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Truth be told, I am a hopeless romantic, and pray one day to be married.
Though my parents example of what marriage is, well, the song is appropriate for them.
The longer I'm single, the more I don't think I'd ever get married even if I was in a long-term relationship. It's not because I'm jealous of couples or anything, but the way society and the domestic partnership laws are now, there's really no advantage. Besides taxes, I guess.
Other interesting facts from the article:
Quote:
The changes can be seen in more subtle ways too. New York University sociologist Dalton Conley notes that between 1986 and 2003, the most recent year for which figures are available, the proportion of marriages in which the woman was taller than the man increased by more than 10%. "In absolute terms, it's still a small minority of marriages," he says. "But I think the trend signals an incredible shift in marital and gender norms." There has also been a sharp uptick in the percentage of marriages in which the wife is older, signifying, Conley believes, a whole different understanding of the roles of men and women in the union.
Despite the complications that have ensued from this marital restructuring, it's not likely to be undone. In the 1978 poll, fewer than half of all respondents thought that the best kind of marriage was one in which both the husband and the wife worked outside the home. In the new Pew poll, 62% do. Perhaps that's not surprising given these parallel data: in 1970, 40% of wives worked outside the home. Now 61% do.
So fundamental is the shift that it's beginning to have an impact on what people look for in spouses. While two-thirds of all people think a man should be a good provider, more men than women do. Meanwhile, almost a third of people think it's important for a wife to be a good provider too.
If its a stable family life, then an unmarried household can be healthy, but many are single parents who cycle through different boyfriends/girlfriends, and bring these different people around their kids....not healthy for the kids, in my opinion.
I have a divorced neighbor, for example, who has her son from her previous marriage, and now another kid from her live-in boyfriend. Before the live-in boyfriend was around, though, she used to have what seemed like a "booty call" guy that showed up every couple of nights, and then left either really late at night or in the morning.
But do you really think if she had been married that all of that would never have happened? A piece of paper doesn't change a person's habits or the way their mind works.
She probably still would have cheated, but tried to keep it secret and if it was found out, there would have been a messy divorce to contend with as well.
"Indeed, about 39 percent of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete. And that sentiment follows U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over.
In 1978, just 28 percent believed marriage was becoming obsolete."
Having this belief is one thing but what has really changed since 1978 is the increase in people acting on their belief.
For most men, marriage is something that only a wealthy person - with much of their wealth well hidden - can consider anymore.
Then there are men who have nothing to lose. Now if they are good looking..........
Marriage started it's long decline when it became more about the wedding and impressing one's peers than finding an appropriate person to share your life with. Basically, women changed their tastes in men and most marriages didn't last.
Not coincidentally, this was also the start in the decline in the percentage of young men pursuing an education/solid career and developing themselves, in other ways to be good husbands.
I believe that commitment and accountability are the very pillars of a meaningful relationship. Without commitment a relationship is a mere casual encounter. While marriage isn't an absolute guarantee for a life-long union, the alternative is far more precarious.
I don't feel that you absolutely need a marriage certificate to be in a committed union. I know loving couples who have lived together for many years. They've made oaths to each other, have been faithful to each other, and obviously love each other. Their friends and family recognize them as husband and wife.
That said, my honest feeling about it is this. If they really are committed fully to each other (no reserves), why wouldn't they want to declare that with a marriage ceremony? What could they find disagreeable with making their commitment known publicly? Wouldn't that only result in affirming one another? Wouldn't it be a real plus to have a ceremony that is above question and recognizable to any and all - state, church, and society?
So when I hear people argue that you don't need a piece of paper to recognize their love, I have a seed of doubt about it. One of them ( maybe both of them) is hedging their bets and not fully committed. Talk is cheap.
For me, the marriage ceremony was an articulation and formalization of the joining of our bodies, our hearts, our souls and spirits. It provided an indisputable record as well as a foundation of security and peace that allows our marriage to thrive emotionally and spiritually.
Last edited by boodhabunny; 11-18-2010 at 12:58 PM..
There is more domestic violence in unmarried households. And there is much more neglect and sexual abuse of children in unmarried households.
This is probably due to the willingness of many single mothers, in their desperation for a man, to accept men who are not from society's better strata.
Whenever I read anything on teens keeping their babies, this is the first thing that I think of.
Of course, men with these tendencies know this well and develop a predatory approach to finding these opportunities.
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