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I am blessed to be in a happy relationship ( Marriage). Among the many things that make the relationship happy are :
(1) We share a similar World view (but not exact)
(2) We both love Baseball.
(3) We are only a year apart in age. So much easier IMO to communicate
(4) We are both honest with one another ...She knows that I participate in
this Forum for example and has no issue with the fact that I may on
occasion send a PM to a woman if a posting interests me.
(5) We go to neutral corners when a disagreement heats up
(6) We work hard not to go to bed angry. This has only happened once in
the last five years... A testimoney to our hard work...And again it is work.
(7)We are sooooooo compatible sexually....I still pinch myself and wonder if
this is all a dream. Fan^*^&ingtastic!!!!!!!!
On the real side we do have our days but overall we are happy. I've stated but a few reasons that we are in a happy relationship. I cannot state enough that we do work at it. By that I mean that we make a conscious effort to check in with each other. I have been in relationships in the past and this time I got it right !!!
What makes you relationship a happy one? Please list the reasons if you don't mind...Thank You so much. I eagerly await your response.
Spiritwalker
I don't want to be the first to respond with the party line of "honesty"
....but one thing I learned from my past relationship most recently is:
It doesn't matter how much you love eachother, or how good of he "friendship" might be - if both were based on lies in the beginning, there's little to no way to improve upon it, when you really buckle down and try to fix it. You can't fix lies.. you just have to wipe the slate clean and try to start over. And sometimes ... it's just too late to start over.
So, kind of a combination of honesty & communication methinks?
I don't want to be the first to respond with the party line of "honesty"
....but one thing I learned from my past relationship most recently is:
It doesn't matter how much you love eachother, or how good of he "friendship" might be - if both were based on lies in the beginning, there's little to no way to improve upon it, when you really buckle down and try to fix it. You can't fix lies.. you just have to wipe the slate clean and try to start over. And sometimes ... it's just too late to start over.
So, kind of a combination of honesty & communication methinks?
Bingo !!!! You can't fix lies !!!!! Love as powerful as it can be has a hard time with that one. As over used as "communication" is it still is key..I can't tell you how long it took me to begin to learn how important communication is in a relationship. Being "honest" about how you feel about something is so important. For me not letting something build up until WHAM !!!Know what I mean? Learning to let go of some emotions has been the most difficult for me.
If something ticks me off or if I have questions about something regarding the relationship it is best to get it up front and personal. Everything I believe can be negotiated. The results may not be as one plans but a compatible solution is possible to any issue. Communication will allow this to occur.
For me, it's the simple fact that I want for nothing and that there's not one thing I can think of to complain about or want him to change about himself and even after 9 years (7 of those married), he makes my tummy feel funny whenever he walks into the room and I can't help but smile.
For me, it's the simple fact that I want for nothing and that there's not one thing I can think of to complain about or want him to change about himself and even after 9 years (7 of those married), he makes my tummy feel funny whenever he walks into the room and I can't help but smile.
I sure know that feeling My wife lights it up for me...She tells me I do the same for her No complaints from this guy. I'm smiling right now . Not wanting to change anything about the person.....Very important.
Hate to burst your bubble, but my husband and I had the same relationship you are describing right up to the time he started having an affair. But, I believe you are definately on the right tract. The only other thing that I would encourage is to have a same sex best friend that will help you be accountable. That way, it would be a little harder to screw things up.
The key word is happy, we all have the power to be happy and that is what life is about, a positive attitude and not getting upset with the things that just don't matter. Thats my key for a happy relationship, don't dwell on the negitive, nobody gets along 100% of the time and nobody loves everything about their spouse, it's a compromise.
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A Foundation built on lies can only crumble......
. However since you have already distracted VAFury and the angry mob....
