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I think that perhaps the key word here is "nightclub". They aren't really good places to meet people. What I meant was more...neighborhood type places where people aren't on the make.
Well, that nightclub is not like most so the term needs to be used loosely. Let's put it this way if it stopped sell alcohol tomorrow it's customer base would continue to come there as it's more like a social club with lots and lots of dedicated regulars. They go there because they like the place not because it servers alcohol.
But this still doesn't explain while such awful luck with the dating sites? All those years and not a single view or message. Damn I may not be Brad Pitt but geez you'd think someone on there would have been interested. It's pretty bad when you can't even get the desperate to view you or message you.
Was nothing wrong with nightclubs, at least when I was single.
I was single for 22 yrs and found out that there was one thing I had to learn when I started going to country-western nightclubs.......DANCE! I could dance to rock, but started going to c-w nightclubs cause I do like a slow-dance once in awhile. Anyway, I didn't know how to 2-step or anything else, so I learned and got good enough at it that I had ladies come up to me and ask me to dance (after they seen me dance)......that was great for the old ego!
But, there was one nightclub that I occasionally went to on a Sunday night where I automatically knew that the ladies were WAY out of my league for anything, including dancing. It was a pretty upperclass c-w nightclub and the ladies were just too hot looking for me. I knew some rodeo cowboys, like myself, that I hung out with there. We'd all do the same thing, stand around, drink our beers, chat, point out hot looking ladies and that was it.
You didn't mention that if you danced or not, but learning to c-w dance sure helped me. Yes, I could saddle/ride a horse, swing a rope and 2-step or Texas Swing!
Agreed, night clubs were my forte when I was single, a lot of guys are not comfortable though or cannot dance, so it may not be a good option. There are a lot of non-verbal cues you have to be able to pick up on, both good and bad. Ive approached women that ive gotten the signals from in a club without speaking to them (at first) and just danced with them and it was good, but you really have to be able to read the signals and approach when she makes the first move (non verbally).
I actually met my current girlfriend that way, over 9 years ago
I really don't know of anyone who has ever had any luck with the dating sites, though I am sure they must be out there.
Do you have any trusted female friends/sisters you could ask for advice?
No sisters but some married female friends and they themselves have admitted they don't understand why I'm having such bad luck. I have a good personality, I'm funny, I'm cool and while I'm adventurous (wild) a man with an edge I do have a solid foundation of morals and decency. I know just where the lines are and what not to cross. Cheating ain't cool to do to a gal if things are that bad just break it off don't sneak around behind her back that' ain't right.
But when you've run out of ideas it's only wise to seek some input from others even strangers if need be and thus why I'm asking here. Because I just don't get it... I don't mean this to sound arrogant but I know I'm a very fine catch and I shouldn't be having all this trouble. I'm just about everything a woman could hope to find in a man.
To OP, did you ever say how old you are? I know you said you're looking for women in their 30's but I didn't catch your age.
When I was in my early 30's, I thought I looked very good. I look at pictures of myself from that time period and think I was a handsome devil. Friends look at pictures from back then and say "You were a handsome devil" but I just couldn't seem to get women interested. I thought I had a good personality too. And no, I didn't act desperate. Anytime, a man says he's having trouble finding a woman, there's always someone here accusing him of being desperate and women can sense that and it's a turn-off, etc.
That's not always the case. Sometimes it just takes time and perseverance. I went 5 years between serious relationships when I was in my late 20's and early 30's. Eventually, I hooked up with the woman who became my wife and the drought was over. I found you sometimes just need a lot of patience and luck. Keep trying though. You never know what might happen.
To OP, did you ever say how old you are? I know you said you're looking for women in their 30's but I didn't catch your age.
When I was in my early 30's, I thought I looked very good. I look at pictures of myself from that time period and think I was a handsome devil but I just couldn't seem to get women interested. And no, I didn't act desperate. Anytime, a man says he's having trouble finding a woman, there's always someone here accusing him of being desperate and women can sense that and it's a turn-off, etc.
That's not always the case. Sometimes it just takes time and perseverance. I went 5 years between serious relationships when I was in my late 20's and early 30's. Eventually, I hooked up with the woman who became my wife and the drought was over. I found you sometimes just need a lot of patience and luck. Keep trying though. You never know what might happen.
No, I didn't give my exact age. I'm bummed enough about this whole thing without having to suffer the ridicule and smirk remarks. Seems that's all some people on the net look forward to is seeing how revolting and insulting they can be to another person. But let's just say I'm not desperate and have been very patience for many many years and during that whole time not one opportunity has presented itself. I was always cautious never to be picky and miss a chance because the girl was a little taller or shorter than I liked or was a little skinnier or heavier than I prefered. But nope nothing ever came along nothing was ever interested...
No sisters but some married female friends and they themselves have admitted they don't understand why I'm having such bad luck. I have a good personality, I'm funny, I'm cool and while I'm adventurous (wild) a man with an edge I do have a solid foundation of morals and decency. I know just where the lines are and what not to cross. Cheating ain't cool to do to a gal if things are that bad just break it off don't sneak around behind her back that' ain't right.
But when you've run out of ideas it's only wise to seek some input from others even strangers if need be and thus why I'm asking here. Because I just don't get it... I don't mean this to sound arrogant but I know I'm a very fine catch and I shouldn't be having all this trouble. I'm just about everything a woman could hope to find in a man.
Maybe part of it is the age range of women that you'd be interested in (and I'm not saying necessarily to change that--I didn't date much outside my own age either). What I'm trying to say is that women in this age range might be less likely to be out later in nightclubs, may be wary of online dating.
Also--it sounds like when you've tried to say hello to women in a nightclub, you're sitting at the bar. It's hard to explain but that's kind of a turn off. It sounds like the other guys who have had luck in clubs have had it because they were engaged in dancing. Maybe you don't like dancing; personally can't blame you there.
You've mentioned online datings and nightclubs as the ways in which you've tried to meet people...have you tried any other ways?
I think perhaps there are so many more men on the online sites that the problem you're having isn't very uncommon.
Maybe part of it is the age range of women that you'd be interested in (and I'm not saying necessarily to change that--I didn't date much outside my own age either). What I'm trying to say is that women in this age range might be less likely to be out later in nightclubs, may be wary of online dating.
Also--it sounds like when you've tried to say hello to women in a nightclub, you're sitting at the bar. It's hard to explain but that's kind of a turn off. It sounds like the other guys who have had luck in clubs have had it because they were engaged in dancing. Maybe you don't like dancing; personally can't blame you there.
You've mentioned online datings and nightclubs as the ways in which you've tried to meet people...have you tried any other ways?
I think perhaps there are so many more men on the online sites that the problem you're having isn't very uncommon.
Well, the only thing I know left to do is look to he 20's somethings and the 40 somethings maybe they will be far less picky. The women my age are just too full of themselves still dreaming unrealistic expectations. I really don't have to worry about them as they'll still be single when their 50 and wondering where and why their still single.
I think there are plenty of nice women in their thirties. Sounds like you're blaming them and not thinking about things that you could be doing differently.
Good luck. But remember that if you do what you have always done, you'll get what you've always had.
Well, I took some extended leaps and at least got two nibbling on the hook. One's 44 years old and the other is 34 year old. The older one's probably just happy to have younger man hitting up on her and the younger one isn't even from this country so she's not got all the American women's hang ups.... Well just have to see where this goes, both sure have conducted themselves far better than the 30 somethings women I've tried to speak with before. They are so stuck on themselves no one is ever good enough for them. And I'm done trying to get women like that to speak to me...
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