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Old 01-25-2011, 01:07 AM
 
1,838 posts, read 2,570,189 times
Reputation: 1551

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So I run into a guy I've known since High school and it was a, I wouldn't say weird feeling between us but it was "different" We went to different high schools but we both ran track that's how we became friends our friends were friends etc. The guy and I have had some what of an attraction to each other but it wasn't really sexual for me I viewed him more so like a brother than someone I'm romantically attracted too. I remember one time we were all out at the club and one of his friend girls were saying we should hook up and I was like no we're just good friends. We've always had a mutual respect for each other, he's let me come over to his home and spend the night because I'd had too much to drink even when he had lady company. He had white carpet and I threw up on the floor and it was red lol but he didn't say anything but gave me the stuff to clean it up with lol.

He's seen me go through relationships and I get the feeling he was never really honest with me about the feelings he had for me. At one point I was considering giving us a try but when he came clean about kids he had once lied about, I decided to choose another guy over him because I'd rather keep him as a friend rather than get into a relationship and it ends badly and there's bad blood between us. We'd run into each other at various events and it would be the same thing, exchanging updated numbers but no communication until we saw each other again.


So last night when I saw him while I was out for a girlfriends birthday party it has been a couple years now since we've seen each other and he looked handsome and I'm sure he thought I looked good also but the way he was looking at me throughout the night was "different" like he would have this look like he wonders what could have been had we really gave having a relationship a shot. It's not an option for me now because the little bit I did become romantically attracted to him, its not there anymore and most importantly I'm engaged so a romantic relationship is defiantly out the question. Its like life just took us in different directions and it would seem at some point we would get together but something has always stood in the way of that happening.

When he came over to speak, he could barely look me in the eye and before he left he came over and gave me a hug and didn't look me in the eye at all but just walked away. It really feels like he regrets how things played out with us. I mean we've slept in the same bed and didn't do anything and basically have known each other our whole lives.

So have you ever come in contact with someone and begin to wonder what could have been?
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:16 AM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,691,716 times
Reputation: 1151
its important to move on and not dwell in the past. Many people wonder what would of been with past interests, but many times they are in love with the person of the past. In current times the love just isn't there any more or a relationship isn't plausible. I think you should move on with your life and focus on your current fiance. It wouldnt be fair to him if you were always thinking of other men.
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:37 AM
 
1,176 posts, read 2,029,201 times
Reputation: 1125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shysister View Post
So I run into a guy I've known since High school and it was a, I wouldn't say weird feeling between us but it was "different" We went to different high schools but we both ran track that's how we became friends our friends were friends etc. The guy and I have had some what of an attraction to each other but it wasn't really sexual for me I viewed him more so like a brother than someone I'm romantically attracted too. I remember one time we were all out at the club and one of his friend girls were saying we should hook up and I was like no we're just good friends. We've always had a mutual respect for each other, he's let me come over to his home and spend the night because I'd had too much to drink even when he had lady company. He had white carpet and I threw up on the floor and it was red lol but he didn't say anything but gave me the stuff to clean it up with lol.

He's seen me go through relationships and I get the feeling he was never really honest with me about the feelings he had for me. At one point I was considering giving us a try but when he came clean about kids he had once lied about, I decided to choose another guy over him because I'd rather keep him as a friend rather than get into a relationship and it ends badly and there's bad blood between us. We'd run into each other at various events and it would be the same thing, exchanging updated numbers but no communication until we saw each other again.

So last night when I saw him while I was out for a girlfriends birthday party it has been a couple years now since we've seen each other and he looked handsome and I'm sure he thought I looked good also but the way he was looking at me throughout the night was "different" like he would have this look like he wonders what could have been had we really gave having a relationship a shot. It's not an option for me now because the little bit I did become romantically attracted to him, its not there anymore and most importantly I'm engaged so a romantic relationship is defiantly out the question. Its like life just took us in different directions and it would seem at some point we would get together but something has always stood in the way of that happening.

When he came over to speak, he could barely look me in the eye and before he left he came over and gave me a hug and didn't look me in the eye at all but just walked away. It really feels like he regrets how things played out with us. I mean we've slept in the same bed and didn't do anything and basically have known each other our whole lives.

So have you ever come in contact with someone and begin to wonder what could have been?
OMG yes! there was a girl who i loved soooo much in high school ( it wasn't a crush, it was love ) and i used to dream about her. we both played sports too and we would work out together and run and stuff. she was gorgeous too. my 1st marriage was hell and i would just daydream about what could have been. the feeling was mutual for her too but i just flat out screwed the whole thing up. like i've said before on here i wasted my time on weed and sports. she married a doctor after playing out her scholorship and as far as i know she's happy and i sure hope she is. lucky for me i'm head over heals for my wife so she rarely crosses my mind now but she used to dominate my dreams, literally and figuritively. i mean we talked and she loved me too and i blew it!!! ooohhh what could have been!!

now like someone else pointed out you've got to move on and put that stuff behind you. because of the way my life went, i have my daughter and my granddaughter. plus i'm in a great 2nd marriage. who knows where i'd be know if things had worked out with my "dream girl"? but damn i loved her! see now you went and made me think about her
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,610,321 times
Reputation: 3746
I think on a certain level yes, maybe there would have been something but I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. If you weren't romantic with him then and now you're engaged; it just wasn't meant to happen. I think it'a a natural curiosity to wonder the "what if's" but now that you are engaged maybe part of it is knowing that this is the final straw, last man you're going to be with kind of thinking... and maybe subconsciously your mind is doing the "holy crap, this is it!" lol ....
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:57 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
14,769 posts, read 15,198,308 times
Reputation: 19432
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron View Post
... I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. ....

I believe that as well.

I have someone in my life (sort of) that's kinda like the guy in the story. Known him for years and years, and nothing ever happened. We've always got along really great, there's an attraction, loads of respect, but still, nothing happens! I've had to move on many times over the years...There were times we would just click and talk regularly and there's all this tension building up to...Nothing! I know he's just being a gentleman, but good lord. He is the nice guy...too damn nice to do anything about it. Uhhhg. lol

C'est la vie.

But, as I quoted above, everything happens (or doesn't happen) for a reason. Timing is everything. Sometimes we show up early, sometimes we miss the bus and get there late. Sometimes we don't make it at all. Sometimes we have control over that, and sometimes we just have to sit back and let fate be the driver when we don't have directions...

Come to think of it though, it's actually pretty nice to have things to wonder about. Otherwise, it kinda takes all the fun out of life, right?!...
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:08 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 2,570,189 times
Reputation: 1551
I agree with everyone as you'll have made some very GREAT points!

@andreaspercheron"now that you are engaged maybe part of it is knowing that this is the final straw,"

Yeah I was thinking seeing him again was basically the nail in the coffin now. All the back and forth we've done over the years and leaving things up to chance is over now. Nothing happened in all these years so its time to turn the page and now his chapter in my book has been written, the end.

@victorhe33- I agree with everything you've stated. Leaving the past in the past has always been an issue for me. Actually my new yrs resolution was/is to work on that and I've done good thus far but running into him sort of slowed me down but it's ok. I'm letting it out here to get it out my system because I am done with him. I will always respect him but I love my fiance and he is who I want and no one else. I think seeing him was a test for me to see if I'm really ready to committ to my fiance for the long haul and I am. Seeing my "friend" brought back memories and emotions that are common when you have that kind of history with someone but it was still nothing romantic in the feelings. Just more so like wow look at where we are now, I did feel he regrets how things played out with us but like someone said everything happens for a reason and I wouldn't trade the direction has taken me because I'm very happy with the road I've traveled and continue to travel. My fiance doesn't have anything to worry about, I love him and there aren't any doubts about that what so ever.
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