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Maybe the guy is with a 19 year old because she is cute and fun. Maybe cute and fun is what he's in he mood for, after being with a woman for 9 years who would not marry him, even though he asked several times. Maybe he doesn't want something heavy right now, after being dumped by a woman who fell for another man.
Yes, it stings when you see the ex having a good time with someone cute, but that's life. I just don't see anything on this thread so far which indicates he's a bad guy.
Yep. After being crushed the way he was, I can understand his need for something lite and airy. 17 to 22 years olds are perfect for that. No nagging or sizing you up to see how you stack up. They're refreshing.
That's not any more dignified than a 37-year-old male seeking ego and other kinds of stroking from a 19-year-old female.
Anybody with any sort of self determination won't care what others think is dignified or not anyway. If I met a 19 or 20 year old tommorrow and we gel I wouldn't care what you thought. Gossip away.......
If you want to discuss the % of it being a relationship working out fine, but you can't call the guy who was single a immoral guy because......
Let's not forget none of this would have happened if she had not dumped him to begin with because she said she thought she had found someone else and later regretted the decision and now it stings even worse because he draws competition.
I am sure that many men are stroking something but am sure it isn't an ego. I am a man and work with a dozen men and when a guy is checking out or even dating a much younger girl it is not an ego that they are stroking. They want sex and they want it with a young lady. Nothing wrong with that if you can pull it off. Not all guys can, or like me are married and don't have the desire to end a good thing.
you just need to realize that if thats what he wants from his life, let him have it...there are so many guys out there that are better suited to you...let him have his midlife crisis, mental immaturity or whatever it is going through his head...
you go and BE HAPPY!
dont dwell on this guy...
Exactly.
A few people have mentioned regret. OP, just think of everything that led up to the break-up: The sexual boredom, the non-communication, the fact that something told you not to marry this guy. Now add that to the juvenile way he's handling the break-up now. I've noticed that many men have a tendency to rebound right into another relationship. They seem to use it as a distraction from the pain of the break-up. Women do that sometimes, too, but I see it more with men. However, most people, male or female, manage to do it without being so transparent and looking so silly.
Is that worth fretting over? I think not. That is what I meant when I said his behavior is no longer your concern. I'm sure some people saw that as me trying to smack you down for dumping the guy, but what I mean is, his LOUSY behavior is no longer your concern. You're free of this guy. You may still have lingering feelings for him, but those will pass. Dumper's remorse is usually nothing but rose-colored glasses.
You weren't getting what you needed out of your relationship with him. That's why the other guy caught and held your attention. I've been there. Rather than cheat and start up a whole relationship with the other guy, you were honest, and that led to your break-up. I've been there, too. So far, you're the one leaving the relationship with your dignity and integrity intact. Don't lose either of them by fretting over a man who, judging from the way he's handling it, is a dolt.
Yep. After being crushed the way he was, I can understand his need for something lite and airy. 17 to 22 years olds are perfect for that. No nagging or sizing you up to see how you stack up. They're refreshing.
I'm not going into your claims about "nagging" but, I think we women aren't empathetic about how men feel about going through a breakup. The op's ex probably went through a lot of pain, pain which is discounted over the age of his current date (and that's why the op mentioned the new gal's age, to get more sympathy.) He wanted to marry the OP, but she rejected him for someone else... after 9 years! This is painful stuff! If he wants to have fun with a young gal to get over the pain, so be it. The OP hurt him *brutally* - she does not get to dictate how he copes and moves on. And that is the anger about this thread: he is coping in a manner of which she does not approve.
You have nothing to worry about. I can assure you that this fling with the 19 year old will not last.
Good riddance to the 37 year old pedophile.
He did you a huge favor. Imagine what type of father material he would make.
Don't list to negativity and focus on the positive that you know you are worth me and deserve someone decent who will know he hit lotto when he married you.
The girl is NINETEEN not NINE. You are an adult at 18.He is not a pedophile.
Once people begin a sentence with "you really need to" when I didn't ask for their advice, I stop reading. That goes double for men whose opinions strike me as those of a sexist going through a middle-age crisis, themselves.
You didn't read it, but you are responding anyway. You speak of men's opinions, but you are not sexist(what ever this means). You are offering advice, but you don't feel the need to defend it. That strikes me as the kind of person who might give bad advice.
Quote:
That's not any more dignified than a 37-year-old male seeking ego and other kinds of stroking from a 19-year-old female.
This is about your ego. You don't liking being told you are wrong. The point stands. You don't know what you are talking about. Its nothing personal, but you have no idea why men like younger women.
Some of you are accusing the guy of having a mid life crisis because he hooked up with a chick that is 19. What he really is having is a heart break crisis.
I can't speak for all guys but I can find a 40 something chick as hot or hotter than a 20 year old but then again if I happen to hook up with a 20 year old and it clicks so be it also.
Doesn't matter if it is his ego, or just sex lust or it may turn into a long term relationship it is his deal. He didn't dump his long term to go chasing 20 year old skirts, if he did that then maybe there would be a basis to call him a dawg.
I get the feeling his first loyalty is to his drums anyway so I know his mindset.
The average age of a Playboy model is 22. Though at the newsstand, one can ask for "Male Ego Magazine", and you can get your copy just the same. Whenever I tell my friends I fondled myself to MILFs, they just don't seem as impressed.
I can't speak for all guys but I can find a 40 something chick as hot or hotter than a 20 year old but then again if I happen to hook up with a 20 year old and it clicks so be it also.
I feel the same way, especially if the 40+ is in good shape and has her sh*t together.
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