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Get a good job and stuff your undies ...
women like men who are very well endowed.
I read the job/money thing so often that I need to refute it!
Being under 30 I have my own house and car. I work as an engineer with nice salary, and I'm about to start my own company. Yeah I'm not Bill Gates, but I'm finantially quite better than most people my age where I live. And I couldn't get a date to save my life. So all of you expecting a good job or money to do the trick for them... I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
I am beyond frustrated at being single. I've basically been single for the last 2 years, as I went through a divorce. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through. I never want to go through something like that again, but I have to put myself out there and try to meet someone because I still want a family. But its hard to meet women to date and I hate being single. I'm a guy who has no issues with commitment whatsoever. I'm somewhat stable (have had some career issues) and am honest and loyal. Yet I can't find a woman to date. It must be a confidence issue stemming from my divorce. I don't know. Its either that or I don't have enough money.
see, heres my point, and I'm not trying to be mean to you, I totally understand, however, from my experiences, if you went thru a divorce, and have not been able to deal with it, and what I mean by dealing with it, is, find out why there was a divorce...and the only way to do that, is to take a long hard look at yourself...from self examination comes great awareness of why you chose the wrong person for a partner. That's what you have to find out about yourself.
Why do you need a woman in your life?
Is it because you don't feel complete without one?
Is it because you fear going places alone?
Is it because society dictates that you have to be a couple to be successful?
Do you need to have a woman in your life to feel complete and better about yourself?
I think, if you continue looking so hard, then you take the first one who comes along and shows you attention, then, boom, before you know it your in bed together and there are still a whole lot of people out there who feel, if you sleep together that is a committment. However, sleeping together is the easy part, the hard part, is finding someone who is mentally compatible....who you are attracted to...so you latch onto someone out of despiration, and in the end, it just isn't a good match.
I married, young, and was hungry for knowledge, travel, a go getter, hard worker, however, I married for all the wrong reasons....b/c we were dating for a long time and everyone else thought we should get married. Because I lacked confidence and needed help financially, b/c I feared going anywhere by myself....b/c I was co-dependent on someone else for happiness....however, those are all the WRONG reasons to date someone.
If you cannot be happy with who you are, you won't be happy
I know what you mean about never wanting to be hurt like that again, I felt the same way, but what you've got to do, is not blame, but find out why you chose someone who was so not compatible....it really wasn't my ex's fault, I accepted someone in my life who wasn't able to live up to my expectations....meaning, he was not taught by his parents that it is WRONG to run around, matter of fact, his dad did run around, so that dictates a lot. when you dating you have to open your eyes and ears and listen. You must observe the person's parents and family, and how they treat one another, you must not shrug off the bad stuff, just b/c you want a wife, or mate, and think it will get better, it doesn't get better! The best way to gain confidence in oneself, is to do things your afraid of doing by yourself....
I've been single for 16 years now, and it's the first time in my life, that I don't want someone else in my life....I'm perfectly happy being single....plus way to many men are either players or are looking for a mother to take care of them...I don't want to be a mother to any man again....ever!
Look to the self for answers, and when you do and are more then willing to acknowlege your faults, is when you start to change....plus world experience....learning to be with your self and enjoying the company you keep.
We here in America lack that kind of education, and that is why they're are so many divorces, b/c people "think" they have to be married to be successful....
I don't ever, never want to live someone else's idea of what they think a marriage should be....and we all have different expectations...and people simply cannot live up to our expectations, if we choose a mate for all the wrong reasons, you set both up to fail....
no one can live up to your expectations....
I mean lets face it, we take it for granted that everyone believe's it's wrong to cheat, to lie, to marry a mother or father....but so many people simply marry to be taken care of, which is wrong...relationships are hard work, for anyone, however, if you find someone who thinks and feels like you do, you might have a chance....Jealousy is also a killer of relationships, or controlling behavior....you really have to study that person's family and watch and listen how they talk to each other, treat each other, b/c this person is going to be the mother of your children, and by all means, you want someone who is responsible and not just living in some fantasy....your mate, like you, should have goals...and both of you, should be able to fulfill those goals, love doesn't stagnate the other person, or keep that person from success and climbing the ladder, love encourages you to be all that you can be, regardless of if that person is left a little behind, that person, shows true love by encouraging they're mate to climb...
Last edited by cremebrulee; 03-16-2011 at 06:05 AM..
I'm convinced that this society isn't set up for young guys to date. It's just set up to smoke or screw for the night. I been single since i was 23, now im 24. I tried a lot and was open to dating, i dated 2 or 3 girls just a couple times. Never worked. And all I wanted was a girl to do something fun with, like go biking, or a museum, or a library to talk about things I don't normally talk with other people in my life. U really have to be bold to get anything. But believe it will happend and it will soon. Don't be negative. Women can sense it and dont want to be part of a person who puts off negative attitudes.
You can do all those things yourself...and if you don't your stagnating yourself, if your waiting to experience those things with someone else...a girl is not going to complete your life, what will complete your life, is the challenge of learning how to do these things on your own, and when you learn to do those things, you will be so much more happier with yourself....
I go on vacations by myself....yes, it's hard at first, but then it becomes easier each time....I go out to dinner by myself....I find a great spot on the beach and read....
When you vacation with someone else, your living someone else's dream of what that vacation should consist of....go live life and experience, so that you know what you want in a mate....and no, no one likes a negative person....
I would never date a man who looks at other women when we're out together, that means, he isn't satified with what he has in you, nor is his attention there....he's always looking for something better, which shows immaturity and lack of confidence....in himself....some men don't feel good about themselves except when they are in a relationship....which is so wrong...I'd rather be by myself then be with someone who wasn't at all compatible.....
a woman is attracted to someone who is independent, b/c it shows right away....and career women can pick it out right away....if your a negative person, you can't fake it....if your not confident, you can't fake it...it definately shows....
I read the job/money thing so often that I need to refute it!
Being under 30 I have my own house and car. I work as an engineer with nice salary, and I'm about to start my own company. Yeah I'm not Bill Gates, but I'm finantially quite better than most people my age where I live. And I couldn't get a date to save my life. So all of you expecting a good job or money to do the trick for them... I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
Agree with you, that's how I feel too, and although I don't have a business of my own, I am way more successful than most people my age or people that I see around, all the people here who say a good job and money would do the trick are merely idealistic, and since they are already married or in a relationship, think it would do the trick.
What I observe is that steady and successful men are often passed on as boring, and unsuccessful and idiotically risk taking men are desired as adventurous by most modern women.
When you vacation with someone else, your living someone else's dream of what that vacation should consist of....
Wow, funny how you go on to say "no one likes a negative person" when this comment right here just smacks of negativity.
Vacationing with someone else doesn't necessarily mean you're doomed to live someone else's dream vacation. Not if you vacation with someone who likes the same things you do, or if you make compromises when planning your vacation beforehand.
All of those PUA techniques are stupid. I'm turning 28 at the end of the month and every single success that I've had in my lifetime with women was from girls that made it easy for me to get with them. If a girl really likes you, you don't have to try that hard, in my experience. All of the girls I have dated reciprocated when I would call them and text message them and they were just as interested in me as I was in them. These girls aren't easy to find either. Last year, I must have gotten over 20+ phone numbers from different women over a six month period, but only one of those women actually picked up the phone when I called and actually went out on dates with me. Trying to make an uninterested woman fall madly in love with you isn't realistic. If you can make it happen, it is dumb luck.
Agreed in part, dissent in part.
I agree that it is largely a numbers game. I also agree that finding a special person to spend your time with does require a certain measure of luck. Perhaps it's just fate.
But I disagree with the assertion that "PUA techniques are stupid." They're only "stupid" if you focus on the technique and not the concept. It's like showing someone a Wing Chun technique who doesn't understand the basic principles of center line, forward energy, and adhesion. When the techniques don't work for them in a fight, they're always prone to blame their failure on the system as a whole, rather than their inadequate conceptual understanding of the system. It's like memorizing time tables and then saying math is stupid when you fail an exam that requires you to multiply 75 X 41.
Game, or at least the proponents thereof, attempt to strip away the mystery around the female attraction algorithm. The basic idea is that attraction is not a product of "dumb luck" and that women are predictably attracted to certain characteristics in men just as men are predictably attracted to certain characteristics in women (or maybe it's just dumb luck that so many guys find Jessica Alba attractive). By and large, women and men are attracted to different things, and "game" helps men to improve upon those attractive qualities. The "techniques" are simply ways to demonstrate those qualities (the equivalent for a woman, I suppose, would be showing cleavage). Some techniques are good; some are bad (just like mascara). But the point is that there are behaviors men can demonstrate that improve their odds of attracting the women of their choosing.
I tried PUA stuff for some months. The problem I see with these techniques comes from the different results in the people I knew doing it: The ones who did have success before trying them began being more successful. But those who could not attract women before, still couldn't when applying PUA. So the ones having success with PUA techniques were the ones that would have been successful anyway.
Here is how I view it: PUA can make the spark grow into a fire, but it can't create the spark if it wasn't already there. Of course you could say: "well the attractive guys did improve, so PUA works". The problem is that PUA is commonly targeted to men who have problems. And often sold for big money.
I'm sure that someone will now come and say that it was all me: that I didn't really practice, or didn't learn correctly... whatever. I've heard those claims before and if you look at the pattern they sound no different than people who try to defend astrology, homeopathy or any fake science: "You didn't go to the right expert", "You have to believe for it to work", etc... In summary, the techniques are never wrong, and if you didn't get the promised results, the fault is always yours. Even when different "PUA styles" sometimes give contradictory advice, none will ever admit being wrong at anything. At the very least it sounds suspicious, doesn't it?
Wow, funny how you go on to say "no one likes a negative person" when this comment right here just smacks of negativity.
Vacationing with someone else doesn't necessarily mean you're doomed to live someone else's dream vacation. Not if you vacation with someone who likes the same things you do, or if you make compromises when planning your vacation beforehand.
I'm sorry, but I tend to be selfish, and vacationing with someone, generally means you must do things they would like to do....it's not negative, it's just the way things are....and if you would prefer to just sit and read, the other person gets upset, b/c your not going with them and they don't want to go alone....
I've only vacationed with one person that it works...I'd much rather go by myself...no TV, Telephones, Computers, noise period....I guess, in my younger years, it was great, we always had neighbors/friends join us, where ever we went, and it was great...however, now that I'm older, I just love being by myself...and yes, you can make compromises, but honestly, I don't want to....like I said, been there done that, and selfishly, I'd rather go alone....
I'm sorry, but I tend to be selfish, and vacationing with someone, generally means you must do things they would like to do....it's not negative, it's just the way things are....and if you would prefer to just sit and read, the other person gets upset, b/c your not going with them and they don't want to go alone....
I've only vacationed with one person that it works...I'd much rather go by myself...no TV, Telephones, Computers, noise period....I guess, in my younger years, it was great, we always had neighbors/friends join us, where ever we went, and it was great...however, now that I'm older, I just love being by myself...and yes, you can make compromises, but honestly, I don't want to....like I said, been there done that, and selfishly, I'd rather go alone....
If you would prefer to just sit and read, what's the point of going on a vacation?
Also, you can always bring the book along with you.
If you would prefer to just sit and read, what's the point of going on a vacation?
Also, you can always bring the book along with you.
excuze me?????? I like nothing better then to sit on a beach somewhere and read....need I explain????? I don't want to feel like I have to reply to someone's conversation, there are many times when I like to sit alone quietly....
You asked, I explained....but that apparently isn't acceptable...to you or for you?????
It never ceases to amaze me how much women, think they're right and can dictate what everyone else should do, everyone else is wrong if they don't think and feel the way you do about things.......simply put, I may not be right but neither are you, and we are two different people who don't think alike, therefore, what makes you happy, doesn't make me happy, doesn't make you right and me wrong....period....
I like to vacation alone, period, and there is nothing negative about that....
Just in your suggestion, "you can always bring the book along with you", is the reason why I like to vacation by myself...I deal with people every day....don't want to have to deal with them or they're expectatoins or suggestions on my vacation, and I tend to find non touristy places...
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