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I learned the hard way to not go on a head-shot only... I went on a first date with a dude who said he was linebacker big... which I'm okay with, he was 6'1" so I expected big and tall... what I got was FAT ALBERT.... I mean this guy was bottom heavy to the MAX... totally unattractive OBESE... not in the least bit ATHLETIC. Linebacker to me says athletic... I can do a big guy who has muscle, but rolls upon rolls of BLUBBER - nosiree!!!
The sad part is we'e talked on the phone and via text for about a week before the first date, I couldn't say we didn't have chemistry, when he asked me if I was interested in seeing him again I told him no and why - straight up - I didn't pull any punches...
I saw his profile on the same online dating site a few weeks later, he'd added a full-body photo... better to have truth in advertising than the disappointment of someone rejecting you due to your body size/type.
I tried to imagine myself overlooking his body, but I couldn't do it... I really couldn't do him in the shape he was in, no matter how well we got along. And I'm honestly not all that, I'm overweight myself... but not to the same extent, I'm 5'5 and under 200 lbs... with generous curves in all the right places... I get compliments all the time, but I know I need to hit the YMCA and concentrate on my diet to lose some....
for me the concern is mostly underlying health issues, personally i've been working out at the ymca to build my lung capacity and kick my dependency on steroid inhalers for asthma - and it's working, I'm down to the lowest prescription... for the dudes I'm dating I'm concerned about diabetes, heart health, sleep apnea, blood pressure, etc., etc... at the ages of dudes I'm dating, late 30s-early 40s, any guy who is THAT out of shape is not going to be healthy enough to go places and do things within 10-15 years, if not much sooner... high blood pressure results in dudes not being able to get it up!!!! Not good!!!! Seriously, not good!!!!
I've heard that complaint from dudes about women lying about their body type/size... for women, the thing is how she carries herself makes all the difference... I may have a few extra pounds but been told that I exude sexulaity nonetheless... I know some guy looking for slim women isn't going to be into me, but I know plenty of guys prefer a little meat on their women's bones and love da curves...
So I'm gonna say I have a few extra pounds, which maybe 40, depending on how much you think a woman of 5'5" ought to weigh... my X thought I ought to weigh <120 at my height - I don't know why he married me because I was at 150-165 when we were dating, and then I had four kids.
To each their own...
Last edited by StPaulEastSider; 11-01-2010 at 04:17 PM..
I learned the hard way to not go on a head-shot only... I went on a first date with a dude who said he was linebacker big... which I'm okay with, he was 6'1" so I expected big and tall... what I got was FAT ALBERT.... I mean this guy was bottom heavy to the MAX... totally unattractive OBESE... not in the least bit ATHLETIC. Linebacker to me says athletic... I can do a big guy who has muscle, but rolls upon rolls of BLUBBER - nosiree!!!
The sad part is we'e talked on the phone and via text for about a week before the first date, I couldn't say we didn't have chemistry, when he asked me if I was interested in seeing him again I told him no and why - straight up - I didn't pull any punches...
I saw his profile on the same online dating site a few weeks later, he'd added a full-body photo... better to have truth in advertising than the disappointment of someone rejecting you due to your body size/type.
I tried to imagine myself overlooking his body, but I couldn't do it... I really couldn't do him in the shape he was in, no matter how well we got along. And I'm honestly not all that, I'm overweight myself... but not to the same extent, I'm 5'5 and under 200 lbs... with generous curves in all the right places... I get compliments all the time, but I know I need to hit the YMCA and concentrate on my diet to lose some....
for me the concern is mostly underlying health issues, diabetes, heart health, blood pressure, etc., etc... any guy who is THAT out of shape is not going to be healthy enough to go places and do things within 10-15 years, if not sooner, at the ages the dudes I'm dating are at now - which is late 30s to early 40s....
Good freaking grief. CD needs to make a teapot kettle icon
5'5" and describing yourself as "under 200 pounds" and you have the nerve to reject a guy for being fat, even though you felt there was chemistry? You have a lonely life ahead of you.
Isn't it amazing that during most of human civilization carrying fat was either a requirement for survival or a symbol of financial success.
Yet in the 20th and 21st centuries it's become a symbol of laziness, a potential 'disease' and a matter of public health to be controlled by government regulation or drugs.
A Spartan phalanx to be feared if it ever got there but that is what I would call fried chicken historical revisionism.
It is not difficult to pull up a height weight chart Example here.
If you are 5-11 as a female and have a large build you should be between 155 and 176 pounds. People do have trouble knowing their builds and tend to estimate larger since that gives them a higher weight rating.
I definitely know my build and this chart is extremely accurate. I am trying to get down to between 170-175. When I was 160-165 people thought I was thin, and I have been as low as 155 and looked really skinny. I could not lost any weight or I would have looked horrible and to prove when I was between 155-159. I had a white guy tell me you are too thin put on a piece a clothing on trip. This was a college guy when I was in my early 20s. The worst of critics of weight
It is not difficult to pull up a height weight chart Example here.
That chart is super inaccurate as it relates to me. I am 6' 1" and 180 pounds. I can assure you that I am no where near "large frame". I am probably barely even a medium frame.
I am not so sure this whole "frame" thing is accurate in the first place. An example I like to use is the girl Michelle who won the Biggest Loser. Note her before and after photos here -
People who use the "large frame" argument would almost always say she looks like a large frame girl in the first pic, but in the second pic, she is most obviously a small frame. Her bones didnt change, it was her fat. She went from 242 pounds to 132.
I don't lie about my weight on dating sites. I have full body photos on there in addition to close up shots. My weight hasn't changed much in the last 10 years so even the photos that are a couple years old are still a good representation of me. I try to have at least one photo taken within the last couple months though, just in case guys think the old photos are just there to "hide something"
I've had a few friends (and a few C-Ders) look at my profile and give me their opinion and everyone has said it's fine so I still haven't figured out why I seldom get contacted. My best guess is that I'm 42 and most guys are looking for women under 35 (even the 50 year old guys). The most recent contact was from a 54 year old overweight gray haired pilot. My age preference on my profile goes up to age 46 (haven't updated it since I was 41 and I prefer no more than 5 years either way) so I'm not sure why the guy thought an extra 8 years was OK.
That chart is super inaccurate as it relates to me. I am 6' 1" and 180 pounds. I can assure you that I am no where near "large frame". I am probably barely even a medium frame.
I am not so sure this whole "frame" thing is accurate in the first place. An example I like to use is the girl Michelle who won the Biggest Loser. Note her before and after photos here -
People who use the "large frame" argument would almost always say she looks like a large frame girl in the first pic, but in the second pic, she is most obviously a small frame. Her bones didnt change, it was her fat. She went from 242 pounds to 132.
I don't know...she's not big framed, but I wouldn't consider her small framed either.
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My age preference on my profile goes up to age 46 (haven't updated it since I was 41 and I prefer no more than 5 years either way) so I'm not sure why the guy thought an extra 8 years was OK.
