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You just haven't peaked yet, nothing wrong with that. Don't worry about it, focus on your career, and one day you will wake up to find it is your turn.
The harsh reality is that this "hopeful" advise is not true. He may never wake up to find it is his "turn". That is the kind of advise that has gotten him, and me too I might add, into the position he is in now, 30 years old and never had a girlfriend.
If he wants a girlfriend, he's going to have to expend even more effort than he has done. A girlfriend is not going to fall into his lap. This life ain't Hollywood.
Furthermore, he's going to have to strongly consider dating women who aren't physically attractive to him.
At some point, men like him and me who have had no luck in love, have the opportunity to make the decision that we simply don't want to date, and that we are going to try to get rid of our desire for women. At some point, men like him and me just have to give up and accept the reality that we are never going to breed, unless we become willing to marry somebody who is physically unattractive to us.
You cannot understand these feelings and thoughts, and you cannot understand our position, unless you have been in our shoes.
Some REAL advice...don't appear desperate. No matter how bad your situation may be (seem), women can smell desperation from a mile away. While women claim they want to be treated like gold, none of them want a man that may turn "clingy" or subservient. Not saying you are this way...but from personal experience I can say that men who haven't had a real relationship tend to exude a certain sense of "ill do anything"...which is not becoming.
I agree with the others. At 29, I can't imagine having "finding a girlfriend/boyfriend" as my focus. This is career time...prime figuring-out-where-you-are-headed time. Stick with that, and let the gotta-get-a-girl thing loose to wander around on it's own for a while. You have lots of time for that, later. Stop worrying.
So are you saying you weren't dating when you were 29 ? I kind of doubt that.
My opinion is by age 29, time is running short if you have any interest of raising a family. Marriage is one thing. Many people aren't getting married until after aged 30. But dating ?
When one is aged 29, and he wants to date women, and he's never been on a date (except one lousy lunch date), I will guarantee that "finding a girlfriend/boyfriend" is very much on his mind. Again, I say that unless you've been there, you don't understand. I am here now, as is the OP (althought he may have been on more dates than I have).
Davros, what you are saying doesn't make any sense. I don't care what your coworkers do: dating someone you are not even slightly attracted to, is pointless. It would be the same as dating men, wouldn't it? Sorry, but I'd rather be alone. And if you had really read my first post, you would quickly realize that I'm not as picky as you seem to think.
SparklyWonder66, I've had many women tell me it's not about looks. But would you believe those women when they are continuously dating tall athletic men? Yes, looks can have a great influence. They are not everything of course, but let's be realistic: handsome guys can usually get away with many supposedly off-putting behaviors. And we all see this everyday.
Are confidence and attraction related? Yes. But most people here are getting the relation backwards. Men approach women with confidence BECAUSE they have been successful in the past. If you don't believe me, just watch what happens to one of these confident guys when they get a dry spell. I have seen it in person.
So, yes: confidence can influence in your success. But WAY less than most people want to believe.
Some REAL advice...don't appear desperate. No matter how bad your situation may be (seem), women can smell desperation from a mile away. While women claim they want to be treated like gold, none of them want a man that may turn "clingy" or subservient. Not saying you are this way...but from personal experience I can say that men who haven't had a real relationship tend to exude a certain sense of "ill do anything"...which is not becoming.
But it's kind of a catch-22. If you are aged 29 and you've never had a girlfriend, and you are interested in having a girlfriend, you are desperate. It's kind of hard to no appear to be what you are.
Again, unless you've been there, you can't really understand.
Davros, what you are saying doesn't make any sense. I don't care what your coworkers do: dating someone you are not even slightly attracted to, is pointless. It would be the same as dating men, wouldn't it? Sorry, but I'd rather be alone. And if you had really read my first post, you would quickly realize that I'm not as picky as you seem to think.
SparklyWonder66, I've had many women tell me it's not about looks. But would you believe those women when they are continuously dating tall athletic men? Yes, looks can have a great influence. They are not everything of course, but let's be realistic: handsome guys can usually get away with many supposedly off-putting behaviors. And we all see this everyday.
Are confidence and attraction related? Yes. But most people here are getting the relation backwards. Men approach women with confidence BECAUSE they have been successful in the past. If you don't believe me, just watch what happens to one of these confident guys when they get a dry spell. I have seen it in person.
So, yes: confidence can influence in your success. But WAY less than most people want to believe.
Success breeds confidence. If that's your weak point then pickup/dating coaching can help you fake it until you make it. As Bruce Lee once stated about martial arts, "Use a boat to cross a river, when you reach the other side you must discard the boat and not carry it on your back." Game works much the same way.
The harsh reality is that this "hopeful" advise is not true. He may never wake up to find it is his "turn". That is the kind of advise that has gotten him, and me too I might add, into the position he is in now, 30 years old and never had a girlfriend.
If he wants a girlfriend, he's going to have to expend even more effort than he has done. A girlfriend is not going to fall into his lap. This life ain't Hollywood.
Furthermore, he's going to have to strongly consider dating women who aren't physically attractive to him.
At some point, men like him and me who have had no luck in love, have the opportunity to make the decision that we simply don't want to date, and that we are going to try to get rid of our desire for women. At some point, men like him and me just have to give up and accept the reality that we are never going to breed, unless we become willing to marry somebody who is physically unattractive to us.
You cannot understand these feelings and thoughts, and you cannot understand our position, unless you have been in our shoes.
How do you know this for sure? Yes you could be right, but you could be wrong as well. All we know for sure is that you are projecting your own experiences and shortcomings onto the OP.
Most people are giving you the same advice you said isn't working for you. Just wait and increase your inner chi value just aren't helpful in your case. My advice is to lower your standards or give up. You could try dating women that are uglier/fatter than you like or have baggage. If you won't settle then you have to be mentally prepared for the world to call your bluff and leave you alone.
You could always date fat chicks for awhile to boost your confidence. Not exactly scrupulous but lets face it guys do this all the time. How do you think the tall athletic guys get out of their ruts?
By the way, I think some people didn't read my 2nd post. Yes I have been in a relationship: I did have 2 girlfriends that I met online. So I'm probably quite less anxious than what some posters think.
But I will admit that other than online, women have never shown any real interest on me in person.
Davros, what you are saying doesn't make any sense. I don't care what your coworkers do: dating someone you are not even slightly attracted to, is pointless. It would be the same as dating men, wouldn't it? Sorry, but I'd rather be alone. And if you had really read my first post, you would quickly realize that I'm not as picky as you seem to think.
You claim I didn't read your post, but I did. What you apparently claim I didn't read is this ... "I’m not very demanding physical-wise (though obviously, I need some minimum to be attracted)." That is a very vague statement, and does not at all prove that you aren't picky. Anyone could say that, but the devil is in the details.
I'm not interested in getting into an argument about whether you are too picky or not, but simply the fact that you have never had a girlfriend in 30 years of existence is the proof enough for me. The women you are interested in dating will not date you. Therefore, you are being too picky because you are only seeking out women who are rejecting you. I will guarantee that there are women in this world who would agree to date you without hesitation. Therefore, it is a fact that if you expanded your horizons enough you would be able to have a girlfriend, guaranteed. Now, whether you would rather be single than to date such a woman is a decision that only you can make.
But the fundamental truth is you have to balance things yourself. There is a threshold of "pickiness" beyond which every woman you are willing to date will reject you, and you will be lonely. This is what has happened for your first 29 years. If you are not picky enough, then you would end up married to somebody who makes you miserable. It is up for you to decide how much sacrifice you are willing to make in "attractiveness" in order to get rid of the loneliness that is hurting you. It is up to you alone to decide what level of "pickiness" you are going to operate on. But based on how strong your desire for companionship becomes, this level of "pickiness" will most likely relax over the course of your life. Eventually, you will likely be looking to date women that you would have in the past been completely unattracted to.
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