot and that was convenient for me.
Which means that despite the amount of hours you have spent together, two months is not long enough to determine what kind of man he is--other than a bit obsessive, maybe.
>>Sorry but I disagree. Statistics have shown that people can make an impression on someone in 5 minutes. So I think that in a two month time frame, I can judge someone's character based on how that person is acting.
You don't say how old you are, but my advice is this: Slow down next time. Give yourself some room to step back and look at the person's life and lifestyle, and formulate your decisions based on what you observe, not what he says or how gallant he makes himself appear to be.
>>I have clearly articulated that my position is based on his behaviors, not his statements. Anyone can appear to be gallant and still behave crazy.
Yes, it can be difficult if there's a lot of physical attraction and you hit it off very well. But do it for your own sake, not only for your safety, but to avoid sabotaging your own good judgment and your faith in yourself. Nothing will make you doubt yourself faster than letting yourself get caught up in what appears to be a dream come true, only to find that it's a nightmare.
>>Yes we are both attractive individuals who definately hit it off.
>>What I question would be whether or not looks really matter when someone appears to be psychotic?
**Thank you for your advice.
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