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A few weeks back I had told my mother that I won't be over for the holidays. In recent years they have been spent at my cousin's house (who I can't stand. She is bossy and her husband is a hot headed bully.) My mother always feels she has to be nice to them because they help her do things (my mother has always been dependent on other people.)
I always feel uncomfortable and awkward going over. I don't drive and they live about a half hour away, so someone will have to meet me somewhere to pick meup and go over.
I am single,so I feel more like an outcast when I am around.
Anyway, my question is if anyone else dreads the holidays as much as I do and how do they cope? Honestly, I would much be happier being by myself than feeling "obligated" to go somewhere I won't be happy. (Shouldn't the holidays be about happiness anyway?)
Eventually you just learn to look at it as just another day. Have you explained to your mom why you don't want to get together for the holidays?
I try to, but there are times when I have a hard time talking to her because she doesn't listen. I tell her something and she forgets because she wasn't paying attention.
I'll be alone for Thanksgiving this year, so I thought that I would treat myself to a short vacation - five days scuba diving in Cozumel. It's your life, do what you want...
Amen Danbo, I will be in Las Vegas for Christmas till New Years House hunting, not gonna sit home alone drinking egg nog and listening to Christmas music (I'm a jew anyway, if jews listen to christmas music blood shoots out their ears, and they start singing in tongues!)
ugh! i feel your pain. i used to have to go with my family to my cousin's MIL's house with all of HER family! i dont know WHY!!! my cousin wanted his family with him since he had to be with his wife's family--so we all had to suffer. nice people--just BORING. they would put food restrictions on all of us, look down on anyone who wanted or didnt want to go to midnight mass, no one wanted to do anything --so we would all sit around feeling uncomfortable and looking at eachother. plus there were over 50 people crammed into two rooms cause no one was alowed to step foot in the living or dining room (white carpets).
one year i just got fed up. i had had a couple of difficult things happen and i just decided i wasnt going to have another ruined christmas just to make everyone else happy!
so my parents finally came to their senses and joined me. what a relief! never went back again.
better to have a quiet night at home and eating and doing what you want.
I'll be alone (and working) for the first time ever on Thanksgiving and Christmas because I've recently moved across the country. In my family Christmas has always been the biggest get together. Years ago it started to bum me out. I had to hear about great jobs, spouses, children and how great life was while I was alone, bitter and quite miserable. I'm glad I have an excuse not to go now. I have no problems with my family but I don't need to be reminded of what I'm missing.
Still, it's kinda depressing knowing I'll be alone and working both holidays. At least I can tap into my bottles of absinthe and gin when I get off of work.
OP, why don't YOU make dinner (or order it) and have family or friends over? Or do dinner out and go to the movies with a few family members/friends.
I may end up doing the latter.
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