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I also agree with Phil's advice, but I would even take it a step further; that is, "think negative". Ask her out while maintaining the expectation that you will be rejected. If your expectation is proven correct, nothing lost. If it's proven wrong, you win.
I also agree with Phil's advice, but I would even take it a step further; that is, "think negative". Ask her out while maintaining the expectation that you will be rejected. If your expectation is proven correct, nothing lost. If it's proven wrong, you win.
Heck, I wouldn't even go that far. I'd be thinking, "If not this one, then the next one."
How to stop being scared of rejection? Go out and get rejected enough times that it doesn't sting anymore. And who knows, in the process maybe you'll accidentally snag a keeper.
You sound like a nice guy. I know rejection is hurtful, but you must ask yourself if it's worth the risk. If you don't ask her out, you will always wonder. If you ask her out and she says no, then at least you can move on. You need to realize that real life is not like the movies. Most people are rejected quite a few times before they find the love of their lives. It's all part of the process. You can do this. Best wishes.
Alright, so as you may know there's this girl I'm interested in who's in one of my classes. We've talked a few times and she seems nice, and we got on fine, but for the life of me I can't take it to the next level (y'know, asking her out to get some coffee or something). And I think I figured out why: I put her on a pedestal and I end up scared that I'll "lose" her (although you can't really lose something you don't have).
Basically, whenever I tell myself "alright, just catch her after class and ask if she wants to get some coffee if she's not busy" I end up not doing it. I think I'm scared of rejection, but it's silly because like I said I don't actually have anything with her. I think I let myself work up some sort of idea of us being together that I become too nervous to do ANYTHING out of fear that it would ruin my chance of being with her.
So yeah... anyone have tips / stories on how to stop being afraid of rejection? This isn't the first time this has happened. There was another girl, back when I was in high school that I had a huge infatuation for but I was always too scared to ever say anything to her. Eventually it passed, and my life isn't any worse for not having her, but it seems my emotions override my rational thought.
Just drink some booze, it will give you all the courage you need. Man up and go all out, you really have nothing to lose.
Well for what it's worth I just chatted with her on Facebook and we ended up having quite a nice conversation. And I basically asked her out on a little tour of DC.
I'll definitely have the cojones to talk to her in person now. Thank you all for the tips. I decided to just throw all caution to the wind and chat because ****, the worst that would happen is she ignores me. But that didn't happen and something nice happened instead!
Well for what it's worth I just chatted with her on Facebook and we ended up having quite a nice conversation. And I basically asked her out on a little tour of DC.
I'll definitely have the cojones to talk to her in person now. Thank you all for the tips. I decided to just throw all caution to the wind and chat because ****, the worst that would happen is she ignores me. But that didn't happen and something nice happened instead!
That's great to hear. For others who have a similar fear, just remind yourself that you have nothing to lose. Think about when you apply for a job. There's a chance you'll be rejected, but you apply anyway. Why? Partly because you might need the job, but also because you know that if they reject you, you won't be any worse off and that there will be other jobs to apply for. Same with women. You can ask her out, get rejected, and besides a bruised ego, will you be worse off? No. And there will be other women.
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