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I feel like I need to add more info - I didn't want to write too much in the beginning because people get bored reading a long paragraph. What happened was that on our 4th date, we had sex. I thought he would ask me to be his girlfriend or something, but he never mentioned anything. Then his dog died, he was really sad, I talked to him, listened to him for hours every day. Then I found out he got on to some dating website recently and felt I was being used - I seriously had no idea how many women he was looking for, cuz i really thought he was so sad about the death of his dog that he couldn't do anything! When I asked him about it, he said he just got on to took his pics off the websites. Later, when he seemed emotionally fine, I asked him to go hang out with my friends and he said he was still sad about his dog and didn't want to go (I didn't know what was the real reason that he didn't want to go, but at least he acted normal and not sad at all in front of me).
So after a while I got a little impatient, when we were on the phone I asked him if there's any reason why he never asked me to be his girlfriend. He said
I should assume I am his girlfriend. He was walking his other dog, saying hi to people when I tried to talk about this with him, which made me feel he didn't care too much. When I saw him in person, I brought it up again, and he said "yeah I don't need to ask you whether you want to be in a relationship with me, I thought you already knew."
I wanted to be with him and thats why I asked him about it repeatedly. However, Just combining the fact that he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend after sex, he didn't want to see my friends (he said he was sad but I saw him normal), he got on some dating websites (I had no idea what he was doing on the there), I kind of started to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. So I decided I might need more time.
Totally different situation that your opening post. You assumed that by having sex with him you were building towards a relationship, but that clearly isn't the case. Right now you are an F buddy, and people don't bend over backwards for f buddies. Let this be a lesson to you - if you want to be in an exclusive relationship, having sex first doesn't guarantee you anything. You felt you bonded with him when you had sex with him, and clearly he feels differently.
I've been seeing this guy for just several weeks, everything has been fine and we see each other almost every other day. He said he wants a serious exclusive relationship and I told him I need more time (and I explained it's not like I want to date other guys, I just want to see if we're compatible before I make a decision).
So today when we were talking on the phone, I told him I'm sick and my body temp is high. He first said "oh I wish I could make you feel better." Then I asked "can you come over here for a little bit and bring me some medicine?" He responded:" but I don't want to get sick. and I told my friends I'm going to hang out with them." Then I had to walk in the cold myself to go to the drug store....
Is it unreasonable for me to be upset with his reaction? Now I'm more scared of entering into a relationship with him, because I don't expect my bf to run away when I need him
I want you to think about something. You have had sex with this man, possibly exposing yourself to an unplanned pregnancy or an STD (either of these could bring you some worse problems than the sniffles) and when you ask him to bring you some medicine, he moans and whines about it like a little kid, as in "I don' wanna". Dump this loser.
Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free from a smiling milkmaid with a Baccarat crystal pitcher.
I know that treating someone like **** might work just fine for you,
Who said I treat people like ****? It might seem that way to socially retarded beta males like yourself, but your perspective comes from someone who has neither a backbone nor self respect.
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but I have more respect for women than that.
You don't have respect for them. You worship them. Big difference.
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And they tend to have higher self-esteem than the ones you date. Because they ask ME for the date, and the relationship--I never do.
I'd bet good money that the average girl that I date is far more mentally stable and significantly hotter than the best girl you've ever picked up.
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My girlfriends have not, for the most part, cheated on me. Just the one that said she wanted "friends with benefits". Well, apparently she thought that didn't mean she needed to be exclusive, that's the only one I walked away from. Because I demand exclusivity.
Wait a minute, you had a girl flat out tell you that she just wanted to be friends with benefits and you were not only shocked that she wasn't exclusive, but actually claim she cheated on you?!?
It's not that kids are stupid it's more of a maturity issue and the importance, or lack thereof, of what constitutes a serious relationship and the factors going into it. He is a blanket 'man-child' whom you are trying to judge based on immature behavior from a child out sowing his wild oats at this juncture in his life. You may be miles ahead of him and what constitutes as serious to you may be defined completely different by him and where you are at.
And, aye yi yi, then you badger the 'boy' about you being his girlfriend and why didn't he ask you and on and on and then when he does say something you fire back I need to think about it - that's like throwing a cold glass of water at his pecker and it recoils in fear.
His behavior is just simply textbook for a guy his age. You want the boy to be a man and he isn't there yet.
It's not that kids are stupid it's more of a maturity issue and the importance, or lack thereof, of what constitutes a serious relationship and the factors going into it. He is a blanket 'man-child' whom you are trying to judge based on immature behavior from a child out sowing his wild oats at this juncture in his life. You may be miles ahead of him and what constitutes as serious to you may be defined completely different by him and where you are at.
And, aye yi yi, then you badger the 'boy' about you being his girlfriend and why didn't he ask you and on and on and then when he does say something you fire back I need to think about it - that's like throwing a cold glass of water at his pecker and it recoils in fear.
His behavior is just simply textbook for a guy his age. You want the boy to be a man and he isn't there yet.
Is it even wrong for me to be cautious? I know I shouldn't have had sex with him, but since it had already happened, I just don't want to 'assume' we are in an exclusive relationship. I get the feeling that my definition of being "exclusive and serious" is different from his, like a different level.
Is it even wrong for me to be cautious? I know I shouldn't have had sex with him, but since it had already happened, I just don't want to 'assume' we are in an exclusive relationship. I get the feeling that my definition of being "exclusive and serious" is different from his, like a different level.
He sounds like a loser. He still hangs out with his group of friends? What is he 14? I'm sick of real life relationships looking like TV sitcom relationships.
Yeah, why would anyone would have a social life with a semi-serious girlfriend?
As for the OP, yeah...you're wrong to be upset. You're not even that serious with that guy. If you push back a man, he won't keep doing his best to impress you. Life isn't a movie.
Plus, most people when they are sick don't want anyone around them because they don't want to infect others and they know they are boring (who wants to watch you laying down?). You are sounding needy.
You should see the positive side. This guy has a social life and he won't see you sick, which isn't exactly flattering.
Yeah, why would anyone would have a social life with a semi-serious girlfriend?
As for the OP, yeah...you're wrong to be upset. You're not even that serious with that guy. If you push back a man, he won't keep doing his best to impress you. Life isn't a movie.
Plus, most people when they are sick don't want anyone around them because they don't want to infect others and they know they are boring (who wants to watch you laying down?). You are sounding needy.
You should see the positive side. This guy has a social life and he won't see you sick, which isn't exactly flattering.
Just watch movies and forget about this.
He told me (after we had sex..) that he is moving to California in 6 months - I wonder how serious the relationship could be had I agreed to be in a "serious" relationship with him.
He told me (after we had sex..) that he is moving to California in 6 months - I wonder how serious the relationship could be had I agreed to be in a "serious" relationship with him.
Regardless, your boyfriend isn't your nurse. Just get the medecine and hit the bed. You have bigger worries than this...like getting better.
He sounds like a loser. He still hangs out with his group of friends? What is he 14? I'm sick of real life relationships looking like TV sitcom relationships.
How is a loser because he has friends? I would think if he was more of a loser if the only person he had to hang out with is a girlfriend. Having a life outside of a relationship is healthy.
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I want you to think about something. You have had sex with this man, possibly exposing yourself to an unplanned pregnancy or an STD (either of these could bring you some worse problems than the sniffles) and when you ask him to bring you some medicine, he moans and whines about it like a little kid, as in "I don' wanna". Dump this loser.
Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free from a smiling milkmaid with a Baccarat crystal pitcher.
