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I want to believe and support him through his recovery. I still have my doubts that he even went to rehab. I don't see him that often. The odd thing he still asks for money when I see him saying it for something like for his kids or whatever.
I don't know this guy that well anymore. We used to be pretty tight seeing each other often. I knew he had a drug problem then. The thing is he was there for me at one of my low points in my life. I'm better now. So, now I feel like I have to be there for him.
We do have a few mutual friends but don't know them well enough to talk to them about it. I don't want it to get back to him thinking I had doubts about him going to rehab .
I want to believe and support him through his recovery. I still have my doubts that he even went to rehab. I don't see him that often. The odd thing he still asks for money when I see him saying it for something like for his kids or whatever.
I don't know this guy that well anymore. We used to be pretty tight seeing each other often. I knew he had a drug problem then. The thing is he was there for me at one of my low points in my life. I'm better now. So, now I feel like I have to be there for him.
We do have a few mutual friends but don't know them well enough to talk to them about it. I don't want it to get back to him thinking I had doubts about him going to rehab .
The oldest line in the user's book. If you want to believe him and support him then go right ahead but, at the same time, buy yourself a T-shirt with "SUCKER" on it.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Rhetorical question: why is he asking for money? Better yet, why do you give him money? You must or he wouldn't be asking. I'd put the kibosh on that first thing.
Second, if he went through rehab, he should be going through follow up, a 12 step program or something along those lines. Families/loved ones/spouses often go too to learn to understand and better cope with their s/o's addiction. Tell him you'd like to start going with him. His response should be revealing.
The oldest line in the user's book. If you want to believe him and support him then go right ahead but, at the same time, buy yourself a T-shirt with "SUCKER" on it.
This is absolutely on the money, been there, done that, had the T-shirt, burned it.
He will call you WHEN HE NEEDS SOMETHING. Alkies and druggies excel at one thing better than any other social group--lying. If you are dealing with someone with a drug-use issue, your best strategy is to first assume that they are lying unless you see solid evidence that they are NOT, not the other way around.
As for being there when you were at a low point--that's great. But are you now obligated to take care of him and his problems forever because of this? Hint: The answer is NO.
Do not try to be understanding of addicts. They can smell that a mile away and will drain every ounce of you that they can, emotionally and financially. Do NOT think that "this one is different" from the others, or "at heart a nice guy". That's how they work it.
I want to believe and support him through his recovery. I still have my doubts that he even went to rehab. I don't see him that often. The odd thing he still asks for money when I see him saying it for something like for his kids or whatever.
I don't know this guy that well anymore. We used to be pretty tight seeing each other often. I knew he had a drug problem then. The thing is he was there for me at one of my low points in my life. I'm better now. So, now I feel like I have to be there for him.
We do have a few mutual friends but don't know them well enough to talk to them about it. I don't want it to get back to him thinking I had doubts about him going to rehab .
Is this a bf? And doesn't he have a job? That should clue you into what he is using his money for.
I want to believe and support him through his recovery. I still have my doubts that he even went to rehab. I don't see him that often. The odd thing he still asks for money when I see him saying it for something like for his kids or whatever.
I don't know this guy that well anymore. We used to be pretty tight seeing each other often. I knew he had a drug problem then. The thing is he was there for me at one of my low points in my life. I'm better now. So, now I feel like I have to be there for him.
We do have a few mutual friends but don't know them well enough to talk to them about it. I don't want it to get back to him thinking I had doubts about him going to rehab .
Re the bolded: Why not? If he is truly in a program, he would understand perfectly that you'd have doubts.
The best people to talk to about this, however, aren't necessarily those of us who've been through being lied to and used by an addict. The best person who can tell you what is going on is an actual recovered addict.
Addicts in recovery know that they have some splainin to do, that their loved ones will have doubts. Ask him straight up! If it angers him, he most likely didn't go. And stop giving him money!
You will know when his life is all put back together, He'll have his own money ,some kind of job, and a good relationship with his kids or family. It doesn't mean he won't take a fall again to drugs ,but it will be pretty obvious to you when the drug life is behind him.
The drug addicts in my family who have done well moved 1000 miles away from their old scene. So if he is still running around in the same circles, he is going to need some body right there with him all the time . If he is still coming and going with large gaps of time in between you may never know for sure.
Offering to be there for someone who has helped you through a bad time in your life is great, but if you have a gut feeling that he is not even going to rehab, and asking you for money? Whats up with that?
I would offer to go with him for "support" or ask him questions about it, and see if his answers are short and sweet, or if he acts funny about it.
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