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Old 12-27-2010, 10:21 AM
 
Location: 112 Ocean Avenue
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Most American couples unfaithful

How many here have not fully disclosed their finances to their S.O., just so they'll have some getaway money in the event their spouse cracks their PW and reads what they've written here?
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Old 12-27-2010, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
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I don't have any hidden finances. My husband and I share everything and are both 100% aware of what the other has purchased/what account balances are/where bonuses go/etc.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by think first View Post
Most American couples unfaithful

How many here have not fully disclosed their finances to their S.O., just so they'll have some getaway money in the event their spouse cracks their PW and reads what they've written here?
I don't, but maybe I should ....

I'm a saver but my husband has always known about my accounts. However, he was convinced, at one time, that I was hiding money. When we split up, he kept insisting that I had other accounts when I didn't.

I think we both fudge a little on what we spend week to week. We have kind of a don't ask don't tell policy. Most weeks we're pretty good but I know I screw up ever few weeks. I'm pretty sure he does too. He pays his own charge card bill so I don't know what's on it each month.
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Old 12-27-2010, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
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Welll...when one spouse controls the checkbook/finances, it is easy to 'fudge" a bit. I have done a little of that with the cost/frequency of riding lessons. I used to train on one of my instructor's schoolmaster(s) (dressage) and it wasn't cheap, in addition to the cost of board for my boy, who was trained up to 3rd level. I think he knew I was hedging a bit on the monthly cost of my hobby.

He would laugh and tell his friends of this image in his head about my hobby - standing over a bonfire, peeling off $20 dollar bills and throwing them into the fire.
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Old 12-27-2010, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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I absolutely disclosed my debt-to-income ratio, credit history, balance on student loan, and current and likely future salary to my boyfriend as soon as we got serious and began discussing cohabiting and things like buying a home.

No point in not having all that on the table with somebody with whom you intend to build a life. As a finance professional, he had a lot of useful perspective regarding my financials, as well. I'd have been stupid to not be open with him about all things financial.
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Old 12-27-2010, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
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All of our money goes into one co-banking account. I don't think about or worry about money we have! If I'm thinking about buying something online with a credit card, I simply discuss it with my wife before I buy. She does the same with me (discuss before buying). I think part of this Thread's title "Most American Couples" is mainly talking about the young generation, not folks like us in their early 60's!
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:20 PM
 
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Easy solution: have each person in the relationship, have separate/individual bank accounts.

Why should one partner, have a claim or feel entitled to the other's bank account (assuming, both partners are working?) Provided that bills are paid for of course, why not let each partner, just do what s/he wants, with his or her money?

Never understood, quite how some people in relationships, feel like they can tell their partner what to do, with the money the partner makes, on his or her own?
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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We maintain our own accounts, and we jointly contribute to household expenses with these funds. How we spend/save the rest is up to us as individuals. We are both forthcoming about what we spend, however. No subterfuge (with the exception of being closemouthed about gift expenditures, etc. until after the holiday).
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Old 12-27-2010, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 15,105,574 times
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My first husband had no sense of responsibility with bills. It went through his fingers like water, and he regarded his checkbooks as always having money. Without going into anymore detail, this was what primarily killed our marriage. I saw it coming for a few years, so I started to literally hide $ in a sock. Some were birthday and Christmas money from my family, others were $1 and $5 added when I had it. When it was time to call it quits I had over $900 in that sock, and it helped me out when I needed to move. Had I tried to save any money for me, or even us, he would have found other ways to blow it.

I don't regret it one damn bit.

Totally different matter with my current hubby.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:27 AM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,758,180 times
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id advocate keeping separate finances and being clear on who pays for what. Mixing your finances can get sticky (with power battles) for many. It really depends on the relationship but i think separate finances works the best. (and of course encourage proper saving for retirement early on)
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