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UPDATE: OMG! Now the man is seeing a 21-year old. Just tells me what a true idiot and blind fool I have been. Moving on and yes - getting out of this hell-hole!
im sooo glad your moving on...
sounds alot like the relationship i got out of last year, 5 years in he decided hes not happy (because i refused to take on the motherly duties for his very spoilt and very mean 6 yr old, and refused to let his ex wife boss me around) and when i wouldnt allow him to bring other women in (he assumed bisexual girlfriend = constant 3somes and partner swaps...and thats not how i work...besides been there done that...does nothing for me)
he started pouting, our relationship fell flat and he began cheating.
it took me a good few months to realize hes a scumbag...heck one of the girls he was sleeping with he encouraged to cheat on her bf at the time, then leave her bf and shes 15 yrs his younger...
i started realy looking at him, the girls he had "replaced" me with, and myself...
i realized a few things
1: the girls hed replaced me with were all very insecure girls who use sex as a way of feeling worth something...
2: that i needed to work on my own self worth...any guy willing to play the head and heart games the way he did is NOT worthy of me...
3: that i had no clue what the hell i saw in him of the last 2 yrs.
no seriously, i look back at the pictures and when we started dating he was a totally different person, well groomed, active, affectionate, trim (Not skinny but trim) we did stuff together regularly and he enjoyed life more...
the last 2 years whent from the man i fell hard for, and he turned into a 13 yr old boy...he became highly addicted to video games (to the point his version of a date was gamestop or me watching him play video games) he stoped taking care of himself and his personal hygene, we didnt go anywhere unless it was to play DnD ect...
i look back now and wonder why i didnt see the change and know i didnt want to see it.
now i know im worth more than anything he could ever offer me...
you WILL heal from this...and one day youll look back and wonder...what the heck was i thinking?! lol
gee dragonfly, i am going through the exact same thing. i didn't break up with him because he cheated, but because i was getting emotionally abused on a regular basis and couldn't see that. now that i have broken up with him i know its the right thing, but i realized i have spent over a year with someone (and you had five years!) and it is going to be tough for a few weekends no matter what. i hate that feeling of wanting something that you know is bad for you. it makes you feel so ashamed.
i definitely would advise, like someone else on here, comedies. i am obsessed with "The Mighty Boosh" and it doesn't hurt that Noel Fielding is a cutie (at least to me and my tastes). "The Office" helps too. Jim and Pam give me hope for the future. HA! its fiction but it can help on a dreary night. THEN GO OUT. i am going out tonight, not on a love hunt, just to get out of the house and create new possibilities for myself. AGAIN NOT LOOKING. but staying at home feeling sad tends to beget more of the same. good luck.
im sooo glad your moving on...
sounds alot like the relationship i got out of last year, 5 years in he decided hes not happy (because i refused to take on the motherly duties for his very spoilt and very mean 6 yr old, and refused to let his ex wife boss me around) and when i wouldnt allow him to bring other women in (he assumed bisexual girlfriend = constant 3somes and partner swaps...and thats not how i work...besides been there done that...does nothing for me)
he started pouting, our relationship fell flat and he began cheating.
it took me a good few months to realize hes a scumbag...heck one of the girls he was sleeping with he encouraged to cheat on her bf at the time, then leave her bf and shes 15 yrs his younger...
i started realy looking at him, the girls he had "replaced" me with, and myself...
i realized a few things
1: the girls hed replaced me with were all very insecure girls who use sex as a way of feeling worth something...
2: that i needed to work on my own self worth...any guy willing to play the head and heart games the way he did is NOT worthy of me...
3: that i had no clue what the hell i saw in him of the last 2 yrs.
no seriously, i look back at the pictures and when we started dating he was a totally different person, well groomed, active, affectionate, trim (Not skinny but trim) we did stuff together regularly and he enjoyed life more...
the last 2 years whent from the man i fell hard for, and he turned into a 13 yr old boy...he became highly addicted to video games (to the point his version of a date was gamestop or me watching him play video games) he stoped taking care of himself and his personal hygene, we didnt go anywhere unless it was to play DnD ect...
i look back now and wonder why i didnt see the change and know i didnt want to see it.
now i know im worth more than anything he could ever offer me...
you WILL heal from this...and one day youll look back and wonder...what the heck was i thinking?! lol
geeez. i think you dated two of my crappy exes somehow frankensteined into one crappy guy. i THOUGHT i was bisexual for many years and i got tired of guys assuming it meant i was "freaky". it just meant i occasionally found women sexually attractive. i have sense in the words of cyndi lauper, "came out as a straight person". my curiosity was satisfied. and it took a few extra years to realize that i valued monogamy, whether it was a chick or with a guy. just because i had liked girls HADN'T meant i liked threesomes. there is too much going on and everyone has to be superconfident in themselves or else SOMEONE ALWAYS GETS HURT. always. always!! the older i get the more vanilla i get.
moral of the story- even the most awesome together females get hoodwinked and fall in love with the wrong guy. seems like you can't fall in love with the right one til you flail your way through some creeps.
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