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With no kids involved. Get out now. Continuing the lying, manipulation and infidelity is not the answer. But then again, I would have given the advice early on that you be a mature adult and tell your spouse when it started. At this point, life is short and even if what you are only feeling is a temporary form of infatuation and lust, go ahead and get out of your marriage and enjoy it. If that is all it is, then it won't last but you probably already know that. As far as the woman you are with already "leaving her marriage" - FYI, she checked out way before you came along and if she has already told you that you are the only guy that she had affair on her husband with, then you need to realize that she is lying.
As a guy that was single for a while and attracted married women frequently, with it leading to a long term intimate relationship: all I can say is, if you are the other person and not married or with someone else, all of the blame for an affair rests entirely on the person that is married and cheating on their spouse. I never for even a single minute felt any guilt, and in a couple of cases actually considered myself to be performing an altruistic service towards the husbands of the women I was getting off. If they had it in them to cheat, and the sex was good enough for them to continue things and jeopardize their marriage, eventually both times they "got caught", although it was staged on their end so they wouldn't have to just tell their husband, then I saved those guys years of their lives living a charade and a facade. . . . married to a ****.
I also like to study human behavior, and the darker sides of it. It was amazing in one situation how little the woman I was with did in terms of being a partner in her marriage. Her husband paid all of the bills, bought a house he had before they were married, took care of anything she wanted and needed and adored her. If she had at any point in time put 10% of the effort she expended into her marriage that she did maintaining an affair with me, then for her husband she would have made a great wife. The fact was, she got off psychlogically on the secrecy, lying and out of control porn-induced sex she was having in the affair and that was part of why she kept it going.
She "accidently" left her email accessible on their home computer and then he "found" our emails. Wow, big surprise and she almost enjoyed watching him fall apart and struggle with the affair as the days following that progressed. Anyway, cheating and hiding stuff doesn't help any situation, so make a clean break, maybe even sparing her the news that you have been having an affair and for so long and get out.
Grow some balls and ask for a divorce. If you have any respect for your wife then you'll tell her. It's not fair that she is being faithful and being denied the chance to be truly loved unconditionally by someone else.
I told my wife about the affair two weeks ago. She reacted better than I thought she might - even though the was in absolute pain. I spent 10 days out of the house and now I'm back in and we have agreed to work through it, go to counselling etc.
I have ended the affair although that hurts too and I'm not sure if what I'm doing is the right thing. I would have accepted it if my wife had thrown me out for good but now I feel I owe it to her to try even though I'm not 100% committed to doing so.
At least the truth is out there I guess.
Why do you feel you owe it to her to try???especially when you can't even give it your 100%...and you already feel you may not be doing the right thing??.....The truth is NOT out Dave...sounds like you're back to being deceptive already......why can't you let this woman find a man who will give her ALL of his respect...and not just some...like you......Viny80 is right!!!
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sorry so n sew
..... You're a cheater.
You deserve to be thrown under a bus.
