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I wanted to ask you guys (and gals) some questions. Right now I am a 22 year old male college student, but will graduate this semester. I'm the type of person that works hard at anything I involve myself in. I have ambitions of being a business owner/entrepreneur and plan to get a job out of college where I could get some real life experience on how a business is ran; specifically an entry level/management trainee type of job. Usually these types of jobs require one to put in alot of hours of work, as in 55-60 hours a week, plus weekends. However I have no problem with that; I am aware that people who are entrepreneurial and ambitious work alot.
My main concern is with a relationship. From talking with other people who are business owners and entrepreneurs (specifically men in their 40s and 50s), they admit that due to work they don't always spend enough time with their wife and children (most of them are married). They usually say that they try to find the right balance between work life and family life; but they also admit that they have a tendency to tilt more towards work than family. I am a bachelor with no children as of now, but I do see a relationship/marriage as a good thing. However, I feel as if my long work hours may negatively effect any relationship I involve myself in.
Thus, I wanted to know you guys experience. Are there any men on here who work alot and are in a relationship? Are there any women who have workaholic boyfriends/husbands? Do you have friends, family, or associates who are in the particular scenarios I am presenting? If so, how have you seen yourself and/or others cope with the negatives that come with being involved with a workaholic?
I wanted to ask you guys (and gals) some questions. Right now I am a 22 year old male college student, but will graduate this semester. I'm the type of person that works hard at anything I involve myself in. I have ambitions of being a business owner/entrepreneur and plan to get a job out of college where I could get some real life experience on how a business is ran; specifically an entry level/management trainee type of job. Usually these types of jobs require one to put in alot of hours of work, as in 55-60 hours a week, plus weekends. However I have no problem with that; I am aware that people who are entrepreneurial and ambitious work alot.
My main concern is with a relationship. From talking with other people who are business owners and entrepreneurs (specifically men in their 40s and 50s), they admit that due to work they don't always spend enough time with their wife and children (most of them are married). They usually say that they try to find the right balance between work life and family life; but they also admit that they have a tendency to tilt more towards work than family. I am a bachelor with no children as of now, but I do see a relationship/marriage as a good thing. However, I feel as if my long work hours may negatively effect any relationship I involve myself in.
Thus, I wanted to know you guys experience. Are there any men on here who work alot and are in a relationship? Are there any women who have workaholic boyfriends/husbands? Do you have friends, family, or associates who are in the particular scenarios I am presenting? If so, how have you seen yourself and/or others cope with the negatives that come with being involved with a workaholic?
Thanks for any comments.
i was a workaholic but i joined W/A, got a sponsor and worked the steps. the toughest part was admitting that i was powerless over the disease, but once i did that things went pretty well. i'm down to working 20 hours a week now and my sponsor says if i really turn things over to my higher power i could possibly be unemployed by the end of the month. obviously the goal is welfare and hopefully converting to lifetime disability benefits but that could take a while. it's a tough monkey to get off your back but hopefully once you get out of college you'll be able to control your use of work and just use it to support yourself. good luck.
I think you need to find a mate that is not needy of a ton of attention. Someone who is confident (not insecure, worried that you don't love her enough, or that you're cheating because you don't spend a lot of time with her). Someone who can find meaningful ways of spending her time apart form you.
I have had relationships with guys who could not handle not being at the center of my life...Those who could not understand why I didn't want to sit around and chat or whisper sweet nothings over the phone when they called me at work. Or someone who would get resentful because I worked till 7pm and didn't rush home to spend time with him.
If you find a woman who is also devoted to her career, that might be a decent balance, since she won't be pining away for you every minute you're working late.
But if one partner needs a lot of attention, and the other has a need to put attention outside of the relationship, conflicts always ensue. Neither person is wrong; they're just in different.
Best to be honest from the start, somehow putting this message into your own words:
"Something you need to know about me is that I'm really motivated to build my career, and I spend a lot of time working...I need to be with someone who understands that, and doesn't get hurt by that and take it personally... I want to be a good provider for my future family (which I hope includes you) and I know that this requires me to sacrifice when I'm young and newer in my career. I also know that I'll need a healthy balance and not totally neglect my personal life & relationships, so you need to let me know if you think I'm neglecting you, and I'll make an effort to take some time off to spend together..."
You will meet some women who think they can handle this, but end up becoming more high-maintenance, but you'll also meet some who really will like that fact that you are so driven, motivated, and responsible.
I am a 24 year old male, and I work between 65-80 hours/week, depending on the week. I am dating a girl who works as much as I do, so the relationship works out great. Personally, I don't see why working 60 hours/week would ever be a problem. I won't neglect family, or skip going out with friends for work, but if I have the choice between sitting there mindlessly watching TV or doing something productive, I would absolutely chose to work. Just find a woman who feels the same way you do, some people (men and women) enjoy their jobs and actually WANT to put in extra time. To me, if I work from 7am-10pm mon-thurs, 7-4 on friday and saturday, I feel that still gives me plenty of time friday night, saturday night and all day sunday to hang out with friends, see family, etc. Working more than 40 hours/week is not an evil thing, just find someone who feels the same as you.
My suggestion, date a med student/doctor. Many contracts for doctors start at 65 hours/week, so that would fit your lifestyle perfectly
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