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I seriously think that a woman's definition of a "good guy" changes with the moment. In fact, I think that many women only know what a "good guy" is when they see him. In other words, the "lists" go out the window. It all happens "on the fly."
People think being nice is something I can, or even want to, change. I don't. I like being nice. I'm motivated by much more than what makes me appealing to the other gender. If my niceness comes across negatively to them, well...so be it. So many women...I'm only after one. A great one, sure...but great ones do exist.
People think being nice is something I can, or even want to, change. I don't. I like being nice. I'm motivated by much more than what makes me appealing to the other gender. If my niceness comes across negatively to them, well...so be it. So many women...I'm only after one. A great one, sure...but great ones do exist.
I hear you on that. I am a woman and I get "friend-zoned" a lot too. I started asking some of these guy friends of mine what exactly is wrong. It seems I am too nice!
I did find some information (though a friend) on why this happens (friend-zoned nice people) in an article. I thought it might be nice to share the links. Here is a good clip from the first link that I thought really fit (fits my personality and a lot of people posting here too)
Quote:
The final reason why people end up in the friend zone is because they are simply too nice (see here). They do all of the work. They make all of the concessions and sacrifices. They make it very "easy" for the other person to be with them.
In the process, they also tend to get taken for granted (here), devalued (here), and forgotten. Put simply, people value what they work to obtain and invest in. They have more attraction and respect for individuals for whom they perform favors (Jecker & Landy, 1969). They also find relationships more valuable and commit more fully, when they invest in them in various ways (Coleman, 2009).
Therefore, by doing all the work, an individual puts himself or herself "in" the friend zone. When they do all the investing...they develop all of the loving feelings. The other person does not.
For what it's worth, right now I am very attracted to a friend of mine whom you could say is a typical nice guy. He became a friend of mine when I was in another relationship. But the way he treats me has changed (I think he's interested in me, I am not 100% sure). There is also a distance things with us, but I will be seeing him again soon. Maybe I can break out of the friend zone.
As it's been said before those that have to run around claiming to be a 'nice guy' usually aren't. It's my personal opinion that 'nice guy' is a myth anyways. It's just something the men perpetuate to keep women thinking "there's a nice guy out there for you" crap. "Nice guy" is just another 'buzz word' of the moment like "bully" and "wheelhouse." Can't take any of them seriously.
As it's been said before those that have to run around claiming to be a 'nice guy' usually aren't. It's my personal opinion that 'nice guy' is a myth anyways. It's just something the men perpetuate to keep women thinking "there's a nice guy out there for you" crap. "Nice guy" is just another 'buzz word' of the moment like "bully" and "wheelhouse." Can't take any of them seriously.
I only dated two really nice guys. And they were so nice that I felt I was too bad for them.
I only dated two really nice guys. And they were so nice that I felt I was too bad for them.
lol, i've gotten this.
apparently, being a "nice catholic boy" was a bad thing? like she felt she was "corrupting" me...
i was like "if i didn't think you were good enough for me, i wouldn't be with you..."
i like bad girls...nice girls, i mean, i feel like i can't be myself, like i always have to watch myself. eggshells.. i mean, maybe not to marriage...but i like them regardless.
I only dated two really nice guys. And they were so nice that I felt I was too bad for them.
Okay, exception to every rule.....Generally speaking none of them are actually that nice, most of the ones that start out that way don't end up that way. Eventually they will do or say something and out the window goes the so called 'nice guy' facade. Seen it enough times. It's basically all bullsh*t.
apparently, being a "nice catholic boy" was a bad thing? like she felt she was "corrupting" me...
i was like "if i didn't think you were good enough for me, i wouldn't be with you..."
i like bad girls...nice girls, i mean, i feel like i can't be myself, like i always have to watch myself. eggshells.. i mean, maybe not to marriage...but i like them regardless.
slip of the tongue? Lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
Okay, exception to every rule.....Generally speaking none of them are actually that nice, most of the ones that start out that way don't end up that way. Eventually they will do or say something and out the window goes the so called 'nice guy' facade. Seen it enough times. It's basically all bullsh*t.
At times I feel this way.But bounce back.
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