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I've never been stalked or knew anyone who has but I can imagine how scary it is!
I make it known to everyone that I am armed and have weapons stashed all over my house. I definately would not hestitate to pull out my .45 if I feel I needed to.
You claimed to have been a stripper for 13 years, yet also claim to have never known anyone who was stalked? Hmm....I know from having dated strippers and also worked in the clubs that strippers are stalked all the time by obsessed, wingnut customers.
Hmmm....I gotta say that your statement kinda dings your credbility on the whole stripping thing......
Though I have to confess that I can't for the life of me fathom why anyone would want to say they pole-danced when they didn't.
Last edited by DrummerBoy; 02-05-2011 at 10:09 AM..
I befriended a nice mom whose kid goes to the same school as my kid. After almost a whole school year of playdates and forming a nice friendship with her, she confided in me that she and her husband and two kids have moved 5 times in the last 3 years to avoid a stalker.
I at first thought she meant an ex-boyfriend or something but it turns out that the person is actually a "relative" of hers. This woman who was stalking her raised her as her daughter then it was later discovered that she actually was an aunt-in-law who was her legal guardian throughout her childhood in order to get government benefits. She kept that secret for 23 years until one night she blurted it out to her and laughed.
They were close until she got married. This woman couldn't handle her moving out for college and then years later getting married. After multiple arguments and bizarre behavior (like trying to take their infant son out of daycare one day, telling the daycare staff that she was the biological grandmother and that she had permission even though she didn't), she cut off ties with this woman and told her not to contact them anymore.
Then all hell broke loose and this woman started breaking into their house in the middle of the night so they changed the locks then she started climbing into their backyard to stare into the windows, driving by their house and parking in front of it at odd hours of the night/morning (midnight, 2am, 3am, etc). She called leaving threatening voicemail messages (saying that she will take her son), then loving messages, and some messages even had no talking but just a love song playing in the background (like Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers). This woman even brought her various family members over to her victim's house so they can bang and knock on the door. She even has her family members stalk the victim by following her into restaurants and Costco and taking pictures of her and her kids.
So they sold their house and moved. Then she somehow got their new address and the stalking continued. This woman would knock on her door or ring the door bell over and over and when that didn't work, she would just show up in the middle of the night and sit in her car in front of their rented house. It's been 3 years and she hasn't stopped. Just when they thought they managed to move somewhere where she wouldn't be able to find them, she does. They've already moved between different counties so now they are thinking of just leaving the US and getting a job abroad.
Their worst fear is that this woman kidnaps one or both of their kids and murders them or she will use her gun to shoot them one day during a confrontation (yes this woman owns several guns).
It is so strange to hear a story about stalking when the stalker is a "family member". Sheesh, why would anyone want to do that to someone they raised or was in a familial relationship with? And to do it over years when the victim has no contact with them the whole time and doesn't want them in their lives?
After she told me, I was shocked. But it makes sense now why she always insisted on playdates at the park versus at someone's house or her house and why she is always so protective of her children. I feel so sad for her. I hope she finally finds a place where her stalker won't follow her anymore and just leaves her alone.
BTW she said she has contacted the police and since the stalker is considered her "mother" they refuse to do anything. They think it's just a dysfunctional family thing. They also say that even if she had all the proof in the world, she would have to confront the stalker in court and the restraining order still won't be granted because this woman "raised" her. So they are no help.
Everywhere you look online, there really is nothing to do when a person is being stalked except hope the stalker would get a clue and not stalk someone who doesn't want them in their lives anymore.
There was this one guy who kept paging me and paging me...met him in a pool hall...glad I only gave him my pager number. He would never get the hint and paged at all hours of all days for months on end.
I had a peeping Tom once. I guess he had been watching me a few times but I didn't know about it until the neighbors called the police and he was arrested. Since I hadn't known it was going on until he was arrested - I never had to live with any fear or anxiety. It actually took a few days for it to even sink in. All in all - if that is the closest I ever get to having a stalker - I consider myself pretty damn lucky!
I had a peeping tom too, years ago. Way I found out: on several evenings while reading in bed, I would see both my cats turn their heads at the same time towards my bedrm window. I never heard anything at all. So the next time it occurred, I got up slowly and went into the next rm (darkened) so I could look out...
There was TOM standing on a bucket under my bedrm window.....and still looking in....I was really frightened, and angry too....the cops came but of course he was gone by then.
We know now that peepers escalate into more deviant behavior over time, so guess I was lucky....and this due to my alert felines
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I had a peeping Tom once. I guess he had been watching me a few times but I didn't know about it until the neighbors called the police and he was arrested. Since I hadn't known it was going on until he was arrested - I never had to live with any fear or anxiety. It actually took a few days for it to even sink in. All in all - if that is the closest I ever get to having a stalker - I consider myself pretty damn lucky!
I had a peeping tom too, years ago. Way I found out: on several evenings while reading in bed, I would see both my cats turn their heads at the same time towards my bedrm window. I never heard anything at all. So the next time it occurred, I got up slowly and went into the next rm (darkened) so I could look out...
There was TOM standing on a bucket under my bedrm window.....and still looking in....I was really frightened, and angry too....the cops came but of course he was gone by then.
We know now that peepers escalate into more deviant behavior over time, so guess I was lucky....and this due to my alert felines
I had a peeping tom too, years ago. Way I found out: on several evenings while reading in bed, I would see both my cats turn their heads at the same time towards my bedrm window. I never heard anything at all. So the next time it occurred, I got up slowly and went into the next rm (darkened) so I could look out...
There was TOM standing on a bucket under my bedrm window.....and still looking in....I was really frightened, and angry too....the cops came but of course he was gone by then.
We know now that peepers escalate into more deviant behavior over time, so guess I was lucky....and this due to my alert felines
If I ever have a peeping tom that I knew of, I'd always rome around naked, with the blinds open, while trying to do things that might gross them out.
Trying to put a huge Eclair into my mouth, while having the rest fall over my chest
Bending over
dancing
shoving my body against the window I know they look through.
BTW she said she has contacted the police and since the stalker is considered her "mother" they refuse to do anything. They think it's just a dysfunctional family thing. They also say that even if she had all the proof in the world, she would have to confront the stalker in court and the restraining order still won't be granted because this woman "raised" her. So they are no help.
This strikes me as bogus, wherever it originated. It doesn't matter what their relationship is, her contact is not only not welcome, but against the law. Stalking is against the law. Breaking into someone's home is against the law. Terroristic threats are against the law. Harassment is against the law. I know the system doesn't always do the best work, the authorities are human and can be as ignorant as the next guy. But to say that she wouldn't be granted a restraining order with "all the proof in the world" because this woman raised her is a total and complete crock of poop. If that were so, child services wouldn't exist and no one would have ever been jailed for crimes against family members.
Quote:
Everywhere you look online, there really is nothing to do when a person is being stalked except hope the stalker would get a clue and not stalk someone who doesn't want them in their lives anymore.
There is plenty that can be done, though it doesn't always work and it isn't always enough. Victims are also not always informed of their options. No one is ever really prepared for this kind of thing. They must also be proactive in securing their own safety as well as documenting and seeking help from the authorities. It's hard to focus on that when you're looking over your shoulder all the time.
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Stalkers aren't always ex-romantic partners.
