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I think it was just a weird blip. I'm on a dating site and go to meetups so I've met several people that way. It's not likely to last, lol, so I'll enjoy it while it does. A couple were men I'd known for while but I was waiting to date until I was ready.
BTW--I always pay my own way on the first date.
ohh gotcha, that would make sense then.
maybe cuz of my age, men won't let me pay. oh well, but I always at least offer and I always have cash on me.
Dating a lot of people will just get you more STDs. People won't take you seriously other than for a quick hump.
^^ This is what I was referring to - judgmental just a tad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dweet
If a woman is looking for a relationship and is a serial dater, it probably means she has a nasty personality, a huge list of demands or some other bad trait. It wouldn't take THAT long for a normal person to find someone to be with.
Really now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
LOL.....as another wise poster on another thread says...MYOB goes both ways, now....doesn't it?
Oh....incidentally....if you don't want anyone to get IN your business?.....Don't post your business on a public Internet forum and ask people's opinions on it! Just saaayin'!
I wasn't asking for opinions on anything personal; I was offering commentary on the incredibly narrow-minded comments from other posters. The OP did ask for opinions and she is getting them.
I find it incredible that people who post one day that their life is ruined because of an embarrassing scene can come back the next day with a question that is passing judgment on the behavior of others: serial daters is desperation (paraphrased).
I think MYOB is not only appropriate in this case, but a very mild rebuke.
What do you chicks do to improve your attitude whenever you can't tell the difference in a guy who is comfortable with women being themselves and guys who like to stereotype and use single syllable words?
I ask because most women have more practice dealing with more people on a more consistent basis.
^^ This is what I was referring to - judgmental just a tad.
Really now.
I wasn't asking for opinions on anything personal; I was offering commentary on the incredibly narrow-minded comments from other posters.The OP did ask for opinions and she is getting them.
I find it incredible that people who post one day that their life is ruined because of an embarrassing scene can come back the next day with a question that is passing judgment on the behavior of others: serial daters is desperation (paraphrased).
I think MYOB is not only appropriate in this case, but a very mild rebuke.
We are in agreement here then. I think that MY ...MYOB is appropriate as well. People have thier own ideas and viewpoints to share. When you post on a public forum, you're going to get all kinds of responses. I'll be honest, I've been known to get my panties in a wad over posts a time or two and I'm quite sure I've played a part in bunching other's panties as well. Que sera sera.....that's the way it is.
What do you chicks do to improve your attitude whenever you can't tell the difference in a guy who is comfortable with women being themselves and guys who like to stereotype and use single syllable words?
I ask because most women have more practice dealing with more people on a more consistent basis.
What do you mean, what do we do? As for myself...I'm just ME....always have been. Why play games, man? Good heavens, life's way too short for that. People change over time (hopefully). Who you are today, may not be who you are in 6 months! Life events and experiences can change you. If you have issues which need to be straightened out, straighten them out. If something's not working, don't expect the world to bend to your every whim....you may have to make some changes.
Be yourself....as I said, it's what I do....what I've always done. For a lot of guys, that was too much,when I was younger. I've never been really great at saying what someone else wanted to hear. If they didn't like my view on things, or like the way I was...well, they were looking for a different type of person...someone who "fit" them better. That's perfectly acceptable. I didn't actively LOOK for anyone. I went about my business, working toward my future, bettering myself every day (usually!), and bam! my man just showed up in my life. I stayed true to myself and hey, he loved me exactly the way I was. Nearly 30 years later, we're still best buds who make each other smile, laugh, deep sighs of contentment...and an occasional spat now and then!
The thing of it is...he was always "himself" with me. I was always "myself" with him. No surprises, eh?
I don't even get the term "serial dating". If you have the opportunity to meet and go have fun with many people, get to know a lot of new people better, what's wrong with that? I know it might make me sound like a prude (as if I care), but folks shouldn't be out there having sex on their first dates anyway. Also, why is it considered a date, if two people go have a bite to eat, a drink, see a movie, etc. with each other? I simply don't understand why 2 people can't just have FUN together, without a "committment" being expected of either one!
I think, if more people forgot the term "dating", and simply were able to ask someone, "Hey, have you tried the new restaurant that just opened"?, "Have you seen that new Nicholas Cage movie that's on at the cinema"?, "I was thinking of going....do you want to come?", life would be a whole lot easier. If you're the kind of person who'd only do something like that, IF you were expecting something to form out of it, or expecting the evening to end up in bed, you've got some serious social problems, IMHO.
If you mesh with this person, had a great time, and want to do it again, fine...but it's "expectations" that end up causing all the problems. If you're jealous, because someone else gets more dates than you...jeez, get over it, maybe no one wants to spend time hanging out with you BECAUSE you have poor social skills or simply don't ASK!
This should be given out instead of diplomas to all graduating high school students. It took me a little longer than that to learn it. I was probably in my mid '20's before I learned what you said so well. The minute that I no longer had a desire to OWN anybody, was the minute that I was no longer possessive and therefore no longer jealous and truth is, it's when women were more likely to give themselves to me and "dating" became fun. To both guys and girls who are having trouble getting on with the opposite sex, as much as you need love; we all do. Relax, have fun, make a friend, and you will get luckier, a lot more often, and it will be painless. When you adopt this mindset and approach the worst that can happen is you will make another friend and sooner or later you will fall in love because you will stop scaring everybody away. For all the guys on here that wonder why girls always go for jerks, one reason is that they don't try so hard.
This should be given out instead of diplomas to all graduating high school students. It took me a little longer than that to learn it. I was probably in my mid '20's before I learned what you said so well. The minute that I no longer had a desire to OWN anybody, was the minute that I was no longer possessive and therefore no longer jealous and truth is, it's when women were more likely to give themselves to me and "dating" became fun. To both guys and girls who are having trouble getting on with the opposite sex, as much as you need love; we all do. Relax, have fun, make a friend, and you will get luckier, a lot more often, and it will be painless. When you adopt this mindset and approach the worst that can happen is you will make another friend and sooner or later you will fall in love because you will stop scaring everybody away. For all the guys on here that wonder why girls always go for jerks, one reason is that they don't try so hard.
Thanks Mr. Humble...I wish more people felt the way you do. I made a big mistake (?)...got married young, divorced young and had no plans of entering into a committed relationship after it.
I did, however, still very much enjoy to company of the opposite sex. Not for sex....just hanging out, having a good time, going to movies, playing baseball....just getting out of a small town and heading to the big city, just friends hanging out because we enjoyed each other's company. I don't think a "relationship" ever entered my friends' minds, you know. If it did, they never complicated our friendship by saying so. We loved each other....I mean, really loved each other, but not in a sexual way. They had other women for that purpose...we had truly platonic relationships and I learned more about men from those male friends than I ever would have in a committed/ownership relationship.
maybe cuz of my age, men won't let me pay. oh well, but I always at least offer and I always have cash on me.
I always head them off before we get there and explain that I'll pay my way the first time (most of these are coffee dates). If I didn't, they'd probably insist on paying, but if it's just a little date, it's a painless way to get to know someone well enough to know if you want to go again, and then I don't feel bad about not going next time if I paid my way. I have enjoyed all of them--felt like I made a friend even if I don't see them again. If it's someone I didn't connect with date-wise but they're nice, then I sort of keep them in the back of my mind in case I have a friend who's looking for a date b/c I'm a matchmaker at heart.
I always head them off before we get there and explain that I'll pay my way the first time (most of these are coffee dates). If I didn't, they'd probably insist on paying, but if it's just a little date, it's a painless way to get to know someone well enough to know if you want to go again, and then I don't feel bad about not going next time if I paid my way. I have enjoyed all of them--felt like I made a friend even if I don't see them again. If it's someone I didn't connect with date-wise but they're nice, then I sort of keep them in the back of my mind in case I have a friend who's looking for a date b/c I'm a matchmaker at heart.
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing! As you said, it's a painless way of getting to know someone, and yes, there's no guilt if you paid for yourself. I mean, I look at it this way....if a female acquaintance asked me if I wanted to go see a movie, or go get something to eat, I wouldn't expect her to pay for mine!! If she said, "Hey! Let's go get something to eat.....my treat!" I'd expect her to pay...kinda what "my treat" means. Why on earth would I expect anything different from someone based on their gender!
You know what really gets me about some women...and yeah, a gal speaking here! What really torks me is when I hear women complaining about not being treated as an equal, not being taken seriously, being treated like "the weaker sex", and yet many of those same women EXPECT men to treat them "special" because they're women! You let a guy treat many of these women like "one of the guys" and OMG! it's the most appalling thing in the world!
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People change over time (hopefully). Who you are today, may not be who you are in 6 months! Life events and experiences can change you. If you have issues which need to be straightened out, straighten them out. If something's not working, don't expect the world to bend to your every whim....you may have to make some changes.
