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This is probably bad advice but it's the kind of person I am: I would beat the f*ck out of the other dude.You need to show that guy you aren't a p*ssy who's just gonna stand there and look sad while another dude works his game on the girl you love.
i venture a bold solution that i am sure others would disagree with. maybe you should talk to the guy. not throw him against a wall or anything, but maybe even be nice. say, hey, i know you guys were chipping a bit but i love her, and i hope you respect that, so please lay off.
Other dude DOES NOT give a CRAP about him, his feelings, or thier relationship. He already proves that. I even think there's like a 50-50 chance he doesn't give much of a crap about the girl either, he just really likes the idea of snagging someone's chick.
Ego boost! (extra points if the boyfriend tells you how much it hurts!) Yeah, don't do that.
edit: I think a lot of guys think: "if you cant keep her, it's not my job to help you." Fair enough. But if the boyfriend can take you, then that's fair too *shrug*
Time heals. Now if you can't decide if you should come back with her or not, so don't. Don't give any decision, time will tell what you should do. If you miss her alot and cannot stand that, so come back. If not, please give you a chance with someone else
It's hard to say with this one. I hope it lasts. I know a rare few people who did stay long-term with the person they dated in high school. It's unusual, but it can work out.
Here are a few key things to consider though. You two are both going to change a lot through your 20's. No matter how much you want to change in the same ways, there's no way to control how that happens. You may decide you want to become more of a homebody, to settle down. She may discover at 21 that she never indulged her wild side as a freshman and sophomore because she was always tied to you. She may regret and need that period of freedom before she can move forward with her life. You may want to travel and try new things and she may want to sit home and start having babies right away. Or, you may evolve together and want the same things. It's impossible to predict.
As to her explanation, sure, it absolutely could have happened that way. She might be too young and naive to know how to shut a guy down. It's also possible that some part of her liked the attention, liked the idea of having a choice. The two of you started dating before you were really adults... therefore your girlfriend has never gotten to make a truly adult choice about who she dates. Yes, I know she dates you every time by choice, but after you have dated for awhile, some people are so afraid of the unknown that they're more inclined to stay than they otherwise would be.
So, my advice? I would continue dating, but I would both keep my lives open. Make separate friends. Take separate classes. Enjoy your college experiences to the fullest so that no matter what happens, you will not look back on the time as having been wasted.
This is probably bad advice but it's the kind of person I am: I would beat the f*ck out of the other dude.You need to show that guy you aren't a p*ssy who's just gonna stand there and look sad while another dude works his game on the girl you love.
really? i mean, really? so you are gonna get yourself thrown in jail to prove how much of a man you are? are you like one of those guys in gummo taking the kitchen chairs and beating them on the floor to show them who is boss? jail would probably change your mind about what being a "man" is. and also, what being a "p&$$y" is.
Me and my girlfriend have been going through some rough times recently and I was just curious what somebody removed from the situation thought about things...
We have been dating for almost three years now since high school, and have gone with each other to college. Since we've been together, there has been some fighting and what not, but we have both been very happy.
Going into our 2nd year of college though some things changed. As we took different classes we began to spent more and more time apart, and it became but harder to do things together with the course load. When we would spend what little time we did have together, we would be somewhat distance, only making things worse.
About two months ago we had a very long talk one night and contemplated taking a short "break" to think about things, but once we both realized what that meant we put the idea behind us.
Since that has happened though, I noticed her spending more and more time with this one guy from her classes, but not being a very jealous person I only looked at him as her study partner. The more I saw them together though, the more I worried and hoped that there wasn't something else going on.
I was going to meet her one day, and as I was walking up to her I notice him leaving, and it was really starting to get to me! When she got up to go to the bathroom (and this is something that I have not or would normally not ever do unless I felt like I had to) I checked her phone. The first message I saw was what I never thought I would have to see. They had been saying things to such as calling each other "baby", and "how happy she makes him", and he said "I love you" numerous times, though she never said it back.
When she came back from the bathroom I immediately confronted her about it and she bursted into tears. To keep a long story short, she said that they had become friends through her class and that he had been trying for more. Outside of what I read in the messages, she said that they had kissed, but that it went no further and it only happened one time. After that time she told me that it made her realize what she was doing, and she regretted it terribly.
We broke up, but after several days of painful silence, we got together to talk about things.
She had told me that she had become so caught up in the lie that she didn't even realize what she was doing, and was a completely different person around this guy, and hated it. Though she wasn't forced into anything, she said that she had felt manipulated at a time where our relationship was on the rocks. After I asked her, she said that she does not and never loved him on any level, she was just confused and didn't know how to stop it. At the end of the discussion, she said that she wanted me back, and that this made her realize how much she really loved me. Its so hard for me to forget about what I saw and heard, but I told her that I wanted to make things work and try again.
All in all, this truly is the girl that I 'still' see myself having a life with and marrying someday after college. It just kills me to think about what happened, and I just don't know if I'm making the right decision to get back together with her and still have these thoughts of marriage and what not.
Since all this has happened, we really have been happier than we have been in a long time, though I do get quite stressed sometimes when the thought comes into my head. I believe in second chances, and feel that moving past something like this will only make our relationship that much stronger because we know what its like to be without each other, and can appreciate it that much more. I'm only 20 right now, so may be immature to some of you, but I would really like to hear what others think.
Thanks
You are young..she and others may break your heart, Life is a learning lesson and yet yours is to be learned.
Dont be surprised if she finds love somewhere else.
Just take what you have learned from your relationship and keep those memories with you always, it'll help you in the future.
really? i mean, really? so you are gonna get yourself thrown in jail to prove how much of a man you are? are you like one of those guys in gummo taking the kitchen chairs and beating them on the floor to show them who is boss? jail would probably change your mind about what being a "man" is. and also, what being a "p&$$y" is.
I'm female. And I just don't think whining at the other dude is going to do anything, but standing up for himself and his relationship might scare the other dude off.
Really? I mean really? Do you think the other dude cares how the boyfriend feels? If he did, he wouldn't be flirting with and saying I love you to his girlfriend. That's pretty much as uncaring and disrespectful and you can get
Break the other guy's jaw... as for your own gf she's equally guilty. You can let her prove to you that she's changed but I would keep an open eye for future shenanigans. Also I'd make damn well sure that she didn't sleep with the other guy.
Uhhh... as I think I stated in similar topics before.... If my GF would kiss another guy... I would break up with her and never date her again in my life.... even if I love her very much. She kissed him ???? She called him "baby" That is not something you do out of confusion like she said.... she knew what she was doing... you cought her and now she's trying to cover her ass by saying "I was confused and didn't know how to stop it". She sould have told you... the moment the other guy started hitting on her. She didn't do that. :| She went behind your back with something like this. I would break up with her.... forever. The blaim is equal between this other dude and you GF.
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Time is the best answer
She called him "baby" 
That is not something you do out of confusion like she said.... she knew what she was doing... you cought her and now she's trying to cover her ass by saying "I was confused and didn't know how to stop it". She sould have told you... the moment the other guy started hitting on her. She didn't do that. :| She went behind your back with something like this. I would break up with her.... forever. 
