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Just spoke with her friend (girl) who lives in cleveland who is meeting us and then taking her the rest of the way. woke up this morning to a text around 8 am once again saying how excited she is and that she hopes Monday and Tuesday go by fast so that we can "have some quality S and J time". the s and j being our first initials. then again the week of thanksgiving and only a 2 day week who isn't hoping those days go by fast haha!! friend and i spoke mostly about where our meeting point was going to be. friend kept repeating over and over again how nice / cool it was that i was driving her up. doesn't hurt to win over one of her friends right?
It sounds like she spoke to her friend about you and told her friend her side of the story, kind of like you have told us your side. The girl is doing most of the work here, flirting with you so much and putting out signals. You're in tricky territory given that you have to drive her back for hours and work with her, but you are going to have to do your part if you want to go out with her. I think a simple talk would be the best thing. Just say you think you guys get along well and what would she be interested in going out sometime for dinner. If she tells you she is not interested then don't react to it. I've had a couple friends say they like me and I didn't happen to like them back, but it wasn't weird because they weren't pushy and just dropped it.
I think you should be friends...that's all, I'd be slightly concerned if a woman was telling lies about your relationship already, and also discussing other guys seems to be a good signal that she's not serious about you..What do you think would happen if you quit giving her rides all the time???
I think you should be friends...that's all, I'd be slightly concerned if a woman was telling lies about your relationship already, and also discussing other guys seems to be a good signal that she's not serious about you..What do you think would happen if you quit giving her rides all the time???
well this trip is the first ride of any kind so to speak. kind of evolved out of a discussion about what the other one was doing for thanksgiving more or less. developed more so then into me making the friendly offer of giving her a lift up north. yea i mean i assume the parents and kids know she is kidding when she says the stuff she says, although shes says it so consistently and even tried to convince one of our swimmers that it was true when shed showed him a picture of her trying on maternity clothes. which she actually was which is the funniest / oddest part.
on the occasions that we get work done early and begin to talk about other things her questions always and i mean always center around my past relationships and what i'm looking for girl wise.
I agree, she's interested. How do I know? I know because I was in the EXACT SAME situation and I dropped the ball. Come to find out that she was very interested in me but I just thought she was overly friendly. Different people have different signals. Now, for the love of god, don't act nervous around her because if you do, females have this weird sense and will be turned off by you. Just play it like you've been and let things happen naturally because if she is indeed interested, something will happen during the roadtrip.
Good Luck
thanks. good to know there are others who have dealt with similar. glad to know i'm not crazy lol. and yes i know what you mean. she is as i've mentioned the very friendly type and extroverted. and like you said my goal lol is to more or less play things as i have the last few months. there to my knowledge have never been any awkward pauses in any of our convos and we both kind of share a smart a$$ / sarcastic sense of humor. its funny b/c we were talking a few nights ago and we were playfully going over the rules of the roadtrip. you know not really being serious just sarcastically throwing rules out there. one of them down the list that she brought up was no wandering hands during the drive haha. In my experience girls don't cross over to the dark side of the convo unless they really do have it on their minds. in fact there have been 2 or 3 phone conversations where it turned slightly perverted but only because she geared it that way. with that being said haha i'm treating this as any other instance where we've been together be it alone or around people. just play the good guy role and see where it leads me.
She is interested but you might have already blown it by being so wishy washy. You need to man up quick and pull the trigger. Women are attracted to men who take charge of the situation and make their intentions known. What you should do is ask her out for a drink. Also, you should start sexualizing your conversation in a playful manner. Misinterpret what she says and make her look like the pervert. Also, start initiating physical contact. Don't be afraid to drape your arm over her shoulders - this demonstrates your dominance and is very attractive. Things like playful pushing or horse play are great. If she shows even the slightest hint of pulling back, stop and freeze her out. Don't be obvious, just be distracted.
Above all, control the interaction. You must appear confidant and dominant. If she was saying she was having my baby, I would certainly suggest we get together to discuss the arrangements. You could run with that premise for a while. Tell her she must not have been any good because you don't even remember. If she hits you you said it right. Push or grab her playfully and you have initiated physical interaction which is good. Next comes some hand holding, touching face, kissing, etc...
Good luck.
lordy. this reads as rather SIMIAN.
might work for some, but if she is just being a good ol' smart mouthed female (call me crazy, but that sounds HILARIOUS that she is saying she is carrying your child) she might be interested without having the guts to follow through. i would just freaking ASK HER. i mean, just ask her! Just say straight up, because girls CRAVE THAT STUFF. seriously. anytime a guy has let me know that he is interested without being wishy washy i have thanked my lucky stars. guessing is sexy for a time but at some point you have to get DOWN to it. don't do it when either of you have been drinking, and don't do it when she has to drive ten hours. ask her out for a coffee and then pop it.
if she isnt' interested it might be a good sign for her that she needs to reign it in a little. one mustn't flirt with all and sundry. tho, male swimmers, no wonder. those arms!
...
is she interested? do i put all the cards on the table and go for it and risk creating an odd work situation especially if for whatever reason it ended up not working out?
Maybe and yes. I would not wait - what for? Besides you're only going to know the answer to the first question after you've taken the action asked in the second. Sieze the opportunity now.
~Mike <<< has waited in the past before only to be left standing...
lordy. this reads as rather SIMIAN. might work for some,
I agree--sounds like something straight out of a manual for pick-up artists, lol. I get the feeling that the lady likes our OP just fine the way he is and he showed plenty of interest by offering her a ride. A woman understands that something this delicate must be taken slowly, as long as things are moving in the right direction.
I'm also going to take the opposite position from those who think it's a disaster to date those you work with. I agree that it should be approached carefully, but the fact is, there is no better way to know what kind of person you are dealing with than to work with them--it would take so much longer to learn the things you need to know when you're just dating them in a vacuum. The things you learn by working with people are: how they deal with stress, how they deal with other people, in the OP's case, how they deal with other peoples' kids, what sort of disposition they normally have, and ultimately whether they're crazy. This is valuable info to have when you're trying to start a real relationship. If you're just looking for a FWB relationship, then don't do that at work.
ok....so here's the report from the trip up. trip down isn't until sunday.
picked her up at her apt in the morning. started driving, had the xmas music on, she bought snacks for us for the drive, etc.... normal stuff i guess. conversation was pretty typical for us i guess, casual work related topics, some personal topics, etc.... nothing mind blowing i guess. as the trip progressed though she begins to basically become her more flirtatious self whens she around me. took her sweater top off down to a tank top, had her feet on the dash most of the trip with legs apart. said she was warm and i mean it was 50ish on the drive up and only got down to low 40s by the evening. shes a car singer btw. doesnt matter the song, shes sings to it. with that being said it seemed every chance she got during a song she had her hands on me. at some points she was on her cell. she took a picture of us while i was driving and sent it to a few of our swimmers even telling them a completely opposite story about what we were doing. real story is shes hitching a ride to her home. reason shes tells our swimmers is shes going to my home to have thanksgiving with my family sort of to create the allure that we're dating. mom calls her, they chat for about 30 minutes, this was a surprise trip up so her mom had no idea shes was on her way home. during the convo shes begins complaining to her mom about some guy she had gone out with and how shes was crossing him off her list so to speak for a reason i can't recall. again why talk about other guys and dates around me? at one point in the trip shes talking to one of her gf's and begins running her fingers through my hair casually and scratching the back of my head just like it was natural for her to do. definitely went beyond any thing touchy feely shed ever done before with me. had her hand on my hand quite a few times while i was driving. basically if u were in the backseat ud a thought we'd been dating for a while. even talked at length about how she wishes she was going to the wedding i'm attending saturday with me and remarked how we'd be the cutest couple there. couple? didn't know we were dating. lol.
anyways met up with her gf who was taking her the rest of the way. after a nice 10 hour drive haha. the friend and i had spoken on the phone days earlier to set up where and when we'd we meet. so had her on her way to home, started driving myself to a buddies place that was another 2 hours away so i could crash for the night. got a text probably 90 minutes after dropping her off saying "i love you", shes said this before after i've done things for her so i just assumed it was the same thing. only replied back with making sure she was safe and that she text me when she finally gets home. got a text from her this morning saying she bought something that she thinks "i'll really like ;-)". so again i need some help here. sounds like more or less the same thing between her and i.
ok....so here's the report from the trip up. trip down isn't until sunday.
picked her up at her apt in the morning. started driving, had the xmas music on, she bought snacks for us for the drive, etc.... normal stuff i guess. conversation was pretty typical for us i guess, casual work related topics, some personal topics, etc.... nothing mind blowing i guess. as the trip progressed though she begins to basically become her more flirtatious self whens she around me. took her sweater top off down to a tank top, had her feet on the dash most of the trip with legs apart. said she was warm and i mean it was 50ish on the drive up and only got down to low 40s by the evening. shes a car singer btw. doesnt matter the song, shes sings to it. with that being said it seemed every chance she got during a song she had her hands on me. at some points she was on her cell. she took a picture of us while i was driving and sent it to a few of our swimmers even telling them a completely opposite story about what we were doing. real story is shes hitching a ride to her home. reason shes tells our swimmers is shes going to my home to have thanksgiving with my family sort of to create the allure that we're dating. mom calls her, they chat for about 30 minutes, this was a surprise trip up so her mom had no idea shes was on her way home. during the convo shes begins complaining to her mom about some guy she had gone out with and how shes was crossing him off her list so to speak for a reason i can't recall. again why talk about other guys and dates around me? at one point in the trip shes talking to one of her gf's and begins running her fingers through my hair casually and scratching the back of my head just like it was natural for her to do. definitely went beyond any thing touchy feely shed ever done before with me. had her hand on my hand quite a few times while i was driving. basically if u were in the backseat ud a thought we'd been dating for a while. even talked at length about how she wishes she was going to the wedding i'm attending saturday with me and remarked how we'd be the cutest couple there. couple? didn't know we were dating. lol.
anyways met up with her gf who was taking her the rest of the way. after a nice 10 hour drive haha. the friend and i had spoken on the phone days earlier to set up where and when we'd we meet. so had her on her way to home, started driving myself to a buddies place that was another 2 hours away so i could crash for the night. got a text probably 90 minutes after dropping her off saying "i love you", shes said this before after i've done things for her so i just assumed it was the same thing. only replied back with making sure she was safe and that she text me when she finally gets home. got a text from her this morning saying she bought something that she thinks "i'll really like ;-)". so again i need some help here. sounds like more or less the same thing between her and i.
Dude - you got the "GREEN" light. When are you going to ask her out on a DATE?
Stop waiting around.....if you're even remotely interested, GO FOR IT!!! or spend the rest of your life saying "WHAT IF"?
Looks like you are interested in her. She is interested in you no doubt about it. What could possible hold you back? many of us old dudes have a what if girl in their life. Mine went on to build a successfull business that has made her a wealthy woman. She is happily married to someone else. That is OK because I am also happily married. So it worked out. You see most guys are just blind to how a young woman works. I was and many others are as well. Women think that we are stupid. Men don't have a clue. The real deal is that we both speak a differant language. The man that becomes bi-lingual is a happy man. For many of us it takes many years to learn a new language. When it happens though life is good.
On Sunday when you drive back would you find a nice resteraunt to take her to and ask her before you take her there to go out on an official date.
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