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sure i do as long if it's about the Situation and not about the same of stuff it's her choice and relationship etc etc
Huh? I'm confused. What type of advice are you looking for that won't address the fact that it's ultimately her choice? It sounds like you've already decided that you'd like her to abort. So just tell her that and let the chips fall where they may. Be prepared for her not to go through with it.
If you want her to abort tell her that since thats an option as it would not be good for you to agree to have the child and you resent the situation later when the child is here which at that point it'll be nothing you can do about it.
,,,Please post your comment in regards the SITUATION and not the relationship Thank you.
That is all you get on the internet is our opinions.
You are in so deep you may not see that the situation is the relationship.
Likely you have already made your mind up and just want to read the posts that will back up your answer.
ok, I need some help on this my g/f of long distance 5+ years. We found out that she's pregnant and was wondering what i should do in this matter.
Situation
1. We love each other very much 2. She has 2 other kids from a past marriage now the age of 6 and 9.
I have no kids and 26y/o 3. My family hates her and doesn't want me to be with her cause of the kids. They think she's ugly, I give her a 7-8 on a 1-10 scale but with everything else she's a 10
I lose my family (won't be able to speak to them because i'm losing Face)
4. I have no job, and just got my AA bout to go off to university (currently living with parents) 5. She has no job, going to school living with parents.
6. She has been waiting for me to move in with her and start our lives together.
7. Abortion option is there, no adopting, or have the baby.
I'm thinking about abortion cause i'll be a father of 3 off the bat with no job and a AA which doesn't mean anything these day. I can't provide for them. I know i can get a job but i'm trying to get to medical/ pharmacy school which will not give me time for it.
However having the baby would make her happy.
please help what do you guys think?
Do everything you absolutely, positively can to prevent this pregnancy from being your anchor. Abortion is preferable, but adoption will work in a pinch. For the reasons you I bolded above, it's pretty easy to ascertain that this woman is a train wreck and being financially and emotionally bound to her for the next 18 years is something you MUST avoid.
If she wants this baby and has an abortion to please you, she will hate you for the rest of her life.
I will tell you about a phone call I got from a friend, many years ago. She called me, drunk, and all she could say was "Today is the day the would be baby should have been born.". She will cross that due date. She will think about the baby that wasn't and if you're the reason that baby wasn't, your relationship will not survive.
This is not your decision. It's hers. She is the one who must order her unborn child killed and she's the one who must go through with the procedure. Let her make the choice and then live with the consequences either way.
If she wants this baby and has an abortion to please you, she will hate you for the rest of her life.
That's the last thing the OP needs to be concerned about. His focus needs to be on making sure that he doesn't get saddled with a child.
Look, T84, you seem to be a somewhat self aware guy. You obviously understand that between the two of you, you don't have a single job, any relevant education, or a place to live. That's no situation for a single kid to be in, much less three. Completing your education while providing for one child would be insanely difficult and absolutely impossible as the defacto father of three in your situation. Hell, where would you even go? This is a long distance relationship, so you'd basically be relegated to paying for the baby and infrequent interaction with it. Your family doesn't like her so I bet your parents would entertain the notion of her and her 3 kids moving in with you for about a nanosecond. Who knows how her parents feel. You obviously can't get your own place with no jobs between the two of you. This would be a cluster**** of epic proportions no matter how you slice it.
The cold, hard truth of the matter is neither one of you is in any position to be parents. Your girlfriend already made her choices, but you still have a chance. If having an abortion results in the end of your relationship, so be it. It's probably the best thing for you. Either way, I can show you enough guys who went down this road and regretted it to fill a football stadium. I know you think you and her will be different, but you won't.
This would be a cluster**** of epic proportions no matter how you slice it.
The cold, hard truth of the matter is neither one of you is in any position to be parents. Your girlfriend already made her choices, but you still have a chance. If having an abortion results in the end of your relationship, so be it. It's probably the best thing for you. Either way, I can show you enough guys who went down this road and regretted it to fill a football stadium. I know you think you and her will be different, but you won't.
Listen to Bosco, he speaks the truth.
Abortion or adoption is the ideal here. Do not worry about finding suitable adoptive parents. Healthy newborns are always in high demand. You could even do a private open adoption where you two can select the parents.
Ultimately I think you realize that you have no say in the matter. When a man chooses not to use a condom, he loses his choice about what happens next.
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