am i a bad wife???

[LuckyGem]

Originally Posted by phonelady61

Okay whoever is repping and asking about the husband yes I would say the same thing !!!!

Yeah it doesn't matter who does what.

[virgode]

No. You have different spending styles. Setting aside some money doesn't make you a liar or a bad wife. Don't let anyone feed you that load of crap.

Originally Posted by luvmykids08_10

i lie to my husband.. well i wont say lie i just dont tell him exactly how much money i have when i get paid or get money from selling avon. Because when i do he thinks of little stupid things he wants to do with money and at the end of the month we dont have anything to save or hold on to incase of emergencies. we dont have an account(i dont like banks) i have a pre-paid card for work and my child support from dd1. he gets unemployment and they have a debit card. i never REALLY know how much he gets i just go by what he tells me. so i take some of it for bills and let him have the rest for w/e he wants to spend it on. (most of the time anyway he doesnt give me the full amount i ask him to give me anyways for bills) but anyways i dont fully tell him how much i have and when he asks for money for things i know we dont need or things i know he doesnt need i say we dont have it. AM I A TERRIBLE WIFE?

[miyu]

Originally Posted by phonelady61

What makes you think he would stick to a budget when she has already stated he spends and does not save a dime ?

She can funnel the money to an account she can control and leave him some spending money based on the agreed upon amount.

[MattB4]

Originally Posted by luvmykids08_10

i lie to my husband.. well i wont say lie i just dont tell him exactly how much money i have when i get paid or get money from selling avon. Because when i do he thinks of little stupid things he wants to do with money and at the end of the month we dont have anything to save or hold on to incase of emergencies. we dont have an account(i dont like banks) i have a pre-paid card for work and my child support from dd1. he gets unemployment and they have a debit card. i never REALLY know how much he gets i just go by what he tells me. so i take some of it for bills and let him have the rest for w/e he wants to spend it on. (most of the time anyway he doesnt give me the full amount i ask him to give me anyways for bills) but anyways i dont fully tell him how much i have and when he asks for money for things i know we dont need or things i know he doesnt need i say we dont have it. AM I A TERRIBLE WIFE?

You are not a terrible Wife, but neither you or your husband have any financial sense. I bolded some areas that you both may end up in trouble with. You and your husband are getting a income that you will have to pay taxes on or at least prove that you do not owe any. Part of having a bank account is to show that proof. As is, the IRS could say you are earning undeclared money got from selling Avon products and then hit you with all kind of penalties and fines. Your Husbands Unemployment is also reported to the IRS (though the State should be withholding a portion for the taxes). One or the other of you should be filling a annual return based on your incomes (You may get a fair amount back plus unearned income credit which is extra money for certain low income tax payers.).

The other reason to have a bank account is to show the world that you can handle your finances properly. This increases your credit score overtime if you never bounce checks. There are many banks that do not charge for having an account (I never pay for my banking).

Both you and your husband need to learn basic budgeting and how to handle money. There should be things you can look up online to help you.

Good fortune (make one).

[Nite Ryder]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

You aren't a terrible wife or person, but you are in a very unhealthy marriage and that is terrible

I agree wholeheartedly!!! Sounds like my first marriage. The money I made was never enough, my wife saw to that. She spent beyond our means, then lied to me about her spending.

Do whatever it takes to make a budget and stick to it. Make your husband realize your marriage won't last if your financial situation isn't fixed. I mean by planning, not by making more money or working longer hours.