U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-25-2010, 11:31 AM
 
1,296 posts, read 2,108,318 times
Reputation: 646

Advertisements

In the late nineteenth century, it was common for two unmarried women to share a home. Many women, particularly those who were college educated, lived in long-term unions with other women. These relationships became known as "Boston Marriages." Some of those Boston Marriages, had a romantic and/or sexual component to them. But, many of these Boston Marriages, were strictly platonic.

With the cost of housing being so high, as well as the divorce rate, will more women who are in close friendships, platonic or not, set up house together, in a kind of modern form of the Boston Marriage?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-25-2010, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
10,796 posts, read 15,031,121 times
Reputation: 12364
Quote:
Originally Posted by artwomyn View Post
In the late nineteenth century, it was common for two unmarried women to share a home. Many women, particularly those who were college educated, lived in long-term unions with other women. These relationships became known as "Boston Marriages." Some of those Boston Marriages, had a romantic and/or sexual component to them. But, many of these Boston Marriages, were strictly platonic.

With the cost of housing being so high, as well as the divorce rate, will more women who are in close friendships, platonic or not, set up house together, in a kind of modern form of the Boston Marriage?
...plenty of friends of both genders get apartments together and then proceed to share financial resources, especially in expensive cities like SF, NYC, LA, Boston, etc.

Hell, I shared an apartment with a female friend, and the only thing lacking from a relationship between us was the romantic/sexual element. Literally everything else could have been a marriage, from us getting a dog together and referring to it as "our dog," to distribution of domestic duties and near-spousal level support with work, school, etc. It was a nice experience.

Perhaps the term could make a comeback - I doubt it, because it would be acknowledging that the arrangement was somewhat like a marriage - but the practice itself has been quite normal for a very long time.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 12:31 PM
 
280 posts, read 333,202 times
Reputation: 401
Default Fraternities and Sororities as a model for adult life?

I had been thinking for some time that it could be reasonable for people who are not marriage-oriented to live in all-male or all-female households, kind of like fraternities and sororities. You could still have relationships with the opposite sex, even long-term relationships. There's no law of nature saying a couple has to live under the same roof. I'm not saying everyone should do this, just that some people might feel more comfortable this way. I think it would be particularly good for people who don't want kids.

It might also work for people who want kids. For example, one or more male households could form a cooperative with one or more female households, sharing responsibilities. Of course, this idea would be hard to implement in today's world because society in general, and family law in particular, would have a hard time adapting to this model. But I think it could work (i.e., as well or maybe sometimes better than the marriage model, which is somewhat broken if you take a look).

Perhaps some people will say this idea is weird. But if marriage had not yet been invented and I suggested it, then people would also say that's weird.

Also, I'm not suggesting that people should never grow up. Frats aren't just about beer parties, they also do community service and such. I'm just saying that it's another kind of social unit, with its own advantages and disadvantages, and could be preferable for some.

So I'd say yes, the Boston Marriage is worth considering, for some.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 83,618,326 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by artwomyn View Post
In the late nineteenth century, it was common for two unmarried women to share a home. Many women, particularly those who were college educated, lived in long-term unions with other women. These relationships became known as "Boston Marriages." Some of those Boston Marriages, had a romantic and/or sexual component to them. But, many of these Boston Marriages, were strictly platonic.

With the cost of housing being so high, as well as the divorce rate, will more women who are in close friendships, platonic or not, set up house together, in a kind of modern form of the Boston Marriage?
I wouldn't be too surprised... I'm also pretty sure most of these arrangements didn't include a lesbian relationship. It was just an easier way to survive financially and it provided companionship. As a matter of fact, interest in communal living does seem to be on the rise today in general. Trends come and go... This society has been individualistic for quite some time and many are not happy with the results. Granted, many have also tried/have been encouraged to replace human company with animals, but perhaps that's not working all that great. Being totally tired of dealing with the opposite sex is also something I can't say I can't relate to, though.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,011 posts, read 27,660,816 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by artwomyn View Post
In the late nineteenth century, it was common for two unmarried women to share a home. Many women, particularly those who were college educated, lived in long-term unions with other women. These relationships became known as "Boston Marriages." Some of those Boston Marriages, had a romantic and/or sexual component to them. But, many of these Boston Marriages, were strictly platonic.

With the cost of housing being so high, as well as the divorce rate, will more women who are in close friendships, platonic or not, set up house together, in a kind of modern form of the Boston Marriage?
If they take a male room mate, I'm all up for it
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,350 posts, read 19,252,368 times
Reputation: 15443
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
If they take a male room mate, I'm all up for it
I've always said it would be a great arrangement for women with children so they could trade off babysitting and all. So I propose that a couple of you ladies take AC up on his offer and make him the designated babysitter.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,011 posts, read 27,660,816 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I've always said it would be a great arrangement for women with children so they could trade off babysitting and all. So I propose that a couple of you ladies take AC up on his offer and make him the designated babysitter.
Babysitting
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,350 posts, read 19,252,368 times
Reputation: 15443
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Babysitting
On the other hand. Not my children.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 03:29 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 6,144,278 times
Reputation: 3005
It sounds very practical. Factoring in food stamps and welfare, two ladies with a couple of kids each could do quite well. In fact, I think some women don't marry the father of their children for this reason.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2010, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
33,331 posts, read 54,689,359 times
Reputation: 23936
It does not sound too different from marriage
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:58 PM.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top