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I've been over this before. Girls are all over celebrity boys in girl pants. If I was famous, girls would be all over me.
And some girls are into non-celebrity boys in girl pants too. I used to not understand why males would wear girl pants, so I asked some girls if they're attracted to guys in girl pants (but I was asking them in a "how could you possibly be attracted to that?" type of way). Some of them said it's hot.
Several of my friends were sitting around chatting, and then the topic of relationships came up. One of my female friends remarked that girls like it when you start out as friends first and then go into a relationship. How much truth is to this statement? Is it something that varies from girl to girl? Is it something that a majority of girls agree with?
I just ask because, well, I'm not the most confident person and have only asked out friends in the past. Even when I thought that something was there, some sort of spark, it didn't work out. The girl invariably doesn't feel the same way. Maybe it's because I'm just really bad at reading signals. Maybe it's because I don't know how to make myself look attractive to girls (although, I just act as myself).
In my own experience with the opposite gender, friendship with a girl is essentially the kiss of death to any prospects of a relationship with her. "Let's Just Be Friends" is one of the biggest insults a girl can ever say to a guy -- because 90% of the time, she doesn't even really mean it (i.e., anything about real "friendship" anyway).
"LJBF" = same as "Get Lost".
**There are certain exceptions though, if *she* is the one to ask you as a guy, for more than friendship, and you're already friends with her. I've had that happen at least twice to me, that resulted in viable relationships. The danger that you want to avoid is getting placed into the "friend zone" by her, where you care about romantically, but she doesn't feel the same, about you.
that only works if ur like some brad pit or extremely attractive dude. For an average guy it isn't a good idea to start of at friends because 99% of the times u will end up being stuck in the friend zone.
So asking a girl out for a coffee for 45 minutes is a "waste of time," but you'll be "friends" with a girl (i.e., go to the mall and shop for women's pants with her) indefinitely before you "decide" whether she's "worth" dating.
I think that's my cue to leave. I'm not a licensed shrink, I can't help this kid.
I don't think it's a waste of time to spend 45 minutes getting coffee with a girl. But what's so special about Starbucks that makes it a date? A boy and a girl could go to Starbucks as friends and not call it a date. And they could go to the mall and call that a date. Date is a vague term. In the not-so-distant past, someone started a thread about the minimum criteria to call something a date. You can call just about anything a date. But you can also choose not to call something a date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
no no no!
I and a few others in this thread have mentioned a few times that if you're in the friend zone, you're stuck there. Most of us don't need a "friendship" with the opposite sex to decide if we want to bone each other and start a relationship, because that's what "dating" is for. If I'm friends with a guy, he's a friend just like any other friend and I would be very offended if a guy I was friends with was sizing me up on whether or not I'm girlfriend material, rather than being a good friend to me instead. I've been put in this position by a few guy "friends" and lets just say, they're not my friends anymore. They turned into douches when I never let it go further. Anyways, no girl is sizing you up to date you once she's made you her buddy. If she likes you, she's dying for you to ask her out already, not hang out and go shopping together.
The point I'm trying to make is: what you call dating, I call friendship. If you use dating to get to know each other, that's my idea of friends. My idea of dating is when the relationship begins (in other words, more than friends). If a girl has a thing for me, she might make me her friend. Unfortunately, it's not as socially acceptable for a female to ask a male out. So she might keep it to herself that she's interested in me, hoping I will want to be more than friends and ask her out once I get to know her as a friend.
I don't think it's a waste of time to spend 45 minutes getting coffee with a girl. But what's so special about Starbucks that makes it a date? A boy and a girl could go to Starbucks as friends and not call it a date. And they could go to the mall and call that a date. Date is a vague term. In the not-so-distant past, someone started a thread about the minimum criteria to call something a date. You can call just about anything a date. But you can also choose not to call something a date.
The point I'm trying to make is: what you call dating, I call friendship. If you use dating to get to know each other, that's my idea of friends. My idea of dating is when the relationship begins (in other words, more than friends). If a girl has a thing for me, she might make me her friend. Unfortunately, it's not as socially acceptable for a female to ask a male out. So she might keep it to herself that she's interested in me, hoping I will want to be more than friends and ask her out once I get to know her as a friend.
No she will not because she could get friend zoned too. A girl who has a thing for you will want to date you, not be buddies.
No she will not because she could get friend zoned too. A girl who has a thing for you will want to date you, not be buddies.
If she wants to date me but doesn't want to ask me out, it would be in her best interest to become friends. At least then I'm more likely to notice her. If we never become friends, how am I supposed to give much thought to her?
I don't friend zone people (unless I decide they're not dating material AFTER getting to know her as a friend), so there's no need for her to worry about being friend zoned. If she got friend zoned, that would mean I decided a relationship between us wouldn't work out anyway. It's better to go about it that way. That's better than dating her only to find out we're not compatible. At least with the way I go about it, I save her from heartache.
Other posters have proposed the idea that men and women can't be friends because men always have a desire to be more than friends. As a male, I can tell you there's some truth to that statement. Whenever I become friends with a girl, the thought of dating is in the back of my mind (unless I find her unattractive). But that doesn't mean I want to date her right away. It just means I'm thinking about eventually dating but I want to decide first if we're compatible.
If she wants to date me but doesn't want to ask me out, it would be in her best interest to become friends. At least then I'm more likely to notice her. If we never become friends, how am I supposed to give much thought to her?
I don't friend zone people (unless I decide they're not dating material AFTER getting to know her as a friend), so there's no need for her to worry about being friend zoned. If she got friend zoned, that would mean I decided a relationship between us wouldn't work out anyway. It's better to go about it that way. That's better than dating her only to find out we're not compatible. At least with the way I go about it, I save her from heartache.
Other posters have proposed the idea that men and women can't be friends because men always have a desire to be more than friends. As a male, I can tell you there's some truth to that statement. Whenever I become friends with a girl, the thought of dating is in the back of my mind (unless I find her unattractive). But that doesn't mean I want to date her right away. It just means I'm thinking about eventually dating but I want to decide first if we're compatible.
hmm..have you had a relationship to speak of experience for this scenario you present? A girl will lose interest in you if she has to wait ages for you to make a move on her via a "friendship".
And yes, men and women generally can't be friends, there are some exceptions or I wouldn't have male friends myself. Your thoughts of being friends with girls with the ultimate intention of sizing her up for a relationship, proves that. Like we all said, you find out compatibility by dating, as in going on dates. Trust me, its less of a pain to turn down a date than it is to turn down a friend if it doesn't work out.
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