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Old 06-10-2013, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
11,343 posts, read 9,241,586 times
Reputation: 52514

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No friendship = no bed partner.

I'm willing to wait it out, mostly due to my fear of one night stands.
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:21 PM
 
1,342 posts, read 2,159,300 times
Reputation: 1037
In a way, her wanting to be "friends first" is just an extension of making you wait.
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:22 PM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,769 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enzio1 View Post
Several of my friends were sitting around chatting, and then the topic of relationships came up. One of my female friends remarked that girls like it when you start out as friends first and then go into a relationship. How much truth is to this statement? Is it something that varies from girl to girl? Is it something that a majority of girls agree with?

I just ask because, well, I'm not the most confident person and have only asked out friends in the past. Even when I thought that something was there, some sort of spark, it didn't work out. The girl invariably doesn't feel the same way. Maybe it's because I'm just really bad at reading signals. Maybe it's because I don't know how to make myself look attractive to girls (although, I just act as myself).
Friendship first is most ideal, because trust is established, and it's more than just the physical.
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Old 06-11-2013, 01:28 AM
 
1,341 posts, read 1,623,604 times
Reputation: 1166
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I don't date guys who think having a woman in their bed is more valuable than having her friendship. Works for me so far.
Yes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
Does it work for the guys you date?
Best post ever and +rep.
Worth of repeating it because it got ignored.
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:24 AM
 
3,636 posts, read 3,416,937 times
Reputation: 4324
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Jack22 View Post
No way, unless you want to be the shoulder she cries on without getting laid.
I am not convinced of this at all. Not just some but ALL the girls I have ever been with - be it a one night stand or a longer relationship - have started out as friends first - some of them for quite some time.

Further I think it is a worrying undertone in your post that we should only be there for someone - to lend them our shoulder as it were - if there is some promose of sexual reward at the end of it. Though it would not be the first post you have made where you indicate you see women as nothing more than sexual conquests - to be dropped or disregarded if said agenda appears to be going nowhere.
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:15 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,473,205 times
Reputation: 7857
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enzio1 View Post
Several of my friends were sitting around chatting, and then the topic of relationships came up. One of my female friends remarked that girls like it when you start out as friends first and then go into a relationship. How much truth is to this statement? Is it something that varies from girl to girl? Is it something that a majority of girls agree with?

I just ask because, well, I'm not the most confident person and have only asked out friends in the past. Even when I thought that something was there, some sort of spark, it didn't work out. The girl invariably doesn't feel the same way. Maybe it's because I'm just really bad at reading signals. Maybe it's because I don't know how to make myself look attractive to girls (although, I just act as myself).
Starting out as friends first sounds like a great idea, but it often fails in practice. Single, desirable women are always being chased by lots of guys. If a guy take it too slow, if he tries to be friends first, he will usually just get knocked aside by some other guy who is more aggressive.
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:38 AM
 
16,488 posts, read 24,439,512 times
Reputation: 16339
I have never been friends first with a guy and then later dated him. If he is friend material he will likely stay that way. The guys I have dated I met in one way or another and one of us asked the other out and we began dating right from the start.
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