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Old 07-23-2007, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Newtown Connecticut
328 posts, read 1,034,432 times
Reputation: 249

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I am blessed to be in a happy relationship ( Marriage). Among the many things that make the relationship happy are :
(1) We share a similar World view (but not exact)
(2) We both love Baseball.
(3) We are only a year apart in age. So much easier IMO to communicate
(4) We are both honest with one another ...She knows that I participate in
this Forum for example and has no issue with the fact that I may on
occasion send a PM to a woman if a posting interests me.
(5) We go to neutral corners when a disagreement heats up
(6) We work hard not to go to bed angry. This has only happened once in
the last five years... A testimoney to our hard work...And again it is work.
(7)We are sooooooo compatible sexually....I still pinch myself and wonder if
this is all a dream. Fan^*^&ingtastic!!!!!!!!

On the real side we do have our days but overall we are happy. I've stated but a few reasons that we are in a happy relationship. I cannot state enough that we do work at it. By that I mean that we make a conscious effort to check in with each other. I have been in relationships in the past and this time I got it right !!!
What makes you relationship a happy one? Please list the reasons if you don't mind...Thank You so much. I eagerly await your response.
Spiritwalker
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Old 07-23-2007, 10:27 AM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,401 posts, read 13,375,213 times
Reputation: 5774
I don't want to be the first to respond with the party line of "honesty"

....but one thing I learned from my past relationship most recently is:

It doesn't matter how much you love eachother, or how good of he "friendship" might be - if both were based on lies in the beginning, there's little to no way to improve upon it, when you really buckle down and try to fix it. You can't fix lies.. you just have to wipe the slate clean and try to start over. And sometimes ... it's just too late to start over.

So, kind of a combination of honesty & communication methinks?
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Old 07-23-2007, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Newtown Connecticut
328 posts, read 1,034,432 times
Reputation: 249
Default A Foundation built on lies can only crumble......

Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddlekitten View Post
I don't want to be the first to respond with the party line of "honesty"

....but one thing I learned from my past relationship most recently is:

It doesn't matter how much you love eachother, or how good of he "friendship" might be - if both were based on lies in the beginning, there's little to no way to improve upon it, when you really buckle down and try to fix it. You can't fix lies.. you just have to wipe the slate clean and try to start over. And sometimes ... it's just too late to start over.

So, kind of a combination of honesty & communication methinks?
Bingo !!!! You can't fix lies !!!!! Love as powerful as it can be has a hard time with that one. As over used as "communication" is it still is key..I can't tell you how long it took me to begin to learn how important communication is in a relationship. Being "honest" about how you feel about something is so important. For me not letting something build up until WHAM !!!Know what I mean? Learning to let go of some emotions has been the most difficult for me.
If something ticks me off or if I have questions about something regarding the relationship it is best to get it up front and personal. Everything I believe can be negotiated. The results may not be as one plans but a compatible solution is possible to any issue. Communication will allow this to occur.
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Old 07-23-2007, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Not tied down... maybe later! *rawr*
2,689 posts, read 6,936,315 times
Reputation: 4341
Quote:
Originally Posted by spiritwalker View Post
What makes you relationship a happy one?

For me, it's the simple fact that I want for nothing and that there's not one thing I can think of to complain about or want him to change about himself and even after 9 years (7 of those married), he makes my tummy feel funny whenever he walks into the room and I can't help but smile.
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Old 07-23-2007, 12:34 PM
 
6,565 posts, read 14,301,541 times
Reputation: 3229
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddlekitten View Post
I don't want to be the first to respond with the party line of "honesty"

That's cool, but if anyone says "RESPECT" without any further explaination I'm gonna go apesh** on them...
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Old 07-23-2007, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Newtown Connecticut
328 posts, read 1,034,432 times
Reputation: 249
Default Beautiful.............................

Quote:
Originally Posted by canibeyou View Post
For me, it's the simple fact that I want for nothing and that there's not one thing I can think of to complain about or want him to change about himself and even after 9 years (7 of those married), he makes my tummy feel funny whenever he walks into the room and I can't help but smile.
I sure know that feeling My wife lights it up for me...She tells me I do the same for her No complaints from this guy. I'm smiling right now . Not wanting to change anything about the person.....Very important.
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Old 07-23-2007, 01:56 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,401 posts, read 13,375,213 times
Reputation: 5774
I'm changing my mind

I think RESEPCT is the biggest key to a happy relationship!!


*runs for her life to avoid the glass shaterring noises of an angry mob behind her*

..I smell monkey pewp!
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Old 07-23-2007, 02:10 PM
 
434 posts, read 1,737,550 times
Reputation: 487
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddlekitten View Post
I'm changing my mind

I think RESEPCT is the biggest key to a happy relationship!!


*runs for her life to avoid the glass shaterring noises of an angry mob behind her*

..I smell monkey pewp!
I was going to say respect too but then VAFury scared me . However since you have already distracted VAFury and the angry mob....

Respect!!
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Old 07-23-2007, 02:19 PM
 
67 posts, read 190,486 times
Reputation: 34
Hate to burst your bubble, but my husband and I had the same relationship you are describing right up to the time he started having an affair. But, I believe you are definately on the right tract. The only other thing that I would encourage is to have a same sex best friend that will help you be accountable. That way, it would be a little harder to screw things up.
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Old 07-23-2007, 02:41 PM
 
Location: California
11,466 posts, read 19,358,545 times
Reputation: 12713
The key word is happy, we all have the power to be happy and that is what life is about, a positive attitude and not getting upset with the things that just don't matter. Thats my key for a happy relationship, don't dwell on the negitive, nobody gets along 100% of the time and nobody loves everything about their spouse, it's a compromise.
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