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If an unmarried guy in his 40s was having a conversation and was talking about another unmarried man in his 40s, and stated that since this other guy is in his 40s and unmarried, he must be gay, what would you think? Do you infer that the person speaking is gay, or that he plans on getting married at some point? It just struck me as odd, for someone in the same situation to say something like that.
^^ That's the same exact saying I thought when I read it. It is very odd that he would mention that the person is probably gay when he fits the description perfect. Sometimes people can't see themselves in the true light.
With my big mouth, I would have called him out on it and said "I guess you're calling yourself out, huh?".
If an unmarried guy in his 40s was having a conversation and was talking about another unmarried man in his 40s, and stated that since this other guy is in his 40s and unmarried, he must be gay, what would you think? Do you infer that the person speaking is gay, or that he plans on getting married at some point? It just struck me as odd, for someone in the same situation to say something like that.
Could be lots of things. If you were present, since he presumably knows of your interest, he may have been saying that in an attempt to wave you off and get you to leave him alone. It could also be that he's gay and testing the waters a bit to see how people react. It could be lots of things. I definitely would not assume it meant he wanted to get married at some point. That's about the last thing I would infer from that comment and I worry it comes more from your hopes than reality.
In any case, I'm not sure that it matters (since I'm assuming this is your same professor you have a crush on) since this man has had multiple opportunities to ask you out over the years and has chosen not to at every turn. If anything, I would take this as a sign that you should throw the towel in and look for someone your age and available to date.
Those that are quickest to label others gay for being unmarried are in fact hiding their true sexuality themselves. Most people have no desire to be married for the simple fact that relationships are too much of a headache; you have to put up with your partner acting stupid, etc No one in their right mind wants to live like that.
Last time I checked, Brad Pitt and George Clooney are both unmarried men in their 40's. Somehow, the thought that they're gay never occured to me (or to anyone else on planet earth).
Anyone who thinks an unmarried guy over 40 is gay is just clueless, immature or has never gotten out of their house much.
Last time I checked, Brad Pitt and George Clooney are both unmarried men in their 40's. Somehow, the thought that they're gay never occured to me (or to anyone else on planet earth).
Anyone who thinks an unmarried guy over 40 is gay is just clueless, immature or has never gotten out of their house much.
I happen to agree with you on that one. I think the key factor here is that the man saying "an unmarried guy over 40 is probably gay" was, in fact, an unmarried guy over 40 himself. That kind of lends the question of why he would bring up such a thing if he wasn't trying to drop hints or at least feel out the topic to see how others reacted.
People can still be unmarried in their 40s for lots of reasons. But, I do suspect by that point there's probably a higher chance than average that a man who has chosen not to marry by his 40's probably isn't the marrying kind. Sure, he could have been very shy and desperately searching all those years... but more than likely he enjoys the single life and the freedom of choosing new partners at will, doesn't want the commitment, etc. Or he could be gay. Or there could be a host of reasons. Still, if I had a friend pinning her hopes on a never-married 40's guy and wondering if he would change his spots for her, I would advise her not to invest too much time there.
If an unmarried guy in his 40s was having a conversation and was talking about another unmarried man in his 40s, and stated that since this other guy is in his 40s and unmarried, he must be gay, what would you think? Do you infer that the person speaking is gay, or that he plans on getting married at some point? It just struck me as odd, for someone in the same situation to say something like that.
The short answer: yes, he's gay.
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No one in their right mind wants to live like that.
