Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sorry, but it's true. You are her storybook fantasy. She can pretend to be Bella Swan and you are Edward Cullen. She is safe because you are some distance away. She can have all the fantasy of talking to you and dreaming about you, while never having to worry about anything real, like whether you'll try to get too fresh on a date when she's not ready for sex, or whether she feels inferior to you. She can close the computer screen when she needs to feel safe.
Also remember that her real life is with her parents. She is lying to them, pretending you don't exist, probably because she's terrified of how they'll react (which is a key issue.) How do you think she will feel if they refuse to accept you? Will she have to move out of the house? How will she feel then? Will it strain their relationship and will that in turn sour yours?
It's all too easy to play "relationship" like you're reading romance novels. It's another thing entirely to have it in real life.
Please see my above thread, for response to your question about her parents.
Physical intimacy is a non-issue for me -- I have sworn an oath to be 100% chaste, celibate, and virginal, until after a marriage to a beloved wife (whether her or someone else). I am a virgin myself, and would never touch her intimately at all, unless I am first married to her.
Wow. This is going to be a sh*tstorm x 10 if it ever progresses into a real meeting. As every other poster has pointed out, y'all are not dating, the "relationship" is really creepy, and disaster will soon follow. Let me pose a hypo: What if she is underage and lying about being 18? It would explain a lot.
If it turns out that I find out she's underage, then it's over. No ifs, ands, or buts. But I trust her, and believe her, in what she's told me.
So long as she is of legal age and her and Knight enjoy each of the others company, well why not? Yes, either side can be taken advantage of. Yes, there are many glaring red flags about the whole thing. Personaly, I could not ever enjoy placing myself into such a relationship as described (it makes my teeth hurt to even read about it). But who knows? It might just work out. Though I give it less than a 1% chance if you were to ask me the odds.
Good luck Knight.
I am afraid I have to reduce the odds on this to zero. If this girl is 18, than she is not a mature 18. No immature girl of 18 and 30+ year old guy will form a stable relationship. It just will not happen. Sorry about that.
Thanks for your comments. The truth is, I honestly have no idea what I'm going to say to her parents -- I truly want so very much, for them to like me, to be able to express to them, that I have nothing but honorable and good intentions, toward their daughter That I want to commit my heart to hers, 100% and totally, up to and including a hopeful eventual future marriage. I have no idea though, how to actually express that, to them
I also believe that you have good intentions. Perhaps if you told her that you are uncomfortable with her deceiving her parents, you two can decide what to do. I don’t think their acceptance is out of the question, but the longer she keeps this from you the harder they will take it. You are the adult here, a man with more experience. Do not try to tell them you have honorable intentions and will guide and protect her when you are allowing her to do something that you feel is wrong. I think you need to talk to her about this.
Physical intimacy is a non-issue for me -- I have sworn an oath to be 100% chaste, celibate, and virginal, until after a marriage to a beloved wife (whether her or someone else). I am a virgin myself, and would never touch her intimately at all, unless I am first married to her.
I am afraid that this has probably completely stunted your emotional growth. You still view relationships with the starry eyed wonder of a junior high school kid crushing on the girl who developed fastest.
Her parents WILL not be happy. I doubt she is of age. If she is, why would she lie to them. Also, why has she never had a bf at 18? Something just feels wrong about the whole thing. Also, not to be negative or anything but your desire to make her your whole world never having met her, just seems off-kilter.
She told me that she's worried, they just won't understad. I have no objections at all to her telling her parents, about her and I.
I also believe that you have good intentions. Perhaps if you told her that you are uncomfortable with her deceiving her parents, you two can decide what to do. I don’t think their acceptance is out of the question, but the longer she keeps this from you the harder they will take it. You are the adult here, a man with more experience. Do not try to tell them you have honorable intentions and will guide and protect her when you are allowing her to do something that you feel is wrong. I think you need to talk to her about this.
Thanks for your valuable and constructive suggestions
She's of legal age; so what's the hang-up? It's not like I'm 70 you know?
Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean it's 100% "right." I won't say that relationships with that age difference can't work. Some do. A good friend has been with a man 11 years her senior for a long time now. They're happy (although she was in her mid-20's when they met.) A coworker is 11 years older than his wife and married her when she was 19. He's a good guy.
The hang up is that you are blinding yourself to the real issues of May-December relationships while crooning about true love and how sweet she is. You are doing a terrible disservice by her in not facing these challenges directly. Why are you allowing this to go on as a lie? At 30+ you should have the maturity to understand how this will likely enrage her parents, how they will view you as a predator for contacting their daughter in secret. They will forgive her because she's their child, pass it off as her naivete because she's young. You are 30+ and not their child, contacting their child without their knowledge and supporting her decision to lie to them about it by continuing to talk to her. What do you really think they'll think of you??
She told me that she's worried, they just won't understad. I have no objections at all to her telling her parents, about her and I.
And what do you suppose happens next? Here are some possibilities you need to be prepared for:
-They hit the roof. Furious that she lied, grounding her and forbidding her from seeing you, taking away phone/computer/car and whatever else they can. Obviously they are going to be quick to protect her and view you as the older-man predator trying to take their 18 year old girl.
-After they forbid her to see you, she either does so, or has to leave their home, right? So then she has to deal with moving out of the home she grew up in, moving in with a man she barely knows, getting married(?), and the rejection of her parents' disapproval. Trust me, that's a hard thing for a young woman to stomach, especially all at once.
-That will throw your relationship onto shaky ground just as you're seeing each other for the first time in person. She has no experience with a boyfriend and isn't good at disagreeing with you. How do you think that will go? It's possible the breakdown of the home relationship will eventually sour your relationship.
Think this through carefully. You are playing with fire.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That I want to commit my heart to hers, 100% and totally, up to and including a hopeful eventual future marriage. I have no idea though, how to actually express that, to them 
