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They always say things like “it would have only hurt you”.
Right.
If they were sooooo worried about hurting their girls, why did they cheat AND LIE in the first place?
I am not denying that I would definitely end things if I was cheated on. Once the trust is gone, that’s it, but it takes a lot of courage for a man to be a man and confess.
How do they sleep at night? My God, my conscience would eat me up inside.
Yes I know women cheat too, but I’m asking about men and this thing they seem to see as some kind of a justification.
They always say things like “it would have only hurt you”.
Right.
If they were sooooo worried about hurting their girls, why did they cheat AND LIE in the first place?
I am not denying that I would definitely end things if I was cheated on. Once the trust is gone, that’s it, but it takes a lot of courage for a man to be a man and confess.
How do they sleep at night? My God, my conscience would eat me up inside.
Yes I know women cheat too, but I’m asking about men and this thing they seem to see as some kind of a justification.
#1. They know they're wrong because there's the possibility they won't have their cake to eat it too if YOU leave them (dishonesty gets them what they want, with the truth you'll leave/dump them). Then they're stuck with the bimbo they cheated on you with and you're not around for the rebound.
#2. They don't really care about your feelings because they're selfish and you're NEVER a consideration when the -thing they want- is inbetween you and THEM.
(YOU) -thing they want- (THEM)
#3. When the ego is bruised they'll come back as if NOTHING happened.
When you have those three things in a man of that character...Run like hell cause he's not going to change. They did it because in their mind THEY DESERVE to have YOU and -thing they want-. Some men are motivated only by Ego, Ego, Ego (me me me).
There's women who manipulate like that too, and the men should run like hell as well.
its cause they know they hurt you and feel bad enough already. Doesn't make it better, but in their mind it does. I don't know this from experience, but friends have said this...who knows.
Are you saying you feel men lie about it more often than women? Not sure I see much difference, seems to me that cheaters tend to say that regardless of whats between their legs.
Are you saying you feel men lie about it more often than women? Not sure I see much difference, seems to me that cheaters tend to say that regardless of whats between their legs.
Where did I say that?
Not at all. I am just saying men seem to think they are doing something noble by keeping it a secret. I can’t comment on what women feel because I have never cheated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGem
#2. They don't really care about your feelings because they're selfish and you're NEVER a consideration when the -
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGem
thing they want- is inbetween you and THEM.
I think this too. Cheating is a selfish act. To say they kept it to themselves to spare your feelings is a load of garbage!
in some situations, such as a married man who gets drunk at the out of town Christmas party and shags someone, I think confessing is far more selfish than holding it in.
Cuz they are douches. Like they care about hurting anyone... they just don't want to get an earful.
Why the hell should they care if you leave them anyway? Obviously they didn’t care about you enough to be faithful so what does it matter now?
C’mon guys who have been there, tell me WHY you think this is an ok thing to do.
Do you really live with this horrible secret simply because you don’t want to cop an earful?
EDIT: This has absolutely nothing to do with my relationship, btw. Just want to make that clear!
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC
in some situations, such as a married man who gets drunk at the out of town Christmas party and shags someone, I think confessing is far more selfish than holding it in.
Why is that?
I have been drunk many times and... now this may come as a shock, but I managed to stay faithful.
EDIT: Sorry if I seem snappy, Onglet & co... it just works me up so much!
Your take on it is a tad simplistic. People "cheat" to get their needs met - because they are not being met in the primary relationship. It is not rational behavior. I doubt few people say, "I think I want to screw up my family now and make my wife miserable when she ultimately finds out."
It is just "acting out" and getting needs met. There could be hundreds of "reasons."
It is not "normal" for humans to be monogamous for 50 years or whatever.
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