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Old 01-08-2011, 11:06 PM
 
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I hear people talk about the friend zone or the non friend zone, which would be romantic or sexual. But there is also an in between zone that can last for weeks, months or years. This is a friendship with flirting or an ulterior motive friendship. I have had several experiences like this. I'm wondering if this is common. Share your experiences if you have experienced this type of relationship or phase of relationship.
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Old 01-08-2011, 11:27 PM
 
Location: Tucson
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
I hear people talk about the friend zone or the non friend zone, which would be romantic or sexual. But there is also an in between zone that can last for weeks, months or years. This is a friendship with flirting or an ulterior motive friendship. I have had several experiences like this. I'm wondering if this is common. Share your experiences if you have experienced this type of relationship or phase of relationship.
Well, that's what many do with their so-called "friends" of the opposite gender. Backburner attention and ego boost that can start a fire at any given time. In the meantime, their naive and dumb partners cheer them up for having friends of the opposite gender.
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Old 01-08-2011, 11:32 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
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Eh, the in between zone is where you put them when you've got several going at the same time and trying to decide, or it's where you put them when you're waiting to see if the one you really like is going to ask you out.
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Old 01-09-2011, 12:44 AM
 
Location: SoCal
128 posts, read 231,404 times
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The longest lasting, happiest romantic relationships are those between 'best friends'. Anyone worried about being 'friend-zoned' isn't looking for a real relationship, they just wanna get laid. Which is fine if that's all you want, but if you want real love, be willing - even eager - to be a friend first.
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Old 01-09-2011, 03:00 AM
 
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For years I had a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex. There was lots of flirting, we went out alone together and to family gatherings, we cooked for each other. Everybody assumed we were partners in the sexual sense. But there was never anything physical between us beyond a kiss on the cheek
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Old 01-09-2011, 04:24 AM
 
47,531 posts, read 63,106,938 times
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When Harry Met Sally.

For many people, it's one or the other. In fact for many if someone is considered a friend starts trying to cross into the romantic partner region, it won't happen and the friendship ends.

A good buddy is one category, a lover is another. A buddy can become a real love - and the best marriages are between friends-and-lovers.
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Old 01-09-2011, 05:03 AM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,148 posts, read 20,216,622 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
I hear people talk about the friend zone or the non friend zone, which would be romantic or sexual. But there is also an in between zone that can last for weeks, months or years. This is a friendship with flirting or an ulterior motive friendship. I have had several experiences like this. I'm wondering if this is common. Share your experiences if you have experienced this type of relationship or phase of relationship.
This is usually where you end up when you don't have enough game to advance to the sexual stage of the relationship, but you have enough to prevent being relegated to "the friend zone". This is where alot of "nice guys" end up. A friend of a friend of mine is going through this right now with a girl he's been pursuing for about 3 months. She clearly sees potential LTR in him but he's got a very submissive and obedient attitude about him so she is keeping him in play while she is getting some NSA action from the proverbial bad boy before she is ready to settle down.

I've tried helping the poor clueless bastard, but sadly I think he's beyond help.
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Old 01-09-2011, 08:21 AM
 
Location: NYC
2,224 posts, read 4,847,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixTheCat View Post
I hear people talk about the friend zone or the non friend zone, which would be romantic or sexual. But there is also an in between zone that can last for weeks, months or years. This is a friendship with flirting or an ulterior motive friendship. I have had several experiences like this. I'm wondering if this is common. Share your experiences if you have experienced this type of relationship or phase of relationship.
um hm. that third zone exists. i find myself there when a guy is interested in me but he has other things going. it's a frustrating place to be but best for me to not act upon in a romantic way. i've always said that i don't want to be part of anyone's harem. better to lean it towards the friend zone until he's ready for a commitment.
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Old 01-09-2011, 08:30 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
10,093 posts, read 18,305,560 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queensgrl View Post
um hm. that third zone exists. i find myself there when a guy is interested in me but he has other things going. it's a frustrating place to be but best for me to not act upon in a romantic way. i've always said that i don't want to be part of anyone's harem. better to lean it towards the friend zone until he's ready for a commitment.
Yes, I should think that the worst thing you could do is to hang around with that hopeful attitude. Best to keep busy with other things and the thing is, there could be a way out of it, b/c the lover in question may get to know you better and decide that you are the one, esp if they're new to dating and have 3 or 4 going.
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Old 01-09-2011, 08:37 AM
 
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If there is an in between zone, that's good news for me. Here I was thinking I got put in the friend zone. But maybe that's not the case.
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