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I have the same problem except that I'm much older. The answer is obvious even though I don't seem to have the common sense to follow through with it. You have to do completely new things and make an effort to become engaged in activities where you're likely to meet new people. If your behavior is isolating you from the rest of society then this situation is just going to continue and probably get worse as you get older if you continue in this path. I know it's kind of pathetic that the advice that I'm trying to give to you is exactly what I should be listening to myself but you're young enough that you can certainly turn things around. I wish you good luck.
You have to force yourself. I'm only a couple of years older than you, but I've moved alot over the last several years and while I have friends all over the country I have to continually make new friends in the new cities I move.
I have a good friend in my current city but I want to expand my friendzone. I do get out with him and I've met some people but I realize that you have to make a strong effort. Sometimes this takes planning and understanding how you feel comfortable interacting.
This has been bothering me for a while now. I'm in my mid-20's. I have a very good paying job with decent benefits and a bright future career ahead. I'm a college graduate. I have no debt and have plenty of spending money after each paycheck. The only problem is, I have no friends in my life and no significant other. I've had this problem since my early college years when I slowly grew apart from my high school buddies. I hardly ever have anyone to hang out with. I feel so awkward going to bars by myself in order to meet people. As a result, I've become somewhat of a workaholic/career-oriented type that spends a lot of their extra time training themselves further in the field to stay ahead or just do things on my own because I have no one to hang out with. I work with a bunch of older people who are married and have children. I am in an engineering field, so the only women who are in my office are either married or significantly older than me.
I live by myself in an apartment and I live far away from my family. I fly back to see them once in a while but other then that I just never know what to do during the evenings or weekends. I am extremely extroverted and outgoing if I meet the right people. That's what I have noticed about myself. Otherwise, I just tend to be reserved and feel like I can't relate to them. I've tried meeting people online. While I've dated around and have had periods where I would hang out with someone every week or so, for the most part I still find myself completely alone with no best friend or even anyone to share my very personal feelings and thoughts with. I used to suffer from a ton of social anxiety and depression and while I am lot better than I ever was before, I still feel both of those things to a lighter extent. I feel more depressed than socially anxious these days though. I've been prescribed to some anti-depressants but I think they are just alleviating the social anxiety a bit.
I feel like as a result of all of this, I feel so far behind in life. I don't have friends to go on trips with, hardly ever dated around, and in general just feel inexperienced with life. I have no idea how to get myself out of this funk. I've been trying to push myself to try new things and break some habits of mine, but I still can't help but feel like I have a really long way to go until I can recover from all of this. It's like trying to catch up after living under a rock for so long. Whenever I see a young couple holding hands, I get this stabbing feeling in my heart. It's like "take that, this is what you could have had by now if you weren't going through all of that other stuff before..." I'm 5' 7", pretty thin, and have never had a problem with my looks. I used to think I was ugly just like anyone else, but that phase ended a very long time ago for me.
Anyway, I just wanted people to listen and also if anyone can understand what I am feeling, then I would love to hear from you too. I think hearing similar troubles from other people would do me a lot of good right now. Happy Thanksgiving!
I appreciate your candor at sharing this. Ive often felt the same way as you during periods of my life. I think a good goal is to shoot for balance between work, family, friends, church, hobbies, etc.... What i found personally , is, when i started going to church I made very good meaningful friendships of the same and opposite sex combined with growing in God. Many larger local churches who have a Singles Adult Ministry might be something to look into as they often do a good variety of social activities . I hope things will improve for you in the area of making good friends.
Wow, you're young, independent, successful, debt free...and you're far behind? I don't think you realize how fortunate you really are: Most women would consider you the perfect package.
Also, there may be other guys out there who may think they're behind. Some may have had goals, but haven't accomplished what you have because they made poor choices, have excess debt, or haven't secured as good a job, etc., and wish they had money left over after paying bills, student loans, child support, etc.
It's fine if you want a relationship and friends, but don't assume finding another person/other people will necessarily "complete" you. You still would need to be content with yourself, too: otherwise, you can't expect to be happy in any relationship if you're not happy with yourself first.
I think while it's fine to go out and socialize, focus on what you still have: it's usually when you're not really looking, when you really find someone.
Not only do I feel far behind, I also feel like I am dead, just going thru the basic motions of life.
37, working the same dead-end job for 16 years because they like me too much to fire me, though some day that will not be enough. Basically the exact same person I am when I was 14, except looking and feeling older.
Wow, you're young, independent, successful, debt free...and you're far behind? I don't think you realize how fortunate you really are: Most women would consider you the perfect package
Seems like younger women these days are after something else. Maybe I just haven't told enough women all of that? I don't know. I just don't buy that based on my experiences so far.
Seems like younger women these days are after something else. Maybe I just haven't told enough women all of that? I don't know. I just don't buy that based on my experiences so far.
You might think that way now, but if these women are still singe in their 30s and beyond, while men look for younger women, then they'll complain why they couldn't find a good man....
Don't let that frustrate you. I think most younger women are usually still trying to figure out what they want. (and I say that as someone in that age group). The smart, mature women will realize your worth.
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Wow, you're young, independent, successful, debt free...and you're far behind? 
I don't think you realize how fortunate you really are: Most women would consider you the perfect package.
