Ugh! Doesn't anyone take vows seriously anymore? (men, younger, children)
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She's going to be in for a big surprise when she re-enters the dating market. I guarantee that within a few years she will be crying herself to sleep, wishing she had stayed with her husband. And by then, he will have moved on and will be happy and in a new relationship.
This is so true. I got married at 20, and with all the unfaithful, womanizing middle aged pigs I've seen out there in 31 years since, I consider myself blessed to still be with my dependable old DH who loves me. I wouldn't be back out on the "meat market' for all the tea in China. A great time in a marriage is after the kids are grown and raised, and you get the time and freedom to investigate and develop new interests to share. It's almost like courting all over again, but better, because you're not so self conscious!
A co-worker of mine recently told me that she's getting a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. She and her husband have a 13 year old and a 5 year old. I asked her why and she says because she feels too tied down, that she never got to have fun when she was young because she got married at age 20. Neither she nor her husband were cheating, she was just bored with him and says she never really loved him. She says he's a good man and a good father but she married for security and wants to see what else is out there. She can't wait for the divorce to be final so she can go out and date again and next time marry for love (she won't date before the marriage is legally over and has nobody in mind).
I think she's nuts and I feel really sorry for her husband who apparently did not want the divorce but isn't making a fuss over it because it was obvious his wife had her mind made up. They've already reached an amicable agreement about custody.
It just seems crazy to me
I've seen a couple threads recently, from men, basically saying the same thing. I think they're nuts too.
1. Well, this one hits kinda close to home since it somewhat describes my gf. I think it depends on the home situation meaning that if it is a dead, loveless marriage then that's probably not a good thing for the kids either....and to some extent I think if you got married young and tried to make things work that 20 years isn't exactly taking the "easy way out".
2. On the flip-side the gal may have watched too many episodes of "cougar town" and think it's just a dating paradise out there for 40-something gals.
I guess there is just no way to know unless you REALLY know more about thier home life and personal situation. Do we react differently if the gal is 25 and has been married 5 years and realizes she "married the wrong guy"?
I don't have any answers, there probably isn't one anyway.
Well if she isn't happy then she should get a divorce. Why live the rest of your life unhappy? Maybe she will find love, maybe she won't.
For all the ones who think she should just suck it up. Lets get real here. My mother divorced my father when I was about 12 years old. Eventually she found someone that made her happy and they have been together for almost 14 years and are extremely happy. Some people should step down off their high horse. Modern families don't get broken up by divorce they just evolve into in a new unit. Both my parents are happier re-married and the kids turned out fine and successful. We also get two examples of happy and healthy relationships.
It reminds me of a co-worker who mentioned that she and her husband were divorcing. When I asked why, she said that she just didn't feel like being married any more. She had a fantasy that being single would suit her better. It didn't.
A co-worker of mine recently told me that she's getting a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. She and her husband have a 13 year old and a 5 year old. I asked her why and she says because she feels too tied down, that she never got to have fun when she was young because she got married at age 20. Neither she nor her husband were cheating, she was just bored with him and says she never really loved him. She says he's a good man and a good father but she married for security and wants to see what else is out there. She can't wait for the divorce to be final so she can go out and date again and next time marry for love (she won't date before the marriage is legally over and has nobody in mind).
I think she's nuts and I feel really sorry for her husband who apparently did not want the divorce but isn't making a fuss over it because it was obvious his wife had her mind made up. They've already reached an amicable agreement about custody.
It just seems crazy to me
I've seen a couple threads recently, from men, basically saying the same thing. I think they're nuts too.
A. Just because they say there's nobody else doesn't mean that's true. My Ex wife insisted he was "just her good friend" for 2 years after our divorce to everybody even though they'd been having an affair for several years prior. Try to think of it like this, I'm revealing something bad, do I want to heap on 5 bad things at once?
B. she already reveal she married for security, does it make sense after being with somebody purely for security for 20 years she just suddenly decided to be insecure? Nah there's usually sombody already waiting in the wings. Has her appearance improved in the past 6 months? That's sign numero uno. Weight loss, new clothes, new hair, new makeup.
C. Expect that good man thing to suddenly change right before being introduced to the new one. "Well you know he wasn't that good to me he did do ..."
D what'll prove my point is you'll notice her suddenly meeting the new HIM for lunch all the time, real close to the end of it.
Who cares? They spread their legs for me, that's all that matters to in the end.
Lol, I always imagine someone who would write foolishness like this to be a basement dwelling, fat, balding dependant on his parents loser who is unlikely to have EVER spent any time between a woman's legs...of any age.
Lol, I always imagine someone who would write foolishness like this to be a basement dwelling, fat, balding dependant on his parents loser who is unlikely to have EVER spent any time between a woman's legs...of any age.
Great minds think alike Except, I also picture him with a pimply teenaged BOY face (real men don't write like that)!
The whole cougar and MILF thing is an invented fantasy kept alive by stupid shows/movies like sex in the city or womens magazines and other nonsense.
The reality out there in the world is that successful men 25-45 are willing to get it on short term, but the likelihood of landing a long term relationship is less likely when you are a 40 year old with kids and an ex husband. Yes men would entertain the thought of a fit 40 year old, but I don't think most successful men that age want that in a relationship, especially if they want children. Keep in mind ladies that just because you are 40 doesn't qualify you for cougar/MILF status. We are talking about fit and attractive women, not frumpy short haired 350 pound women in stretch pants.
When womens eggs start to run out and become less viable, their bodies give them one last squeeze of hormones to try to make it across the finish line, which is why women in their late 30's get frisky and desperate. It's a dead end road and one coming up fast. A woman's currency is their beauty and fertility, which is like a shooting star that shines brightly for a while and than fades quickly.
I think nature/God set it up that way because you want young and healthy women to give birth preferably. They've got the energy and bodies to pull it off. Men were set up to be viable for much longer, because someone has to be able to provide the funding to make raising of a child possible. As shown in historical studies of societies, over human history the average age separation at marriage is a male 10 years older than a woman.
What it all comes down to is 40 year old women have had their moment in the sun and I think if they have expectations that men will be gobbing to get their hands on them for LTR's they are going to be in a for a shock. Sure they might get some cheap sex, but I have never known any women content with that over the long term. Now they might get some 55 year old guy that can't score 18-35 year old chicks anymore, but someone they consider an "equal" or a trade up, anything is possible, but not likely.
Lastly I'll say that none of that means 40 year old women are worthless, just that some of the high expectations or fantasies they might have, the goalposts have moved.
I was 40 when I met my 9 years younger and rather good looking man. And how strange that he was quite smitten with me, that he didn't want kids, that we had a whole heap of stuff in common and we've now been together 6 years.
I must be the only 40 year old to have ever done that
A. Just because they say there's nobody else doesn't mean that's true. My Ex wife insisted he was "just her good friend" for 2 years after our divorce to everybody even though they'd been having an affair for several years prior. Try to think of it like this, I'm revealing something bad, do I want to heap on 5 bad things at once?
B. she already reveal she married for security, does it make sense after being with somebody purely for security for 20 years she just suddenly decided to be insecure? Nah there's usually sombody already waiting in the wings. Has her appearance improved in the past 6 months? That's sign numero uno. Weight loss, new clothes, new hair, new makeup.
C. Expect that good man thing to suddenly change right before being introduced to the new one. "Well you know he wasn't that good to me he did do ..."
D what'll prove my point is you'll notice her suddenly meeting the new HIM for lunch all the time, real close to the end of it.
I could buy that. There is often someone waiting in the wings.
However that other person might have solely been attracted for the cheap thrill of having an affair, not so much about the person themselves.
I've seen people bail on their partner a few times expecting to flee into the arms of their illicit sex partner only to find they have vacated the area. Whoops!!
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and has nobody in mind).
Do we react differently if the gal is 25 and has been married 5 years and realizes she "married the wrong guy"? 
Except, I also picture him with a pimply teenaged BOY face (real men don't write like that)!
