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You always see in the paper or hear from a freind about someones 14, 15, 16 year old daughter getting pregos and having a baby these days.
So, here's the questions,
"Would you force her to give you the sperm donors name and force his parents to help pay for the care of the baby "legally if you could", until they are BOTH out of school?"
And would you force her to stay in school, get that deploma and let her know that her life as a teenager has just came to dead end and that there will no more free life for her either"? She wanted to act like a grown up, not she has to be a grown up from here on out!
If my daughter gets pregnant at age 14-16 she will live by my rules under my roof. She will get an abortion. She will continue school. She will no longer have sex again until she is 18 since she has already proven herself unworthy of adult responsibilities. And if she gets prego at 18 I'm definitely not helping her.
Her other option is to move out of the house, have the baby without my help. She can decide to give it up for adoption at that point or raise it herself. If she is adult enough to have sex and get pregnant then she should be adult enough to deal with one of these two options.
A couple of you mentioned things like "if she's old enough to have sex, she's old enough to raise the baby and take care of the consequences and her responsibility" and that putting the baby up for adoption is out of the question. What is the child, the same as a puppy? A 14 year old didn't know better than not to have sex, how is he or she smart enough to raise a child? It's punishing the new baby more than punishing the teenagers to make them keep the baby. The baby should be with parents who want to raise him or her. How well is a baby going to do with two very young parents who don't really care and are probably trying to finish school and have a "social life" at the same time? Well I don't have kids, so I don't understand.
I have two kids, they are both adults (22 and 20) about to turn 23 and 21. Ever since they could think about the opposite sex I was drilling into their heads the consequences of getting pregnant as a teenager. Did I put the fear of Mom into them? You bet. As a parent that was my responsibility to do that for them so that IF that would have happened, I knew in my heart I did everything I could to educate them and help them not get pregnant or get someone else pregnant.
As it stands, neither of them wants kids few a few more years and were very glad that I was SO honest and graphic with them about having kids, babies, pregnancy, costs, how your life drastically changes, etc. I might have been a real pain but I also didn't end up with pregnant kids or my son getting someone else pregnant.
This stuff HAS to start at home with the parents. If the parents do a good job, are around for their kids, be involved in their kids lives, the occurances of this happening is drastically reduced.
I don't think it helps that we have "Teen Mom" shows that glorify teen pregnancy. These kids are getting paid to be on these shows, I'm sure they are making plenty of money, why do they care if they are pregnant? The families involved look out of it half the time.
Be responsible for your kids and teach them right!
A couple of you mentioned things like "if she's old enough to have sex, she's old enough to raise the baby and take care of the consequences and her responsibility" and that putting the baby up for adoption is out of the question. What is the child, the same as a puppy? A 14 year old didn't know better than not to have sex, how is he or she smart enough to raise a child? It's punishing the new baby more than punishing the teenagers to make them keep the baby. The baby should be with parents who want to raise him or her. How well is a baby going to do with two very young parents who don't really care and are probably trying to finish school and have a "social life" at the same time? Well I don't have kids, so I don't understand.
When an underage couple has a baby, the baby is the priority, not their social life.
I know a woman who had a baby at 16. Gave it up for adoption. Got married and had 2 kids later in life. Abandoned them to do things she wanted. She was barely a mother to the 2 kids. The father did all the work.
I think trying to force a teenager to do anything is easier said than done, and power struggles are pointless. I also agree that it's better to approach the boy's family with an attitude of, "How can we work together and make this work?" rather than immediately going on the offensive. Fighting and threats and alienating people (including your own child) are not productive or helpful.
You always see in the paper or hear from a freind about someones 14, 15, 16 year old daughter getting pregos and having a baby these days.
So, here's the questions, "Would you force her to give you the sperm donors name and force his parents to help pay for the care of the baby "legally if you could", until they are BOTH out of school?"
And would you force her to stay in school, get that deploma and let her know that her life as a teenager has just came to dead end and that there will no more free life for her either"? She wanted to act like a grown up, not she has to be a grown up from here on out!
I would let her know I would be there for support, I wouldnt judge her or her kids, it doesnt mean her life has ended it just means she has to realize she other priorities that take precedence over her single life. I would encourage her to stay in school and get her diploma and go to college, a teen parent can still get an education.
Im a mother of a teen parent, and they both went to school and our attending college, They know they have responsibilities but we dont tell them tell having a child keeps you from having a life
I would encourage both parents to be in the childs life,
Not every family will do that, it called "OBLIGATIONS" and being "RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS".
Exactly!
This generation is so spoiled.
Back in the day I could still here my Dad say, "What do you want me to do about it?"
We were raised to be good citizens of society. Today there is no right or wrong. When something bad happens everyone else will help to make it all better for them. Even if it is because they act stupidly.
It's that parent that goes into the 19 old's bedroom to wake them up for work. WHY? Can they not be responsible enough to set their alarm or to go to bed at a decent time?? What will the boss say when they show up late one day? What can the kid say, "My Mom didn't wake me?"
Yeah...I will help support this kid's kid with my taxpaying... Thanks for raising a winner.
I really don't get how giving a baby up for adoption to parents who want it, so the teenagers can focus on school and go to college and become productive citizens, is being irresponsible. What do you want the kids to do, drop out of school and get jobs? If you complain about parents' bailing a kid out of a mess and how "kids today" don't live up to their obligations, why expect the kids' parents to take care of the baby? Yes, shotgun weddings were not unusual back in the day, and I have a few in my ancestry, but today I think that's just setting the kids up for failure. These scenarios have terrible success rates.
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Even if it is because they act stupidly.
Thanks for raising a winner.
