Do you keep the cheating SO, cheating bestfriend, or ditch one or both?

[miyu]

Dropkick all of them into a volcano.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Both go in both cases.

This^^.

[Nite Ryder]

Originally Posted by h886

I wouldn't treat the BF or best friend any differently. Both chose to cheat. Clearly their regard for their friend/girlfriend isn't very high. Best to leave them to each other and move forward with your life.

I think the answer changes somewhat once marriage and kids have been involved... at that point I think you have more to lose and you have to ask yourself if the good things about your spouse outweigh the bad, if the potential for loss if you divorce is more than the cost of trying to save the marriage when possible. Some people make a stupid mistake and can correct that and later be a better partner. Others are serial cheaters. Depends on the situation.

While I don't condone cheating, there is some merit in what the above poster has to say when a marriage is involved. If the cheating spouse is remorseful and the situation warrants it, I would possibly give him/her a second chance. If, on the other hand, I had reason to believe the spouse would cheat again, there would be no second chance. As far as friends are concerned, I couldn't or wouldn't maintain a friendship with someone that had cheated. I prefer my friends to be honest people.

[Ankhharu]

You gotta drop both. As far as the spouse, even if they express remorse, you are always going to be wondering when you are not around if they are giving into temptation once again. And what happens a few years down the road when the marriage hits a rough patch. Boredom, stress, whatever it may be. This person cheated before, they'll probably do it again. Lose the toxic people in your life. You can't change people, so there is no sense in trying.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by Mathguy

If your friend doesn't know you know they cheated on you....tell them in confidence that you just got tested HIV+ and are just devastated.

LMAO.

right on!!!

[TabulaRasa]

Do you LIKE surrounding yourself with people who don't respect you, and giving them places of honor in your life? If so, keep 'em both around. If not, give both the boot. I don't care if you have kids or not. If you passively accept and condone a cheating spouse, you set a lousy standard for your kids and likely play a role in making sure they develop screwed up attitudes regarding their future relationships. Show your kids that respect is essential in healthy relationships.

[purehuman]

Why do you feel you need to choose between one or the other? They're both guilty of the same thing, your only choice should be : do I want someone that dishonest in my life, I know I wouldn't.