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Old 01-10-2011, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 19,976,723 times
Reputation: 8668

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
A maybe can be a yes or a no, so I agree with you there. But a no is a no.
But then a "yes" can also be a "maybe"...

...and a "no" can be "not right now". For some.

Felix, it just sounds like you're parking your car in the long-term lot. Nothing wrong with that, especially since you said you have other stuff going on, as long as you don't have expectations.

I'm still old-school enough that I believe most women want to know their status up-front - is it yes or no? They tell me they don't like playing games (usually while they're playing games with me ), so I would think Zone #3 would have the potential of turning into the Twilight Zone.

Good luck, whatever happens.
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Old 01-10-2011, 11:40 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
14,116 posts, read 14,800,494 times
Reputation: 18427
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
A woman usually knows within seconds whether she will NOT sleep with a man. That's different. A maybe can be a yes or a no, so I agree with you there. But a no is a no.
Haha! Very true, good point!
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Old 01-10-2011, 11:53 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 38,215,397 times
Reputation: 42599
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
But then a "yes" can also be a "maybe"...

...and a "no" can be "not right now". For some.

Felix, it just sounds like you're parking your car in the long-term lot. Nothing wrong with that, especially since you said you have other stuff going on, as long as you don't have expectations.

I'm still old-school enough that I believe most women want to know their status up-front - is it yes or no? They tell me they don't like playing games (usually while they're playing games with me ), so I would think Zone #3 would have the potential of turning into the Twilight Zone.

Good luck, whatever happens.
If a "no" means "not right now," that's a "maybe." I guess "maybe" just seems like "yes, eventually," so my terminology could be objectionable. And hey, not every woman's brain is the same.

Urban Sasquatch--not sure where he went--said once that the CD women tend to object to being lumped together (e.g., women are golddiggers, all women respond to game) until it came to making statements about what women "really" want, why women do things, what a "real man" is, etc. In other words, women were simultaneously claiming that we were too special and unique for a man to claim to know how our brains worked, AND that there is a general female collective conscious, which all women realize and understand. Obviously, there can't be both, but I never thought about it before. So, Urban, if you're reading this, I learned something.

Anyway. I make no claims that all women think the way I do, so my "a no is a no" may not apply to every woman.
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Old 01-10-2011, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Cardboard box
1,909 posts, read 3,422,036 times
Reputation: 1328
You either get laid or you don't. End of story.
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Old 01-10-2011, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 19,976,723 times
Reputation: 8668
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
If a "no" means "not right now," that's a "maybe." I guess "maybe" just seems like "yes, eventually," so my terminology could be objectionable. And hey, not every woman's brain is the same.

Urban Sasquatch--not sure where he went--said once that the CD women tend to object to being lumped together (e.g., women are golddiggers, all women respond to game) until it came to making statements about what women "really" want, why women do things, what a "real man" is, etc. In other words, women were simultaneously claiming that we were too special and unique for a man to claim to know how our brains worked, AND that there is a general female collective conscious, which all women realize and understand. Obviously, there can't be both, but I never thought about it before. So, Urban, if you're reading this, I learned something.

Anyway. I make no claims that all women think the way I do, so my "a no is a no" may not apply to every woman.
That's why I put in the qualifier "For some" - I know how you ladies roll because I've been a lab-rat for females my entire life.

And why can't there "be both"? Y'all break every OTHER rule of the known Universe - why not that one? It's just another example of the ol' Yin/Yang Theory...
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Old 01-10-2011, 01:39 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,224 posts, read 4,858,136 times
Reputation: 1089
Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeShoreSoxGo View Post
You either get laid or you don't. End of story.
Sure. But this is more about WHEN that happens ... not IF.

Felix the Cat ... if you really care about her, don't keep her in suspense TOO long. I have had to friendship zone men because I couldn't figure out where they stood, and moving on to spare my feelings was (eventually) the only option.
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Old 01-10-2011, 01:46 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
14,116 posts, read 14,800,494 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queensgrl View Post
Sure. But this is more about WHEN that happens ... not IF.

Felix the Cat ... if you really care about her, don't keep her in suspense TOO long. I have had to friendship zone men because I couldn't figure out where they stood, and moving on to spare my feelings was (eventually) the only option.
I agree.

Timing is everything...

Sometimes the time just is not right, even though the people are.

So seize the opportunity should it arise!
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Old 01-10-2011, 02:24 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 5,840,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queensgrl View Post
Sure. But this is more about WHEN that happens ... not IF.

Felix the Cat ... if you really care about her, don't keep her in suspense TOO long. I have had to friendship zone men because I couldn't figure out where they stood, and moving on to spare my feelings was (eventually) the only option.

I haven't known her long. I just haven't made a move or asked her if she's interested in dating. I'm not playing any games, like not returing calls or texts or looking for other women and keeping her on the back burner. And who knows, she may not even be interested in me. I'm just going with the flow for now and not pushing for anything. Also, we get along pretty effortlessly so we could be friends. I've had a relationship start that way before, where we we friends for a few months. I don't want to be too buddy buddy with her though, or it could be weird to date her.
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Old 01-10-2011, 06:28 PM
 
499 posts, read 368,073 times
Reputation: 87
I hate the in between zone.
Never ends well
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Old 01-10-2011, 07:01 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 5,840,446 times
Reputation: 3002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollymixture View Post
I hate the in between zone.
Never ends well
It doesn't end well when both people don't actually like being friends. If one person's ulterior motive is to date and they are only being friends in hopes of dating, then it's a false friendship. You have to be true friends, not a weasel.
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